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Original poster

How to say sorry....your house smells

51 replies

Soubriquet · 03/05/2020 15:28

My Nan keeps pressuring me to bring the dc round to see her (once lockdown has finished)

She used to drive and would collect them every Saturday but recently got rid of her car.

She also moved a few months ago with brand new carpets and everything. However, the house absolutely stinks of dog wee. It is smack in your face stink to the point where after 10 mins, it’s stuck to your clothes and you have to wash them and shower Envy

She has 3 dogs and 3 cats and before she moved, it was never this bad.

She has her son living with her so it’s not the case if she can’t clean up.

Dd is also allergic to cats which can set off her asthma, but when I point this out, she just says “but she used to sleep over before”

But before, the cats didn’t go upstairs, the house was bigger and there was hard wood floor.

Now she’s in a bungalow, there’s carpet everywhere and the cats all moult.

I know she will take offence if I say the dc can’t come round because of the cat hair. She doesn’t believe dd suffers that bad Hmm

But the house smells that badly, I can’t let my dc go round there.

If I suggest meeting out of the house, she won’t like that either.

How do I say “sorry nan, my kids can’t come round” in a way that doesn’t upset her?

OP posts:
TenCornMaidens · 03/05/2020 15:31

It isn't your fault if she doesn't 'believe in' allergies? You can't make an allergic child visit a house that affects them so badly. It is cruel.

HermioneWeasley · 03/05/2020 15:32

Unfortunately your DDs allergies have got worse with age (which is common)

It’s cruel to expose a child to allergens

Breastfeedingworries · 03/05/2020 15:33

You can’t visit anyway because of lock down? Confused

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Original poster
Soubriquet · 03/05/2020 15:34

I know. She points out too that we have a cat, which we do. But we have 1 and my dh is strict with cleaning up. He’s allergic too but is ok as long as the house is clean which it is. Cat also isn’t allowed in dd’s bedroom.

OP posts:
Original poster
Soubriquet · 03/05/2020 15:35

I did say when lockdown was finished..it’s in the first sentence

OP posts:
Timeforredwine · 03/05/2020 15:36

I think you need to have a word with her son and maybe he can sort things out or could you not go round and help as well or ask her to yours instead.

OhioOhioOhio · 03/05/2020 15:38

I don't think you can. Unless you pretended to try and clean it and gently explained it to her that way?

mencken · 03/05/2020 15:42

say what you've said here. Facts aren't rude. The person on the receiving end of the facts may not like them (common MN and indeed real world manager problem) but that still doesn't make them rude.

all houses with dogs in smell anyway, although not normally this bad. Dog owners just block it out. The cat hair allergy is also irrefutable.

if she is of normal mental capacity she'll just have to suck it up. Or clean up. How skanky.

Original poster
Soubriquet · 03/05/2020 15:43

I don’t think cleaning will help....it smells like the carpet has been saturated with pee. It’s that strong.

Plus two of her cats are very long coated, one is extremely friendly and will butt you trying to get attention. She’s gorgeous but one stroke had hair everywhere.

The other two (one long coat, one short coat) will avoid you.

OP posts:
Bluetrews25 · 03/05/2020 15:47

You sure it's dog wee? Confused

Original poster
Soubriquet · 03/05/2020 15:48

Well, it’s animal in nature for sure

I can’t say if it’s dog or cat but it’s one of the two

OP posts:
Louise91417 · 03/05/2020 15:57

Sounds like its more cat pee, which is worst smell ever and cant be shifted..Hmm

KenzoBaby · 03/05/2020 15:58

OP, I think Blue is hinting that your DGM maybe suffering from incontinence and too embarrassed to get help?

Original poster
Soubriquet · 03/05/2020 16:00

Yeah I got that Grin

She does wear tena ladies, but it isn’t her that smells. It’s the actual house

OP posts:
BasilDiffuser · 03/05/2020 16:01

I wouldn’t worry about it. Lockdown is going to be lasting a long, long time yet.

ladyhummingbee · 03/05/2020 16:07

Could you talk to her live in son about it or perhaps your parents? Either way it is not healthy for your dd, so perhaps suggest you meet up in her garden or you can bring her to yours? Tell her allergies worsen when too much exposure.

KenzoBaby · 03/05/2020 16:17

Oh yes cat pee is the worst. The Kenzo of my username ruined a lovely mint coloured leather Fossil handbag of mine. Even special cat-pee remover products didn't work. Well they did until the handbag got warm eg in the car on a sunny day then the smell hit you in the face again! She only ever did it that once though and she is really cute so I have forgiven her!

TheNoodlesIncident · 03/05/2020 16:18

You can be allergic to cats in general but develop a resistance, so to speak, to the one in your house. Especially as you restrict access to some rooms, which is sensible.

I don't know about dog wee tbh but cat wee stinks worse than anything. My living room carpet is foul from cat wees from when our cat was bullied by the other cat and not allowed access to the litter tray. I regularly use HG Strong Stench Eliminator which works for a while but the smell gradually comes back. The cat isn't doing fresh wees, these are historic, but it just. will. not. go! I'm thinking I'll need new underlay, carpet and probably possibly floorboards. Or just get posh vinyl that looks like nice wood, just in case of any other mishaps.

I would do as PP have suggested, broach it with the other adult in the house. It can't have passed them by surely? They will have a bit more clout in suggesting a change in flooring or similar.

TheMotherofAllDilemmas · 03/05/2020 16:24

I would stop going on the issue of asthma alone. Just mention that DC asthma is triggered by cat dander and that it has been getting worse lately so to keep things under control you would like her to come to you instead.

Beautiful3 · 03/05/2020 16:33

Just explain that her allergies to animals is now worse. Invite her over for a cream tea to spend the day with her (when this Is all over).

FizzyGreenWater · 03/05/2020 16:38

She doesn't have to believe that your DD suffers that bad - she just has to hear the words and realise THAT'S your decision.

dogsdinnerlady · 03/05/2020 16:42

Why are the animals weeing in the house? Can't they get outside? Not house-trained? That's the real problem.

TheMotherofAllDilemmas · 03/05/2020 16:46

why are the animals weeing in the house?

She has just moved houses, it is not unheard of animals to start soiling as a result of the upheaval of the move. Sadly, once cat wee has gone into the carpets of furniture it is difficult to remove.

georgialondon · 03/05/2020 16:48

@Breastfeedingworries you didn't even read the OP's first sentence Grin

macaroniandpizza · 03/05/2020 16:50

The last dog i had before i took on my relatives pup would pee in the house every day even if i left for 5mins. The carpet was stinking and i eventually had to rehome her as i couldnt hack her peeing all over the living room and over ds and i's things. I lifted the offending carpet and as soon as it was out the house the smell vanished. I now have laminate and what a difference it makes

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