Is this story beautiful or sad (or a bit creepy)?

[LadyRenoir]

I recently caught up with a friend. She told me a story which I keep on thinking about... Her mum attended a 30 year high school reunion.
Towards the end of the evening a guy came up to her and asked her if she was such and such, X Maiden Name. She said she was.
He then proceeded to tell her than 30 years ago he was madly in love with her from afar, but never mustered the courage to ask her. He was planning to ask her to go to prom with him, but again, was too afraid to come and talk to her (they were in different classes) and so never got to do it. So after the graduation he never saw her again until the reunion.

He then said that he also got married and had kids, but every day for the past 30 years he had been waking up regretting never speaking to friend's mum and imagining how his life would be different if he was braver, and how he pretty much had been miserable and unhappy waking up next to a woman he didnt love every morning. For 30 years.

And then he walked away.

At first we both thought awww, so romantic, to have someone who would love you so much even if they didnt really know wach other. But then I thought it's so sad that this man has spent the last 30 years pretty much regretting not speakign to someone that maybe/possibly would not be the right match, and how sad for his family to always be 'second best'...

That’s quite a mental load to dump on her Mum. Just about ok until the ‘thinking about her every day’ bit, which is too much.

How can you love someone like that when you don’t even know them? He was in love with the idea of her. That’s not love.

Thats a real life version of the facebook messages people get when an old flame/classmate/colleague is bored in their marriage and wants a fling to spice their life up a bit so look for women from their past.

It's not romantic, it's weird, intrusive and creepy.

If he'd thought about her occasionally over the years and had thought "if only..." but then moved on then that would have been ok.

Every day sounds a bit odd. I certainly wouldn't want to be his wife!!

Is it in America? "High School" and "Prom" thirty years ago?

Well he obviously didn't even know the girl, let alone the woman she became.
He created an idea of her based on his ideal imaginary woman.
He thought about his ideal woman every day. Not her.
I feel very, very sorry for his wife.

Very sad, but also a bit creepy. I understand looking back at your senior school self and feeling a bit regretful over things you missed out on due to low confidence, but to just dump something like that on someone after 30 years? Good grief.
I hope the Mum of your friend is glad he didn't have the confidence to ask her out. Yikes.

@Clawdy that was my first thought! Thirty years ago, did we use the terms prom, graduation and high school? (Maybe high school, I don’t know.) I’m nearly 40 and these sound very American.

Well the first part would have been a sweet anecdote.

The second made it immensely creepy.

@clawdy @Gorgeouslady of wrestling
It is quite obviously in the US. Why is that so surprising? There are lots of US posters on MN.

Part of me would feel flattered until i think to myself "oh if only u know i have a bad temper and cant be arsed with BS, you wouldnt have spent 30yrs thinking about me"

I feel sorry for the wife, he wasnt brave enough to walk up to the mum then, wasnt brave enough to tell the wife... He's just a coward

Completely agree @MarieQueenofScots

It does sound a bit like the premise of Last Tango in Halifax though which I loved!

Creepy and childish. Not a mature way to behave. If he was interested in her, he should have gone about it in an appropriate way, not dumped that on her and walked off.

I feel bad for the unloved wife of 30 years. This man sounds like he never emotionally matured beyond 14! Bloody weird....

Yes I agree, it’s one thing to say that you really used to fancy someone at school, but another to tell them they’d dreamed of them every day for 30 years and think their life would’ve been so much different with them! Awkward!!

I suspect it's bollocks he's made up to make himself sound more interesting.

I am the same age and we had a "Leavers' Party". If I were to refer to it now I might call it the prom as it's more well-known as a term. FWIW it's creepy.

A lot creepy.

Yes got to USA in the UK 30 years ago we had a disco with the tuck shop open for the evening selling crisps and pop.

Anyway, weirdly a similar thing happened to me recently although an ex work colleague from 17/18 years ago, he is also married and I had to block all contact, it all got very awkward.

Creepy

I wouldn't say creepy exactly, he just seems like the type of person who will never be happy with what he has.

These things seem romantic in movies and things, but if you're actually faced with them in real life, not so much.

Clearly this is a US story that has been retold. I think there has been some exaggeration - but fundamentally the guy is a sad individual that has wasted the opportunity of life, to live and enjoy it to the best and furthermore he has dragged his wife into a lie for his own selfish needs to have a 'wife'.
I see plenty of these kind of individuals in the world - they won't do the difficult internal work of dealing with their own demons and drag others down because of it...

@Clawdy Not US actually, I am not a native English speaker, but I guess I learned American English when in high/secondary school, and we do have proms as well! :)

Bit over dramatic I'd say. Fair enough if he'd had the odd fleeting thought about her occasionally, but to say he's been miserable for the last 30 years is crazy. They might not have ever hit it off. Think he should have kept his mouth shut.

His poor wife. He’s a weird creepy fantasist.