Just seen this posted by a Maths Teacher on Facebook... and he has a PhD in Maths, so should be a whizz at reading stats (I would have thought).
Not my words!
“Good news son, you get to go back to school!”
“Oh great, so the germs are gone?”
“Ummmm yeah, pretty much... I mean technically there’s more deaths per day than there was when they closed the school... but I’m sure it’s fine.”
“I can’t wait to play with my friends!”
“Well yeah, you might see some of your friends, but you won’t be able to touch them or play with them.”
“Why?”
“Because of the germs.”
“But there aren’t any germs now?!”
“Right....but there might be... so you can’t go close to your friends.”
“Oh well, at least I’ll see them.”
“Well, you might not see them all because you might not all be in the same classroom.”
“Oh, but I’ll be in my classroom though right?”
“Well you might not be because you’ll have to spread out a bit.”
“Spread out to where?”
“To the other classrooms.”
“But won’t the other classes be in their rooms?”
“No the other classes won’t be there.”
“Why?”
“Because of the germs.”
“But why am I the only one going back?”
“Ummm..... because you’re small and you can spread out more?... because you don’t take up so much space?!?.... honestly no one knows mate.”
“Oh well, at least I’ll see my teacher... but wait...Mum how will my teacher be in all the classrooms at once?”
“Well, you might not have your teacher.”
“Who will I have?”
“I don’t know...”
“Oh.... if I’m going back to school can we go and get my new school shoes? Remember you said I would have to get new shoes because my feet have grown?!”
“Right... yeah... it’s not safe to open the shops so we can’t get shoes.”
“But it is safe for me to go to school?”
“Yep, maybe... unless there’s a spike in the virus, then we might have to stay home again.”
“How will they know if there’s a spike in the virus though Mum?”
“Hospital admissions... and number of deaths.”
“But what if I’ve already got it by then, from going to school?”
“Well you probably won’t die because you’re young.”
“Do children not die then?”
“Most of them don’t.”
“But grownups do?”
“Some, yes.”
“So what about my teacher?”
“........?”
“Mum is it ok if I don’t go back to school? It doesn’t sound like it’s the right time yet”
“Yes mate that’s fine, you’re right, let’s stay home”