Feel so low and I don’t know what to do

[Solow2020]

I’m sorry. I don’t really know where else to post. I’ve been feeling so low for years now and I can’t see it changing. I feel completely empty inside. I’m not interested in keeping going to see if things better. I just want it all to be over. I feel like I’m constantly in pain and just want it to end.

I am too much of a coward to kill myself. I’ve thought that maybe I could just not drink or eat for the next week and let death come to me naturally.

I have no dependents and little family.

I don’t want pity or anything like that. I guess I just want someone to say it’s ok to feel this way and ok to stop trying.

I've messaged you privately @Solow2020

Please don't apologise. Could you call the Pohwer mental health helpline on 0300 456 2370 when they reopen on tuesday? They are open 8am-6pm every Monday-Friday, and can offer you support and help you talk through your options. Today, you could call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24/7 and can listen to you with no judgement. You aren't alone OP, feel free to come back here to talk too

I don’t know. I don’t really want to talk on the phone. I just don’t really want to be here anymore. I feel very sad about everything and I just feel so tired of it all and tired of feeling sad.

I don’t think this is something that will go away for me.

That sounds like such a burden for you. Not much info on your post as to whether you have had any help for your low mood over the years and if so, and nothing has worked, then I am very sorry. If not, then definitely seek help from your GP to see if medication could be tried as there can definitely be faulty chemistry at work here. If it is partly situational, then that can change too. Many of us have had some terrible low points in life. I remember thinking that I wouldn't throw myself in front of a bus, but if one happened to mount the kerb while I was walking along, that would be very handy. Hope you can get some help soon, maybe this lockdown has made everything seem even worse. Sorry I feel as if I have been zero help.

Hi OP
I second speaking to your GP, you deserve support. If you don't want to talk you can text Shout at 85258 www.giveusashout.org

Hello Solow2020,

We are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way but we're glad you've posted as our users are very supportive.

We hope you don't mind, but we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources.
You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We will also move your thread across to Mental Health as the posters there are likely to be more in tune with how you're feeling.

We very much hope things look a little brighter for you soon

Can you tell us more about how you feel @Solow2020?

I feel like I’m lost to everyone and I belong to no one. I have some friends but no real family I’m close to. I realised today I don’t care for anyone in my life bar one person and even they’re gone. I just feel very empty. I can’t see the point of continuing. I don’t have the energy to wait for things to change or become better. I feel exhausted. I feel very sad that I have no one who truly cares for me or loves me. I wish very much I was no longer here.

What do you do - and was it affected by lockdown? Do you live by yourself? In normal non lockdown times would you be able to access help?

Lockdown is very hard for people’s mental health but it won’t be like this forever, even though it feels like it will and I recognise that horrible feeling of looking into the abyss.

Loneliness is so hard but there will be a way out of it - we won’t be isolated forever and in the meantime can you get some support online like here and other places? Are there people you haven’t contacted for a while that you could contact?

I think our minds find it very difficult to understand that in fact this is not our reality forever, so it does feel bleak.

I know you weren’t talking about the lockdown, but it is amplifying and exacerbating everything. That and the sadness related to the pandemic.

Hello OP

So sorry to hear that you are feeling so low. Please go and see your GP If you have not already to get some help. There are a range of different treatments that may help. In the meantime you could call one of the support groups already mentioned. The samaritans are fab.

Sending a virtual hug. X

I don’t know. I honestly don’t know how I can ever feel better.

I can't offer help op but I feel exactly the same as you. I'm sorry you feel this way because I know how awful it is. I also realise people think they're helping when they tell you to ring samaritans go to gp etc. They mean well but they can never understand. I understand and I know there isn't a quick fix. Just keep going, that's what people like you and me do.

Keep talking here @Solow2020 and @Ghostlyglow - write really long posts explaining everything that is difficult and how you feel. I think the more details you post, the more people will hopefully be able to help 💕.