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Original poster

Neighbour just lost his shit with me

62 replies

Overallthis · 27/05/2020 12:09

Hi. I'm working from home just now as is my husband. Guy upstairs isn't working just now because of the lockdown. So we have had to listen to him yelling slamming doors etc every now and then.

He spoke to me today and said that a neighbour was coming over to unblock a drain and it would be £20 each. I said fine.

So I'm sitting here trying to work. It's our month end and pretty busy. I'm trying to resolve some issues that require concentration. Then I hear upstairs neighbour shouting outside. The drain unblocking is underway and other neighbours are turning up to watch. I can hear them talking and laughing but upstairs neighbour is another level noisy. He's shouting up at his gf, shouting at the others who are right there not at the other end of the street. This goes on for about 20 minutes and I am very frustrated because I can't concentrate on my work.

Eventually I've had enough and go out and ask upstairs neighbour if he can keep the noise down please as I'm trying to work. Well, he lost his mind. Roaring at me that he's just talking to his neighbours and that he had arranged for the drain to be unblocked because I am not bothered!

To be honest I don't bother arranging to get things fixed that require other neighbours to pay a share because this guy still owes me money from years ago. All the other neighbours paid me but he didn't and he threatened my dad when he came over to ask him about the money he owed me. And there's been loads of issues over the years with his neglectful behaviour resulting in damage to my property that he doesn't bother about when asked.

Anyway I was shaking. One of the other neighbours said he shouldn't be shouting at a woman. I went inside and got the money for the other neighbour. We spoke briefly and I was nearly I'm tears after being shouted at. I wanted to say something about upstairs neighbour's behaviour but I didn't.

I went back inside and could hear him upstairs going nuts, slamming doors and mouthing off at his gf. Then on the phone to someone, but that might have been about something else, I hope.

I'm a bit scared about repercussions now. I mean he's never actually done anything before and we've had a few run ins but when he threatened my dad he was implying that he knows some dodgy people who could sort him out.

My heart is still thumping.

OP posts:

SixesAndEights · 27/05/2020 15:35

Why are you giving him money when he owes you money?

Original poster

Overallthis · 27/05/2020 15:36

The angry neighbour didn't unblock the drain. It was another neighbour who did this, I gave him £20 for it. Angry neighbour was out there "chatting with the others". He might have lifted up a drain cover or something to help, I don't know but the other neighbour was dealing with the blockage, I saw him bending over wearing a facemask. It's possible that he did see himself as doing me a favour by asking the other neighbour to unblock the drain, I don't know the other neighbour myself.

But yes, agree that he only got it done because it benefits him. Had angry neighbour unblocked the drain himself and asked for £20 for it I'd have told him he's already got it because he still owed me £20 from when I paid for the gutters to be cleaned.

I'll try to avoid him for a while, it's so stressful being spoken to like that. He's got an aggressive manner, he was even saying fuck to the retired neighbours when he spoke to them. Obviously they have no problem with him as they're not living with the noise.

OP posts:

manitobajane · 27/05/2020 15:36

He shouldn't have got angry with you. I think he is perfectly allowed to make noise during the day though. It's not his problem you are working from home.

^ This. You can't expect them all to be quiet because you are working, you need to take responsibility for creating your own quiet space to work - get some headphones.

FlaskMaster · 27/05/2020 15:40

He's just a noisy cunt, don't give him headspace. This is big thing to you, but to him this will be nothing because he's a mouthy bastard and this'll happen all the time. You told him off, he told you to shove it, you disagreed, no big deal. Shake it off.

zonkin · 27/05/2020 15:40

He got the drain unblocking sorted. Which affects all the flats in a positive way. He's a noisy neighbour. A lot of people are WFH atm. Get the noise cancelling headphones.

QuacksInTheDark · 27/05/2020 15:41

I’d have just shouted over him to JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP. But I’m rough like that, he’s obviously a nasty little prick who thinks he can do what he likes try and avoid him in future and if you do bump in to him just keep repeating that you couldn’t give a flying fuck byeeee and walk away. Men like this hate it when they can’t get to you.

JacobReesMogadishu · 27/05/2020 15:42

He sounds not very nice. Hopefully he calms down. The heat is getting to people.

@Overallthis can I ask what noise cancelling headphones your dh has got please as I just got some mid price ones and they’re not great.

CocoR · 27/05/2020 15:47

Of course he shouldn't have shouted at you.

But equally I don't think you can really tell people to keep it down during the day, unless they're full on having a mad daytime rave.

I'm also wfh, finding it hard, and sick of hearing the neighbours on all sides playing music/kids screaming/trampolining/kicking balls into their fences. Poor DP is working nights at the hospital and he's struggling to sleep in the day.

BUT I'm aware that it's daytime and people are entitled to play outside and make general noise. We put up a new shed recently and made a lot of banging noise. It's just what happens when you live near people.

By all means call the non-emergency police number if the noise is completely mental, but there's not much you can do about a certain amount of noise. I can't tell next door to shut up their feral kids because I'm working (as much as I'd love to).

effingterrified · 27/05/2020 15:56

Call the police if you feel threatened or think he is being deliberately noisy.

