For a bit of background my 18 year old niece came to stay with us before Christmas and she decided to have a break and leave college until next September. We’ve told her she’s welcome to stay with us as long as she wants. She ended up getting a job and started to pay “rent” of £100 a month which I have just been putting in savings for her. She is still working but only part time at the moment.
She’s had a bit of a rough time recently and me and DH have just tried our best to make her feel welcome. My sister (her mum) isn’t too happy that she has decided to stay with us for so long but it’s entirely up to her and we’ve just been going along with what she wants.
She has her own room here but with lockdown I’ve been worried that she hasn’t got enough of her own space. We’re really lucky that the previous owners of our house made the garage and outhouse in to a bit of a granny flat. There is space in there for a double bed, bedroom furniture, a tv, a little desk and a 2 seater couch. It also has an ensuite with a shower and it’s own front door with just a normal door in to the kitchen. DH has been using it as his office but suggested yesterday that we decorate it and let our niece move in there. He would then move his office in to the spare bedroom where there is space for his desk, another desk for if his colleague comes over and a little couch. He did have plans for the garage to make it in to more of a games room type thing but he said that he’d rather she use it for now.
I think it’s a good idea but I don’t want to overstep. DH mentioned her living here (and us two ganging up on him)the other week and she responded positively by saying she didn’t realise she properly lived here and it was cool.
We had a little chat about her future before lockdown and she said she wasn’t sure if she wanted to go back to college and she wanted to maybe do an apprenticeship or work for a year then do an access course to get in to uni if she still wanted to go. But everything is a bit up in the air at the moment so we can’t really plan properly.
I want to make sure she feels like she can have a home with us but don’t want to cause more problems with her mum or dad. She has 2 younger sisters and had the smallest room at her mums and couldn’t have friends over because of space. At her dads she had her own room but when her dad had another baby she was moved to the smaller room as she was 16 and "didn’t need" the bigger room anymore. I don’t want it to seem like we are taking over. We’re really lucky to have all this extra space and I don’t want my sister to feel like I’m bragging or trying to take over as her mum. I also don’t want my niece to think we’re trying to parent her and treat her like a kid.
Does it sound like we’re taking over / over stepping or anything like that at all?