My son is 13 but mentally much younger. He is very feminine and not a stereotypical boy, he has enjoyed dressing up as a girl in the past, having his make-up and nails done etc......I have never encouraged or discouraged this behaviour because I just want him to be who he wants to be. His friends love him and totally embrace this with him.
My friends and family are always commenting on him saying he is going to be gay and quite often say this in ear shot of him.
I am perfectly happy if he is Gay, it doesn't bother me one way or another but I do worry about people labelling him before he has had chance to make his own mind up about things and influencing his decision. He is only 13 and has always maintained he doesn't have feelings for either gender ( I don't feel like he should have to justify it, I think people should butt out of it) I want him to enjoy being a kid and not be worrying about if he likes girls or boys.
So this evening I overheard him saying to a friend on the phone that he liked a boy a while back. After he had finished the call I had a chat with him and he said "everyone keeps saying I'm gay"
So my response was that maybe he shouldn't label it, that he is at an age where he will have all sorts of feelings about both girls and boys and they are totally normal. I told him that when I was a teenager i experimented and kissed girls because of those feelings and that is ok but I now know ultimately I like boys. I said he should ignore what other people say to him and about him, be true to himself and given time he would understand which way he felt. I asked him if he wanted a relationship yet and he was like ewww no. So I said, why do you need to label yourself. Just enjoy being a kid. I reiterated that I don't care if he loves boys, girls or teddybears. That I love him no matter what. We had a cuddle and he was his usual happy self.
I am going to speak to t friends and family and reiterate that comments about his sexuality are not welcome and to stop it. (I have said this many times before in the past and people listen for a while and then start doing it again)
I don't know if I dealt with my son very well. Like I said, I don't care what he is as long as he is happy. I just don't want him making a decision like that because other people have drummed it into him that that is what he is. It's like telling a child they are naughty- eventually they conform to the label.