Why is being an early bird seen as somehow morally preferable?

[Wrongdissection]

DH is an early bird, he’s up by 6am latest every single morning, exercising and pottering about before work, catching up on tv, sticking washing in and just general DOING early doors. He regularly falls asleep on the sofa by 8.30pm. Making it to 10pm is an achievement we comment on (unless special occasion and we’re out and about!).

I am not an early bird. I set my alarm for 15 minutes before I’m due to start work (homeworker before all this anyway) and struggle when I have to do it earlier. I do my pottering and exercising after work, I catch up on tv and am usually ready to go to bed between 10 and midnight.

So why does everyone seem to say things like ‘if you went to bed earlier you’d be able to get up earlier’ or ‘you’re tired because you stay up late’ and yet no one ever suggests to DH that he’d be able to stay up later if he stayed in bed longer in the morning? Why is getting up early somehow morally superior and to be aspired to?! We’re awake for pretty much the same amount of hours per day so why is one better than the other?

I would say I'm a morning person not a early bird . I like to get up before everyone have coffee , put a wash on , tidy up , get ready .
My dh would sleep all day if I didn't wake him but he's mostly up later than me . I'll be in bed for 11.-11,30 he is 12.30 and later if not working .
When working I can very rarely stay awake past 11pm .
I'm one of those that think you are wasting the day but only if not up by 10-11am .
My parents are early birds and would text me at 6-7am at weekends which would annoy me so I put it on dnd .
I think before 8am at weekends is early , 7am in the week and wouldn't disturb anyone before that time . Mind you my parents do everything earlier like eating dinner , if we eat at 6pm they will say oh I didn't think you'd be still eating like they assume you should of eaten by that time .

As far as I'm concerned there are 24 hours in a day, use them as you see fit. I can't imagine how much more productive the economy would be if companies allowed employees to work the hours they function best in! You get more out of me from 6am to 10am than you do the rest of the day. By 3pm I'm a dribbling mess.

That being said it took years of being forced to be an early bird (DH naturally rises before 6 and wants to be asleep by 10pm. He's not a slender man so no chance of his tip toeing out the room without me hearing him). If I were left to my own devices I would definitely be more of a night owl.

This is one of the things dh and I argue most about. He wants us to lie down at 10pm every night (he claims he can’t sleep unless I’m lying down next to him) even if I read under the covers he moans he can’t get to sleep. I prefer to read until about 11.30 and I don’t usually get up until about 9am. He is up at 6am every day and yes, too tired to do anything much after work and likes to put his feet up! I feel I have a lot more energy than him. He often moans that he’s tired, even at the weekend and I say “why don’t you have a lie in then?” But he seems to think he’s somehow superior because he gets up early and that I “laze around in bed at weekends” yes mate, but I still get about 100x more stuff than you done once I do get up!

Yesterday his parents were boasting about how they’re “still up at 6.30am every day even during lockdown” and I just thought “why though”? They’ve nothing to do except their gardening!

I felt most productive when my DDs had school hours of 7.30-1 (well, 7.30-10.30 for the younger DD, but I paid for a couple of afternoon sessions). But that was more having our free family time in one chunk rather than split between before and after school. School was 10 minutes by bike, so we left at 7.15- I was up 6.30, them, 6.45. Now I get up at 7 as DH gets up then, and DDs awake by 7.30... but we don't leave for school (in normal times) until 8.30.

I think your problem is the more the opposing schedules rather than early Vs late... You just need time to do something together.

I've never understood why people feel superior for being up early, actually this is something that winds me up no end .

I'm not uk, here early birds are referred to as A people and night owls as B people. It really says it all.

I don't think being an early bird gives you any brownie points in the workplace. If you get in at 8am nobody notices. If you stay until 7pm people do notice.

Although a few years ago I got fed up with a Facebook running group because they were always talking about "smug pants" if they went out at 6am for a run. I could never understand why it was better to go for a run at 6am than 6pm.

Night time is associated with nefarious activities usually related to sex, hedonism and drug use, so night owls are viewed with suspicion. Mornings are associated with hard work, prayers - religious communities get up at the crack of dawn to pray - and seen as virtuous. People who lay around in bed all morning are regarded as indolent.

Research indicates that night owls tend to have higher intelligence levels and are more creative.

I’m an early bird and people are always suggesting I get up later and go to bed later. I’d probably not exercise at all if that happened though.

I was always a night owl until about 2 years ago when I started attending a 7 am yoga class before work every morning. I have to get up at 6am to do this. It seems by body prefers yoga to sleep and now I automatically wake up at this time even if i don't have a yoga class planned. I definitely feel much better for it and find lying on makes me feel groggy for the remainder of the day. I do like a little nap on the couch later on in the day at the weekends though.

I'm both! I get up around 6.30am and go to bed at 11.30pm. Best of both worlds

I think it's because society is built around day time being "productive" time. So, OH is definitely a night owl. Theoretically, I have no issue with that. But, if he wasn't also the type who could pull it together, I'd be pretty resentful if I have to do the morning run/breakfast/school preparation etc by myself every day because he's snoozing, for example.

