I have lived with 3 men in my current house, and 2 before that.
With the exception of 1, they have all left the toilet seat and interior clean after them. The rest of the bathroomm...so so.
The one man who left the toilet seat soiled (the actual seat!) was a disgusting man. I still get angry thinking about him. He was travelling out to Thailand regularly on his own (and lives there, now). Each time he returned, his behaviour towards the rest of us got worse. I think he was paying for services out there and got used to the authority/power in those situations.
Finally, after several general emails mentioning how we all need to keep the toilet clean, I sent an email saying that I had just been in there and the seat was soiled. I then went out.
I came back 10 -15 mins later and he was standing at the top of the stairs, fuming. I could feel the anger from him. He said in a very aggressive manner where was the problem, pointing to the toilet. I looked and it had been cleaned.
We were the only two people who had been in that morning (the others were out). He had cleaned the toilet when I popped out to make it seem as though it was OK, but it was obvious what he had done.
I realised then he was a bit unbalanced and I just smiled at him and said 'Oh, it looks clean now, great' and left it.
My point is that, this man couldn't mentally deal with the fact he was making the mess and acknowledge it. He was incredibly difficult to live with (moods, temper, etc) and this was a houseshare. I would say half his problems were caused by his sense of entitlement (to live in a clean hose but not do the cleaning, to want a girlfriend yet not make any effort to be at all nice or kind). He told huge lies about his job, who he was, etc and he made my life horrible at a time when I was ill.
Toilet training is basic. It isn't something you forget to do. If something happens in someone else's home and they mention it, most people are so embarrassed and horrified they fall over themselves to apologise. A friend of mine visited and was ill during the visit. She was so apologetic of the smell in the bathroom afterwards. You don''t have to overdo it with the apologies but you know when someone is genuine or not.
I think I would struggle with this, now. At a certain point you have to know you are dealing with an adult who is prepared to notice these things and how they play out in a home.
Apologies for the essay. I am just really angry that we (women) end up living with these kind of men when as has been said, if they wanted to impress or it was their boss, they would never behave in these ways. It shows a lack of respect at a fundamental level.