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Original poster

Mother-in-law wearing white at the wedding

88 replies

Sweetener12 · 15/05/2020 05:38

Yesterday I saw an article about the photographer being told to re-color MIL's dress in the wedding pictures because this lady wore white. While the photographer did a good job repainting it, I thought of what would I do if my future MIL would wear something like that. I'd probably had a good talk with her after all... but I appreciate the idea of re-painting the dress in the photos, haha! What would you do?

Mother-in-law wearing white at the wedding

OP posts:

SierraHotel · 15/05/2020 08:49

My Sister in law wore a white trouser suit to my wedding. I couldn't have cared less but a few other guests did comment on it to me during the day.

Selfsettling3 · 15/05/2020 08:53

What’s wrong with a trouser suit?

RandomMess · 15/05/2020 09:10

I can't believe people pointing it out to the bride, why needlessly potentially upset someone... sure if the Bride mentions it fair enough to comment.

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General style & beauty

ChesterDraw · 15/05/2020 09:28

Both my SIL wore white to my wedding. They'd actually called me to ask what colours to avoid. I said the wedding party colours were pink, so avoid that if poss, and obviously white/cream. Wedding day, one SIL shows up in a pure, gleaming white trouser suit with a pink shirt and pink shoes, the other wore a huge puffy white 50s style dress with big pink flowers all over it. I didn't notice it much at the time, but friends commented afterwards how weird they looked and in the pics they do look odd.

BlingLoving · 15/05/2020 09:56

I was always told no white or black to a wedding. I'm marginally more relaxed about it now but do find it bizarre when extended family members turn up wearing what is basically a wedding dress. I also struggle still with people wearing little black dresses with no colour to break it up. I once wore a polka dot dress with white background and black and grey dots. I still worry sometimes that it was a bit too black/white for a wedding.

But then, my mum was quite old fashioned and also a bit superstitious too - I still find baby showers tricky as my mum believed it was bad luck to give baby presents before baby was born. She more or less came round to the idea of a baby shower later in her life but it wasn't in her comfort zone!

iklboo · 15/05/2020 10:07

My mum wore a black & gold outfit to our wedding. She looked fab. I helped her choose it.

Frownette · 15/05/2020 10:13

One of my friends told me off quite resolutely because I said I was going to wear a pink and white dress to her wedding. NO YOU CAN'T WEAR ANYTHING WITH WHITE

I just obeyed and went out and bought a a different dress as I had to do a speech, still remember knees knocking together as 200 people.

I didn't know it was such a thing before then

Somanysocks · 15/05/2020 10:17

I had no idea you shouldn't wear black, I wore black to a wedding and got a lift in one of the cars, the chauffeur asked if I was the bride . It wasn't anything special, just a nice on the knee length dress.

Oldraver · 15/05/2020 10:18

My SIL if sorts wore this to my other SIL's wedding, I know she doesn't like her but I wouldn't of done it.

I did ask the brides Mum about it, but she said she hadn't really noticed and wasn't aware it was considered rude, so not sure if it was a regional thing. Certainly would of been frowned on where I come from

Makegoodchoices · 15/05/2020 10:22

Mine did. She also made a point of telling people that it was the second time she’d worn the dress that summer - we aren’t special enough for a first wear! It was linen and looked creased and messy. She looks rubbish in the photos and regrets it now!

It’s usually the mother in law or the person who is getting married next and is feeling the bride vibe!

StCharlotte · 15/05/2020 10:23

Didn't the Queen wear white to one of the recent Royal Weddings? Although to be fair, she's going to upstage anyone. And the Duchess of Cambridge has worn some suspiciously pale wedding outfits. Just saying

pooopypants · 15/05/2020 10:40

My auntie wore white to our wedding. The only thing I noticed at the time that her shapewear was far too tight around the arse.

The funniest part is that I got married in red (she wasn't aware of this beforehand) so she just looked like a twat

eaglejulesk · 15/05/2020 10:42

I wouldn't care less if my MIL, or anyone else, wore white to my wedding. In fact I think mine did wear off white/cream and my dress was cream. So what?