But in many cases (looking at you Mum), the night owl lands up abdicating responsibility around family/work stuff which causes a great deal of resentment. I met a woman once who was a freelance designer and also a night owl. It totally worked for her because she worked for an agency based in the US but was UK based so she simply worked the same hours as the team in Ohio or whatever it was and they were happy and she was happy.

I used to find it frustrating how DH would be doing washing at 10pm while I was watching tv but eventually I had to accept it didn't impact me and if he didn't feel he could do the washing during the day because he couldn't cope with the multi tasking involved, then so be it.

I guess because back in the day people would be up early to work whereas people who were out late were getting up to no good or drinking etc. So that's probs just stuck even though now we can do any schedule.

I've always been a night owl. I find being awake late easy and my brains all a-whir.

I go to bed at 9pm to be up for work at 6.30 (start at 7) and I always struggle to fall asleep until 11 and find my wake up painful.

It's just how I'm geared. Although I am healthier when I'm up early, I guess because I don't eat crap or drink booze in the morning and there's less time to do so after work.

I have trouble getting to sleep, which makes me a night owl by default. If I can get to sleep earlier, I will. But I still have to get up in the morning whether I've had 6 hours or not.

DP calls himself a Night Owl because he will stay up through the night until he can't see straight if he's gone into a YouTube rabbithole. He's not a Night Owl. He's a Lesser Balding Hibernating Sloth.

He was clattering around at 10.30pm last night with all the lights on just as I was feeling tired enough to go to bed. Because of the noise and lights, I missed my 'dip' and I was awake until just before 2am. He came to bed at 3.30am because he was tired, having spent an entire 11 hours awake, not counting the sneaky two hour nap he had whilst I was still working.

At 4.35am, he has a dream that entailed him shaking me awake and talking at me. Then, once I had expressed my extreme displeasure, he said I'd woken him up by asking what the fuck he thought he was doing waking me up like that. And moaned that I was keeping him awake when he was tired.

He's still sleeping now.

If he gets up at a reasonable time, actually does something, doesn't have his 3-4 hour long naps during the day and keeps off the fucking internet and energy drinks into the early hours, he is asleep by 11pm. It's great when he's working, as he has no choice but to get up and he doesn't waste an entire day.

His argument is that it doesn't matter what time he sleeps until, if he's tired, he will sleep. Me, when he has been directly responsible for my having roughly 90 minutes sleep in a night, only to have him sleeping all morning and afternoon and then claiming when he finally gets up that it's too late to do any housework, shopping or anything else other than watch more fucking shit on the telly or internet? I think he's a lazy bastard who should haul his bone idle carcass out of bed by 9.30am and should have drunk coffee and powered through like I have to today because of him.

I think I have the fucking moral high ground on this at present.

My perception may be a little skewed because of the 4.35am cuntery

I even sometimes keep the blinds shut when working 7am-9am because I find the sunlight intrusive. Fuck maybe I'm undead?

@MitziK 4.30am cuntery entitles you to whatever you like 🤣

@MitziK if you have room for it, you and your dh sound the most obvious candidates for separate bedrooms. Nobody, night owl or lark should be woken to hear about other's dreams even if they are sleep talking .

I used to be a night owl before having DS. Now DH will happily stay up until 3am and moans about me going to be early, I wonder who gets up at 6 everyday, and who lies in bed sleeping because they're a nIgHt OwL? I don't think it matters as long as it's not negatively affecting anyone else, in this case it is really irritating and selfish.

I don't think one is better than the other but I am glad that both DH and I are early birds! It really helps being on the same page. I'd struggle to live with a night owl.

When we were first married every weekend my dh would persuade me to get up early(ish) because its such a waste of time to lie in bed all morning. Then he would sit around all day in his dressing gown watching tv. That didn't last long.

@giantangryrooster (very appropriate name for me this morning, by the way!) - that's a whole other story.

The spare room bed is covered in his crap. I suspect that this is in some part due to my saying I want it available at all times when this happens and he doesn't like the idea. If he just kept to broadly similar hours to when he's at work, there are no problems whatsoever - it's the I'M A NIGHT OWL, I'M TOO FUCKING SPECIAL TO GET UP WHEN NORMAL PEOPLE HAVE TO bollocks that's the issue.

I'm tempted to go and vacuum the bed right now, as he's now had more sleep than I get on a good night and I'm technically on my lunch break in five minutes, but I'd only be tempted to ram the metal pipe somewhere the beautiful, warm, glorious sun we have today don't shine. And it's a Miele, so the pipe would be expensive to replace.

@MitziK i get your dh, I'm afraid . I've always been a night owl (had to get up early when dc at home) now I'm menopausal and can't seem to fall asleep until 4 or later, if anyone thinks I should be awake at 9, I would be less than understanding (murderous).

But chuck him in the spare room, after a couple of days, I'm sure he will have tidied up enough to find a bed .

I wouldn't judge one as better than the other, though it is unfortunate when you marry your opposite

Loved the peasant stock comment! I’m going to tell all the smug larks it’s my aristocratic genes that make me night owl that should shut them up! In all seriousness though, larks are never told to just stay awake like night owls are told to just get up early, in fact night owls must be made of stronger stuff, to have no constantly fight our natural rhythm, we have no choice generally but to get up early if we are to function in normal society, imagine if larks were forced to stay awake 5 days a week, they would struggle as well.