Granndparents want to see us, what would you?

[covidco]

PIL want to visit. They live 2 hours away and would come for the day. They are in their 60s but in poor health, numerous underlying health conditions but not in a shielding group. So far we've said no. Our reasons being that I am an NHS worker, and though I use PPE I come in to regular contact with people who do not, and people who are not respecting social distancing/ lock down etc. I do not come in to contact with people who have a confirmed COVID diagnosis, though may be undiagnosed or asyptomatic.

DS is nearly 4 and DD just turned 1. They are both in nursery with other key worker kids. The nursery is not implementing social distancing or using PPE (something I am grateful for and happy about but does increase risk of my children being carriers).

PIL would be unable to last the journey and visit without going to the loo or eating/ drinking. Our toilet is furthest point from the garden. DS just about understands social distancing but I doubt he'd be able to stick to it for a full day, with DD we have no chance.

Would you let them visit?

FWIW, I am not letting my parents/ family visit so it isn't because it's PIL - we get on well, they are nice people but if we say no they will be hurt and upset.

They sound very like my PILs. I can see this coming up with them quite soon and ultimately I feel its their choice? To be honest if I was older & in poor health my instinct would be to get out and live, but thats a very personal perspective. Yes FIL in particular might not survive Covid, but as an obese diabetic 65vyear old he might well lose his life to something else in the next few years, so I'd respect his choice to want to make the most of his life

@NaturalBornWoman He’s nearly 4 so you should be able to explain before that there will be no hugs unfortunately because of the germs - as I said upthread, I think that's just cruel IMO - certainly my 6yr old son is very close with my dad and there's just no way I could put either of them in that situation!

I think that's just cruel IMO - certainly my 6yr old son is very close with my dad and there's just no way I could put either of them in that situation!

Different strokes. I’d rather see people and not hug than not see them at all. Unfortunately it’s not an option for the shielded yet, so....

I don't think me or my partner has it.
She has stayed distanced from her parents and still is although they meet but don't touch.

My mother has looked after my daughter throughout while I have worked. My mother is over 70 had cancer and hip operation recently but is also very healthy. She has expressed she doesn't want to spend her last years isolated.

I feel confused over the risks, people avoid walking past each other in the street, but I can buy bread or fruit and the shop keeper has breathed near it and touched it.

Meanwhile my partner spends all day in hospital where there is no social distancing at all, patients with it walking around. On occasion she has had to help someone with covid19 to the toilet with very little ppe.

I am in a similar situation to OP: working in NHS, DC going to school, parents who have risk factors but don't believe they are at any risk of becoming seriously unwell if/ when they get covid. My mum messaged me today to ask when I am working next week which I know will be followed up by her inviting herself round. My DC are older and have some idea of social distancing, but I don't know if they will remember when faced with grandparents to hug, I also don't know if my parents intend to comply with remaining 2m from us and not hugging DC as I know they haven't complied with social distancing in their home for several weeks. I mostly think that we pose a risk to them due to my job and travelling on public transport and the DC attending school, and they are adults and can risk assess for themselves and decide whether to take the risk, but, if they were to become seriously unwell after seeing us, I would know that might have been because I let them come. But, also, coronavirus isn't going away anytime soon, and I can't not let them see DC for a prolonged period.
My in-laws are shielding so it's entirely different, but I know they would be very upset to know that my parents had seen DC and they hadn't been able to.
(I also don't have the strength to get the house to a suitable standard of tidiness for anyone to come round while also working and home schooling)