Divorce and not working

[GLR19832011]

Hy there I would like advice please on going through a divorce and not working ? We have a joint tenancy 3 children. Has anybody been in this situation ? No judgment please

What income is your husband on?

What sort of advice would help. Do you have savings, what incomes do you have,age of dc, parental responsibilities.

Why would we judge!

It's really hard to get back in to the workplace when childcare for three has to be offset against what you'd earn!

Insist on him having the children half the week. That will free you up to work. You will be better off in the end because working is investing in to yourself.

Is he likely to baulk at the thought of taking 50% responsibility for the children?

Does he want you to accept 95% responsibility for the children but to give you as little maintenance as he can get away with so leaving you with no freedom to work and no money either?

Please fill us in!

It so depends.

You would be entitled to benefits op to help with accommodation costs and living expenses. In regards to work you would be expected to seek 16hours minimum if you're youngest child is of school age. My friend is going through a divorce and despite being at university part time to further a career she was told she needed 16 hours work, she has 3 dc . I'm not sure if the situation is different now due to the current situation op.

Thank you for your reply. I’ve just started on universal credits as a single parent

Sorry for mentioning being judged just going through it at the mo. I receive disability benefits for myself and kids. My ex and I have agreed for me to have kids. We just both want the house. And I can’t see how he would get it.

Also my ex is vulnerable because of cov19. Since we have agreed a divorce he has started going out. We have a type 1 daughter so what can I do ? Is there a law he is breaking ?

Sounds difficult for you. Do you both own the house and is there a mortgage. Who pays that now and who pays if he leaves. Have you looked at the online benefits calculator to exactly how much you can claim for yourself and dc including anything towards housing costs. How much will ex be paying in maintenance. Has he agreed you and dc can stay in the house or does he want to sell it. In what way is he vulnerable and is he on the shielded list. Is your dd a t1 diabetic.

If I get 95% of responsibility for the children how does the csa work ?

Council and private renters can also have joint tenancy

Thank you for your reply.
I claim a sickness benefit due to my health as I’m unable to work. We are in rented accommodation. Not sure on maintenance as this is all new to me. Yes husband should be shielding and we have a shielding type 1 daughter.

Unfortunately, it is not ilegal to choose not to shield yourself when you are vulnerable so although he is putting his child at risk, I don’t think you can do much about apart of shielding your child by separating the areas between what dad uses and the rest of the family does, which is impractical when sharing a kitchen and bathroom.

I would suggest getting legal advice to find out how you can fight to get him out of the tenancy (your landlord might need to agree to rent you on your own). Unfortunately, at this time, starting that sort of process can be very damaging as neither of you has too much freedom to go elsewhere and give each other some wide berth.

I would do all the research and draft a plan but wouldn’t share with him until things are clears with this CV19 malarkey.

Would I have to pay for a divorce? And a solicitor? I have no savings. Thank you for your reply

www.gov.uk/housing-benefit

On the.gov website there's information on fee reduction and waiver for divorce. Cheapest option is to wait 2 years and file online, even if you cannot get a few waiver it costs £550 (we are paying half each). You will be eligible for help with rent but if you can get council accommodation it is more secure, waiting time depends on where you live.

www.gov.uk/calculate-child-maintenance

You don't need to use a solicitor, I'm not, they cost a fortune and there's no need to use one with online filing

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/ending-a-relationship/if-you-were-living-together/what-happens-to-your-home-when-you-separate/

Maybe you could try and speak to your LL or the citizens advice, would it be better if you could ask about housing associations who might be able to help.

Are you renting from a private landlord or council/housing association?

It depends, to be honest you don’t need to go via solicitors/court if you can sort it between you. If you both become entrenched you may need to go to court and that could be very expensive and may be not worth the expense (both in terms of finance and emotional costs).

If you qualify for legal aid you may get help for free. I believe there is a calculator in direct.gov. Uk that can tell you if you qualify. Otherwise you can choose mediation to get to an agreement and have it formalised by court (mediators only charge a fee based on your income, so the less you earn the less you pay. I would try to get an agreement via mediation first, in fact, courts may ask for you to go through mediation before agreeing to give your case space in court. But if he is violent/controlling/you have concerned about your DD getting infected with cv due to his carelessness, it may be better to go straight for a court application.

Try to get your post moved to the Legal topic, there are quite a good number of very generous solicitors in mumsnet who can give you some very good reasonable advice on where to start.

If you don’t have any assets then it’s really just child access and maintenance
Maintenance will be based on his earnings, number of children and average number of nights the children stay with him
Look on the cms calculator and work it out
Unlikely to get spousal unless he’s a very high earner

Do you have any assets together? I'f not its sorting out cm which you can contact the child maintenance services which is separate from you're universal credit which is all you're benefits rolled into one. You can get a divorce and costs 500 pounds for the court charges or I think you can wait 2 years and officially part ways for free.