What traits would you say makes someone considered to ‘intense’ to you?

[Ukelele3]

What traits would you say makes someone considered to ‘intense’ to you?

In this case, I mean intense in a negative way - like what behaviours would put you off a person as you’d think they are too intense for you (friendship-wise)?

If they were over-the-top complimentary very quickly into the potential friendship.
If they wanted to tell you lots of very personal information without the conversation naturally and mutually having gone in that direction.
If they queried why you weren't responding quickly enough to messages without keeping in mind maybe you were just busy and hadn't had chance yet.
There are loads of things, those are few off the top of my head

People who are significantly fixated on a particular topic and will find a way to maneuver any form of communication either spoken, social media or texting to be solely about that, and cannot comprehend anyone having a different viewpoint and see it as a crusade to correct your thinking!

Quick to bring up people they feel have wronged them, believing other people are out to get them, openly jealous of others.

Double texting ie not waiting for a reply. Popping round unannounced. Crying very early on in the friendship.

Main conversational topics are negative. Always moaning. Can't take a compliment and can't give them either.

I can go on!

If they say my name too often.

Being too physical and huggy
Too much personal info early on of a very personal kind
Describing me as a bestie early
Calling/WhatsApp too much
Getting moody if they don’t get an immediate reply
Wanting their own way about where we go/what we do all the time
Mostly talking about themselves

People who stand too close to you and/or look really intently in your eyes (like more than normal eye contact)

If they go off on a trajectory of their own subject. If they dont understand social cues. If they bore every other person in the room. If they are totally uninterested in other people. Bores take away your silence and leave nothing in its place.

Sharing too much information too quickly.
Constant need of contact.

What does everyone mean by sharing too much (personal) information? @Kljnmw3459 and @HalloumiSalad

What kind of things would fall under this remit? Like if they spoke about their relationship status, job, illnesses they have etc. or things like their darkest fears, ex partners, divorce, illnesses of family members?

I have got a friend who always try to me draw me back into her eyeline if l see someone else l know but freakishly so....way too intense. Wants to talk about feelings all the time!! Can't make an off the cuff remark to her about anything cos she is an over thinker...very fond of her but jeez she is hard work sometimes

Telling you all their problems within 2 minutes of meeting.

Ahhh I'm 'intense', I have Asperger's. Things that I reckon I can do that are intense is cry a lot/easily set off into tears, unpredictable and intense mood swings, I have a long history of anxiety and depression so I can be very very low or very very anxious/have panic attacks, talk about suicide fairly frequently, I can get really obsessed with a topic/thing and talk about that most of the time for ages, some health anxiety, regret and a tendency to agonise over past decisions/experiences again and again, I'm brutally honest...BUT obviously I'm not like this with everyone all of the time! There are few people who would know me as intense I think, and absolutely nobody other than DH who truly know just how intense.

As an aside, I basically have myself for being the way I am - I guess thats maybe also intense...

Getting 'funny' if you have other friends etc. Constantly texting/calling. Too much personal info. Overly complimentary. Getting moody over your clothes style/house/job (finance envy)

This is within a very short time of meeting you.

People who take everything really seriously.

Assuming they know everything about me ,texting /messaging all the time , popping round ,telling their problems

To anyone thinking they fall into people's idea of too intense, don't worry too much - there are certainly people out there who won't mind certain traits at all. I don't actually mind sharing of personal info, lots of compliments or one track topics sometimes and I'm sure there are others like me. Too intense would be excess drama, jealousy or really anything that starts to make me feel uncomfortable. But 'uncomfortable' is going to be a different threshold for everyone!

People who stand too close to you and/or look really intently in your eyes (like more than normal eye contact)

This, coupled with saying things like "but how are you really?"

I said I'm fine. I'm either a)fine or b)not fine but absolutely not going to talk to you about it so stop.

Too intense for me is someone who requires more of my attention and social energy than I'm willing to share. So it varies greatly.

Your posting style perfectly illustrates 'too intense' I think, OP.

Too much information too soon, basically giving you lots of unnecessary details such as problems in your family, issues with your OH, childhood traumas etc. Stuff that you wouldn't expect someone to share with a person they don't know that well. Illnesses are different though generally I find that most people only mention their illness or disability (or family member's illness) briefly without going into details about how it impacts everyone.

Too much communication (when it's not a two way thing). Needy follow up messages if there is no reply to a text within a period of time. Not picking up on hints when trying to back off a bit.
You're not the 'is this person a friend' posted are you?

For me the one thing that I find too intense is if I say I’ll call someone back and they keep calling or texting. Unless it’s pretty urgent that gets on my nerves. The over sharing doesn’t bother me, some people you just bond with quicker than others.

I have a friend who is intense about life, she analyses everything and is so concerned about doing the right thing and being there for everyone. She can spend an hour on the phone going over and over things that I would just do and not give a second thought to. It is exhausting. Also she “worries”about me when I really don’t need it I have a good life.

Friendships are a two way thing and should develop naturally. Think of them as like farts - if you push hard it could well be shit.

So any of your examples (job, illnesses, divorce, can't be bothered to scroll back for the others, etc) could be too intense if you're bringing them up with people you don't know well, people who have indicated that they're not interested or people who have enough of their own shit going on that it's really inappropriate for you to dump your shit on them too.

Never dominate a conversation.