Boulevardofbrokendreams82 · 15/05/2020 10:47

My sister in law wore an Ivory dress but it was a short length and actually I didnt think anything of it until a couple friends after the wedding mentioned it but it still didn't bother me!!

Vellum · 15/05/2020 10:50

Honestly, I think all this histrionic guff about 'upstaging the bride on her Special Day' by wearing white must come from the kind of human tragedies who've been planning their Dream Weddings since the age of eight and have very little else going on in their lives. You're the one getting married. Do you actually need to be the physical focal point of everything all day? Do you think that women who don't wear white to get married in worry about whether they dominate the photographs appropriately, or whether the photographer has just been following a random guest in a white or cream dress about all day under the impression she's the bride?

Zaphodsotherhead · 15/05/2020 10:53

I've always worn black to weddings because I really only own one 'nice posh' dress and it's trotted out for weddings and funerals. Wear a red jacket usually for the weddings and a black one for funerals.

People must have a lot of disposable income to buy a new frock for every event!

Herpesfreesince03 · 15/05/2020 10:57

What a knob. Funny that she’s closed a dress she looks hideous in tho

Connie222 · 15/05/2020 11:02

My ex MIL wore black and cried (not happy tears).

The cow was dressed for a funeral, black veil and everything.

Dopplebangerz · 15/05/2020 11:07

A woman I know(used to be very good friends but I got fed up of the constant competition) wore a white Coast dress to a wedding. I still liked her at the time but was a bit 😳 when I saw her. Looking back, it doesn’t surprise me in the slightest that she did that. Very ‘look at me’!

Whenitsmytimeitllhappen · 15/05/2020 11:15

My own mother had to be talked out of wearing white to my wedding. She ended up wearing a low cut dress which pushed her already large chest up, it was like the Mitchell brothers had been invited too. No one could speak to her properly all day as all they could see was Phil and Grant.....

GorgeousLadyofWrestling · 15/05/2020 11:30

My MIL wore a pale cream, lace mini dress to my wedding. I didn’t actually mind because she was usually an incredibly kind and thoughtful woman so I was confident there was no malice in it. She was also in a very controlling relationship with an abusive man. She’d lost a ton of weight and looked unwell so the best option was to give her a cuddle, tell her I loved her and say I was glad she came.

Iwalkinmyclothing · 15/05/2020 11:32

I didn't care what people wore to my wedding. My MIL wasn't there, I've never met the woman. But if anyone other than me had worn a wedding dress type outfit I'd just have laughed at them anyway. I was very chilled about my wedding, I wanted to marry DH, I really couldn't have cared less about all the other stuff and only had a wedding to keep my DM happy.

Ginfordinner · 15/05/2020 11:39

TBH I wouldn't have cared if my MIL had worn white. I was 22 and slim when I got married, and MIL was 52 and plump. I would have upstaged her anyway.

Shw wouldn't have worn white anyway. She was a lovely lady, and became like a surrogate mum to me after my mum died.

BlingLoving · 15/05/2020 11:46

I'm not sure I'd consider most brides needing to be concerned about being upstaged. I certainly didn't. But I DO think it's odd when people wear dresses that very easily COULD be a wedding dress to someone else's wedding. It's just odd. And a bit rude.

BIL's DD was a flower girl at our wedding so he knew what the flower girls were wearing. His girlfriend at the time had a similar aged daughter and both came to the wedding. I found it strange that the GF's daughter was wearing a similar dress to niece but can't say it particularly bothered me . A couple of people did ask me if she was also a flower girl and I just said no (i mean, they should have figured that out as she didn't walk down the aisle, but whatever).

sunnie1992 · 15/05/2020 11:58

My mum, after I chose my wedding dress, told me it made me look fat.

Then whisked me and two family friends off to Italy to choose her mother of the bride outfit - which was white, floor length, with flowers on; cost 50% more than my wedding dress had cost...

I was so used to the behaviour I didn't even query it 🙈😂

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