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Original poster

Neighbour just lost his shit with me

62 replies

Overallthis · 27/05/2020 12:09

Hi. I'm working from home just now as is my husband. Guy upstairs isn't working just now because of the lockdown. So we have had to listen to him yelling slamming doors etc every now and then.

He spoke to me today and said that a neighbour was coming over to unblock a drain and it would be £20 each. I said fine.

So I'm sitting here trying to work. It's our month end and pretty busy. I'm trying to resolve some issues that require concentration. Then I hear upstairs neighbour shouting outside. The drain unblocking is underway and other neighbours are turning up to watch. I can hear them talking and laughing but upstairs neighbour is another level noisy. He's shouting up at his gf, shouting at the others who are right there not at the other end of the street. This goes on for about 20 minutes and I am very frustrated because I can't concentrate on my work.

Eventually I've had enough and go out and ask upstairs neighbour if he can keep the noise down please as I'm trying to work. Well, he lost his mind. Roaring at me that he's just talking to his neighbours and that he had arranged for the drain to be unblocked because I am not bothered!

To be honest I don't bother arranging to get things fixed that require other neighbours to pay a share because this guy still owes me money from years ago. All the other neighbours paid me but he didn't and he threatened my dad when he came over to ask him about the money he owed me. And there's been loads of issues over the years with his neglectful behaviour resulting in damage to my property that he doesn't bother about when asked.

Anyway I was shaking. One of the other neighbours said he shouldn't be shouting at a woman. I went inside and got the money for the other neighbour. We spoke briefly and I was nearly I'm tears after being shouted at. I wanted to say something about upstairs neighbour's behaviour but I didn't.

I went back inside and could hear him upstairs going nuts, slamming doors and mouthing off at his gf. Then on the phone to someone, but that might have been about something else, I hope.

I'm a bit scared about repercussions now. I mean he's never actually done anything before and we've had a few run ins but when he threatened my dad he was implying that he knows some dodgy people who could sort him out.

My heart is still thumping.

OP posts:
ExclamationPerfume · 27/05/2020 12:15

He shouldn't have got angry with you. I think he is perfectly allowed to make noise during the day though. It's not his problem you are working from home.

AJPTaylor · 27/05/2020 12:35

Wireless noise cancelling headphones with something nice on is your answer.

Fishfingersandwichplease · 27/05/2020 12:41

Did you say DH is there too? Can he step in at all if needed?

HoppingPavlova · 27/05/2020 12:55

Can’t you wear earbuds/earphones? I don’t have an issue with noise and concentration but by fuck I’ve had a household intent on inane chatter over this period and this is how I solved it. I seriously can’t hear any of them, utterly brilliant.

DishingOutDone · 27/05/2020 13:15

The issue isn't that the OP should have to put up with the noise or not, the neighbour might feel entitled to make a noise, but he isn't entitled to be aggressive and confrontational.

The OP doesn't deserve abuse and intimidation because she asked a man to keep the noise down.

Original poster
Overallthis · 27/05/2020 13:29

Hi, thanks for the comments. My husband recently purchased expensive noise cancelling headphones, he is extremely noise sensitive and prior to this was not dealing well with the upstairs neighbour's shouting, door slamming and loud music. These headphones work so well he was unaware of what happened today, I filled him in later. I really don't want to get him involved, I'm not wanting this guy attacking my husband or something.

So maybe I should get a pair too. My husband let me try his last week when the neighbour decided to invite a friend over during lockdown to do some DIY - there was hammering, sawing and drilling as I tried to work and the headphones blocked most of the noise apart from the shrill drilling sounds.

And yes it's his aggressive, intimidating manner. Had someone asked me if I could turn the volume down I'd have apologised and done so. But this guy just goes nuts. He's very hyper and loud, always seems wired. Acts like a bouncy teenager even though he's middle aged. My husband said maybe he's deaf because of the loud music he plays and doesn't realise he's shouting?

I'm still feeling tense. Hoping I don't see him again for a while.

OP posts:
Needamanicure · 27/05/2020 13:31

It sounds like he has some major anger issues. To be honest I wouldn't annoy someone like that for your own good.

He obviously 'talks' very loudly and feels in the day shouting back and forth to his g/f, the people working on the roads is ok hence his response to you. We all have different levels of what sound we think is ok. To help could you wear earplugs/headphones etc?

I get that you shouldn't have to put up with his anger but to make life easier sometimes it is better to avoid some people and confrontations with them and given his history with you I personally wouldn't have asked him to be quiet in the middle of the day...

Needamanicure · 27/05/2020 13:40

Get the same headphones as your husband has, if they blocked out the perfectly reasonable DIY during the day then they will work for some shouting

Original poster
Overallthis · 27/05/2020 13:51

He wasn't in the street, the drain is round the back of the building next to where I live. So he was shouting right outside my window. The other neighbours are retired and seem to get on ok with him, laughing at his antics. But they wouldn't like it so much if they were living underneath him.