I had a psycho neighbour like this in the past who was repeatedly rude and aggressive and it ended with him physically punching my dh over the fence in front of my dcs! I had to call the police and they were great at dealing with it.

RantyAnty · 27/05/2020 16:00

Surprised your DH doesn't defend you.

You said you've been there for years. Have you thought about moving?

Mwnci123 · 27/05/2020 16:01

Christ almighty I can't believe some people are taking the antisocial, intimidating neighbour's side.

This sounds really stressful. I would imagine he is just a big shouty dickhead rather than actually being a vindictive career criminal though, so would try to put it from your mind and move on. There was nothing at all wrong with asking him to be quieter, but yes, fancy noise cancelling headphones are probably the way forward.

Original poster

Overallthis · 27/05/2020 16:09

I can hear my DH on a video call with his boss updating him on the noisy neighbour situation...

@JacobReesMogadishu they are Sony headphones, cost around £200.

Yes there's kids running around kicking balls outside here too, but that's not as loud as a grown man bellowing. It's like he is incapable of speaking in a normal tone of voice. Sometimes I hear him yelling and shouting aggressively on the phone up there, then 2 seconds later he's laughing . It's amazing when it's quiet but we're always on edge waiting on it starting again.

Will be looking to sell up and move elsewhere as soon as we can, have had enough (I've lived here for years, I regret moving here).

OP posts:

Stefoscope · 27/05/2020 16:14

He sounds like a nob. Agreed you can't expect silence during the day, but there's no need for someone to be slamming doors and shouting to someone who's stood right next to them for long periods of time. I expect he's a very insecure little man and felt like you were trying to show him up in front of the other neighbours hence his overraction.

SuckingDieselFella · 27/05/2020 16:22

He's a tool.

I would have reported him some time ago for threatening behaviour towards you and your dad.

ErickBroch · 27/05/2020 16:31

He's clearly a massive dickhead. I'm afraid headphones will be your answer as there's no reasoning with someone like that.

Original poster

Overallthis · 27/05/2020 16:35

I was at work when he threatened my dad. He told him he'd take his fucking head off. Called him a cunt and said my dad doesn't know who he knows (implying he's got dodgy friends who could do him in). My mum was there too, as were other neighbours. Really that's criminal behaviour and it should have been reported. But you worry about what he might do. He did apologise to my dad next time he saw him. He's still a horrible little fucker though.

Yes you might be right about him feeling like I'd shown him up in front of the other neighbours.

OP posts:

heartsonacake · 27/05/2020 16:41

@manitobajane

He shouldn't have got angry with you. I think he is perfectly allowed to make noise during the day though. It's not his problem you are working from home.

^ This. You can't expect them all to be quiet because you are working, you need to take responsibility for creating your own quiet space to work - get some headphones.

Absolutely these.

VenusTiger · 27/05/2020 16:48

OP, what would happen if all of you went and had a word with him about his behaviour?

Is it possible for you both to consider moving?

VenusTiger · 27/05/2020 16:52

But you worry about what he might do. He did apologise to my dad...

OP, he apologised because of the witnesses to his outburst - he was shitting his pants you'd get the police involved - so he doesn't have dodgy friends - they are empty threats. Go ahead and report his abuse and threats. Do it. Get a Ring doorbell and only ever have conversations with him outside your front door where it can all be captured on film. Do not tell him about the doorbell.

handbagsatdawn33 · 27/05/2020 16:55

Why are you paying to have a drain unblocked?
The Water Companies do it for free.

Original poster

Overallthis · 27/05/2020 16:56

I don't think the other neighbours would be up for that. The one who unblocked the drain lives over the road and won't be affected. The retired couple next door he keeps them on side and has been getting their groceries during lockdown etc. There's another family upstairs opposite him who probably hear some of it but I don't know them.

So we're on our own really. We need to move but I don't even know if I'll be able to sell this place. Another flat along the road has been on the market since last year and I need to do this place up anyway. But I just want to move on, enough is enough.

OP posts:

justasking111 · 27/05/2020 17:09

One neighbour has a big garden, usually has a gardener in. I think he is bored, his lawn tractor going every three days, petrol strimmer, petrol hedge cutters, the noise is every afternoon. DS trying to complete his uni essays and projects put up with it for a week or so then had the bright idea to put alexa on the windowsill and play music, the russian national anthem plus other rugby type anthems across the world. That sorted out the distraction for him and gave the neighbour a big hint. Things have improved now.

DishingOutDone · 27/05/2020 17:09

So you'd need to be cagey about complaining now OP if you want to sell; does he own or rent BTW?

In any case you dont want a neighbour dispute showing up so I'd make enquiries with the estate agent now, see how the land lies. you can't live like that.

Bipette79 · 27/05/2020 17:22

Just want to show support really. Have been in the exact same situation as the guy living below us is a massive bully with anger management issues (screamed at us, sent abusive texts etc...). I know how stressful this is. Felt really shaken and scared.

guanciale · 27/05/2020 17:33

report to the police and council for anti social behaviour

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