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Do you know of any (diagnosed) aspergers who are "popular" socially?

51 replies

howow · 12/05/2020 00:40

Do you know of any (diagnosed) aspergers who are "popular" socially?
Not just have a few friends but lots. If so, I'd love to hear such stories :)

OP posts:
FortunesFave · 12/05/2020 01:45

Yes...I have a friend, a woman who is extraordinarily clever and witty. She's a professional writer (television) and she has a wide social circle and is always in demand.

She's funny as hell.

ElizabethMainwaring · 12/05/2020 01:53

My dad is definitely on the spectrum (not diagnosed) and he is very popular.
He's not particularly sociable, he likes his own company, but people really like him. He is very polite and interesting.

IncyWincyGrownUp · 12/05/2020 03:02

My youngest. Life and soul of shenanigans, autistic as all hell. He’s lucky that he’s charming and likes people. His older brother doesn’t have the same skill set, but does have a small group of people he considers friends.

Zoflorabore · 12/05/2020 03:11

Yes! My 17yr old ds. Diagnosed with Aspergers aged 8.

After a rocky start to secondary school where he was bullied for the first time in his life, he started at a new school at the end of year 7, end of June.

He made friends with so many people. He has a group of 10ish very close friends who do pretty much everything together.
They all adore him. He has never held back about his AS and is such a lovely kid it’s hard not to like him.

He has also made new friends since starting sixth form college and often worries about doing things with new friends as if he’s being disloyal to the others. He made a very close friend at football and they’re now talking of going to Australia next year for their 18th birthdays Grin

My ds seems to be the one that arranges things for the group, they all did restaurant meals for their 16th birthdays and ds arranged the cakes. At home he’s pretty at life skills!

Zoflorabore · 12/05/2020 03:12

Should say pretty rubbish at life skills

Soon2BeMumof3 · 12/05/2020 03:25

Yep, some of the most awesome people I know are autistic adults. I think a lot of it is about finding the right environment. I work in a very focused and disciplined field and it seems to be an environment in which people with certain autistic traits really thrive.

SebThompson · 12/05/2020 03:33

My older brother (25) has Aspergers, he never really had many friends in school etc, maybe a handful he would interact with at school. Never had a partner.

I'm not sure if this counts but he is well into his strategy games and always has been, he started collecting Yu-Gi-Oh cards as a teenager and joined a club at the local games workshop, where he made a few friends, but when it shut down he went back to being a recluse in his room, but started playing computer strategy games online, he's really good at what he plays and s few games is in the high ranked clans and is on leaderboards his self. He has made many friends through these games although they are onljne, he's met a few more locally, but made a bunch in places like America and he voice chats on his computer every night. Which makes me happy that he is making friends and does well with communicating with them. Just a shame he struggles with interactions in person due to his condition

howow · 12/05/2020 10:59

Thanks a lot everyone so far. Interesting that most popular aspies mentioned here are males.

OP posts:
MsMeNz · 12/05/2020 11:02

My eldest. He is super social and popular and formally diagnosed. He does get into fights now and then though. He struggles with other aspects more such as black and white thinking, not understanding nuisance and a few special interests amongst other things. But he's oddly gifted at sports so goes down well with the lads.

howow · 13/05/2020 22:25

Thanks :)

OP posts:
Lordfrontpaw · 13/05/2020 22:25

(My sister...🤫)

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 13/05/2020 22:29

My Mum is on the spectrum. She's quite popular although it took her into her 40's to find her "tribe".
She's very sweet with absolutely no "side" to her and eventually she was able to find people who valued that.
DS is in the process of getting diagnosed. He will tell you he has no friends but, as far as I can tell, is very popular at school. He just doesn't recipricate Grin.
Not in an unkind way- he just likes his own company and doing things on his own terms.

Christmastree43 · 13/05/2020 22:35

My friend who I met through work and is also on my sports team. She is very quiet and unassuming but also a great (dry) laugh, very self assured. She plays loads of sports and gets involved in all the nights out, she's not the centre of attention on a night out but is always in the middle of and part of the group. She's also a big organiser which helps Smile I think she's amazing!

She also has a great career, owned her own home at 26, has had no trouble in the love department (one very long relationship ended around 18m ago, now in another with someone who is an absolute life and soul of the party type), is very good at and involved in sport and has a great social circle, including from uni (before I met her), sports teams I don't play, sports teams I'm do play in, from the place of work we met (she's since left). She's organised a few Zoom calls during corona for us all Smile

DefConOne · 13/05/2020 22:35

My DD aged 12 ASD diagnosis would have been Aspergers. Very difficult but very funny and charming. She a few very close friends but makes friends very easily everywhere she goes. Always on her terms and she needs down time after any socialising.