Yes usually I suck it up but I stupidly thought he'd be decent and quieten down while I work. I had to approach him a few weeks back to ask him to turn his music down, my husband had gone to sleep in the shed to escape it and was in a very bad way mentally. I was extremely concerned. It took me a while to get the balls to go up there to speak to him but he said he'd turn it down when I said my husband couldn't sleep with the noise. I heard him going nuts after I asked him to turn it down. Strangely my husband said he apologised for the loud music later on, but that didn't stop him from doing it again the following weekend Hmm

I just about jumped out of my skin there, a courier banged on our door. I thought it was the neighbour.

OP posts:
idontsmokeivape · 27/05/2020 14:22

Sorry that happened to you. Some people are just shit and some people are on stimulants that make them shit. I would have been shaken up too. Tell your husband just so he is abreast of things and try to have a pleasant afternoon.

HoppingPavlova · 27/05/2020 14:43

These headphones work so well he was unaware of what happened today,

There’s a problem solved!

BenScalesIsAGod · 27/05/2020 14:46

Isn’t it quite nice that he’s sorting the drain out? Blocked drains aren’t nice!

Northernsoullover · 27/05/2020 14:50

Do you know what I would do? I'd apologise to him. No you shouldn't bloody have to and you have nothing to apologise for in my opinion. The only reason I would do this is because you have to live there. I remember apologising to the nasty neighbour in my last house. I nearly choked on my words but we happily ignored each other for ten years after that. Obviously only do this if its safe to do so.

RyanBergarasTeeth · 27/05/2020 14:52

Isn’t it quite nice that he’s sorting the drain out? Blocked drains aren’t nice!

Wtaf?! So someone does something necessary that benefits himself so that gives him the right to shout and intimidate an innocent person who has the right to quiet enjoyment of her home? Mental.

madcatladyforever · 27/05/2020 14:54

Well he's a rude prick but to be fair you can't expect everyones life to stop because you are working, just get a pair of really good headphones or whatever and suck it up.
I used to have neighbours who complained constantly about music, hoover, cat in the middle of the day!
When am I supposed to do my housework then?

BenScalesIsAGod · 27/05/2020 14:57

But it also benefits the OP for her drains not to
Be blocked? Or is it not a shared drain?

The way I understood it was that the angry man was sorting it on behalf of the others. He was then very noisy whilst doing so. Maybe I’ve read it wrong...

RyanBergarasTeeth · 27/05/2020 15:00

But it also benefits the OP for her drains not to
Be blocked? Or is it not a share

What i am saying is he has not decided to get the drain unblocked out of the goodness of his heart. He is doing it because it benefits him. The fact it benefits op is inconsequential. That gives him no right to be loud and aggressive at what is a perfectly reasonable request from the op.

BenScalesIsAGod · 27/05/2020 15:01

The way he reacted sounds a bit scary and I’d try not to provoke him to be honest.

I was just wondering if he reacted so angrily because he thought he was doing everyone a favour by unblocking the drain but he was told to be quiet...

BenScalesIsAGod · 27/05/2020 15:02

He’s doing it because it benefits him but the OP would also benefit from it. If he didn’t sort it then she would have to 🤷‍♀️

whatcolourisyourwednesday · 27/05/2020 15:12

this has happened to me too and I understand how insecure you must feel now.

give it some time and buy the headphones.

Pommiedownunder · 27/05/2020 15:16

Drains are utterly grim, they are full of sewage.

Devlesko · 27/05/2020 15:18

Eh, he shouldn't have shouted, but you know he's a noisy neighbour and you are wfh, why didn't you get some headphones?

Devlesko · 27/05/2020 15:19

Oh, and make sure you and dh do your share of arranging maintenance on the property, maybe he feels it's down to him to organise all the time.

NicLondon1 · 27/05/2020 15:21

He does sound a bit unhinged - BUT I would pick my battles if I were you... 20 mins of shouting in the middle of the day is hardly noise pollution. Everybody is under duress and I can hear more arguments that usual... if it was midnight I'd understand.
But yes, do buy the headphones, and I'd say if he disturbs your work for an hour you are definitely within your rights to complain. 20 mins...? less so

Tabitha005 · 27/05/2020 15:30

Blokes like this make ME lose my shit. Abject arseholes with no consideration for anyone else. Who the hell does he think he is? I bet the other neighbours merely put up with his shitty behaviour so as not to provoke him into shouting and being aggressive towards them.

If I lived in your flat, I'd be underway working on a series of plans to make him think his property is haunted by a malevolent spirit.

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