Binge · 13/05/2020 22:41

My best friend, he was diagnosed as a child and has many, many friends. He's very clever, witty, reliable, generous, fun, really kind and fiercely loyal. It takes him time to warm to people but most people like him very quickly.

TrainspottingWelsh · 13/05/2020 22:56

Yes, a late teen girl in dc's friendship group, we've known her since she was a toddler. From my outside view, some of her blunter comments and black & white thinking come across as confidence. Nothing I've ever heard of or witnessed has involved anything that could be interpreted as rude or overly rigid, and she isn't loud, forceful or outspoken about it, so it gives the impression she's a confident none conformist happy to share her opinion whether it's popular or not. And because of this it also gives the impression she couldn't care whether she's popular or not, which also attracts people.

Also a colleague that would have many friends and wider popularity if he had the remotest interest in social activities or pursuing friendships. But he's a very content introvert and doesn't see any need for more than a tiny handful of friends and a wider group of casual acquaintances ideally with the minimum of contact.

JanMeyer · 13/05/2020 23:52

I assume you mean people diagnosed with Aspergers? None of us are Aspergers, your title is more than a little reductive. Do you go around calling other disabled people by their condition? You can be autistic, you can have Aspergers, autism or ASD. No-one can be Aspergers.
Why do you want to know anyway?

My dad is definitely on the spectrum (not diagnosed).

How do you "definitely" know he's autistic if he doesn't have a diagnosis? Without that you can suspect he is but what qualifies you to say he "definitely" is? I know that'll come across as snippy but i don't care anymore, I'm sick of people self diagnosing themselves and their relatives with autism.

ElizabethMainwaring · 14/05/2020 05:27

JanMayer
I do know. My grand father who died a few years ago aged 100 was as well.
Sorry that I offended you. But I do know. I don't need to go into my family's history to a load of strangers on the internet.

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/05/2020 05:34

Is this for you or someone else?

My mum despairs that my brother doesn't have enough friends or socialise. He doesn't want to. He has more than enough people, he just isn't sociable.

I made my friend be my friend. Basically forced him. He's just getting the idea he's on the spectrum (no diagnosis but his DD's diagnosis has made him think). He has lots of friends. Even though he can be a right Eeyore.

ElizabethMainwaring · 14/05/2020 13:03

@JanMeyer
Oh, and I should have mentioned that I'm an experienced SEN Teacher too.
So one would hope that know a thing or two about ASC.

Lynda07 · 14/05/2020 13:14

Yes I do, I'm thinking of one person in particular who is on the spectrum. He's a little eccentric and very single minded but he has very good friends and socialises well when in the mood, including being very hospitable. When he goes off on one though, eg has a bee in bonnet about a particular subject, it can be a bit much.

Lockdown, working from home, suits him well at the moment; his usual work takes him all over the place and he absolutely loves being in his own home, feels he is now becoming the person he was always meant to be (his words). (As a child he was known as 'nutty prof'. ) That will of course change when lockdown ends, he'll have to readjust.

People with Asperger's do vary tremendously though, some are more obviously so than others and do lack social skills, however they can learn. I have a good friend, a woman, who is like that, she's lovely but definitely 'different'. I also knew a man many years ago and he was far from lovely, had little or no insight, but that's another story.

All part of life's rich tapestry, how boring the world would be if we were all the same.

JanMeyer · 14/05/2020 13:21

Oh, and I should have mentioned that I'm an experienced SEN Teacher too.

Hah, that's hilarious given how many SEN teachers are so convinced they are endowed with special powers to decide who is and isn't autistic. So forgive me if i don't bow down to your special SEN teacher knowledge. But I've met many a SEN teacher talk absolute bullshit about autism, so excuse me if i don't recognise your special diagnostic powers. Tell me what part of your SEN teacher training covered diagnosing people?
Because last time i checked you needed a medical degree for that.
You're the one who's self diagnosing family members, don't expect people not to challenge that. Tell me, what other disabilities and conditions do you think it's fine for people to self diagnose? Because i don't consider self diagnosis to be valid. The internet is full of people who decide they're autistic because they're a bit socially awkward and quirky.

irregularegular · 14/05/2020 13:27

I had a casual friend who I lost touch with, then bumped into her a few years later. She told me she had been diagnosed with Aspergers. I have to admit I was very surprised. She gave the impression of being popular, confident, sociable and having plenty of friends. However, I didn't know her very well - mainly through boards like this in fact!

irregularegular · 14/05/2020 13:29

Sorry, should clarify. I had met her quite a few times in "real life" as well. Including parties and other social events at her house and mine. Otherwise it would obviously be possible to maintain a very different image online

rosiepony · 14/05/2020 13:32

Yes, my dentist. He’s funny and gorgeous and I dated him for a while.