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Original poster

If your baby is awake but not crying...

31 replies

mightym · 02/05/2020 07:13

In the morning, if your baby is awake, but you can see on the monitor they're just happy in their cot... do you leave them for a while or go get them up straight away?

OP posts:
RedLipsAndRosyCheeks · 02/05/2020 07:14

Definitely leave them. If they are happy there's no need to disturb them. Enjoy the peace!

Whitney101 · 02/05/2020 07:15

Depends on a few things. I don’t have a monitor so can’t see him, but DS (10 months) is happily chatting in his cot so I’ve not gone in yet. He usually starts banging when he wants me to go in (not a distressed banging of course!)

TheSkyWasDark · 02/05/2020 07:18

I always wonder about this.My baby is four months and will lie in his cot for hours if I let him, watching his hands, looking around, smiling...I'm never sure when I should pick him up, I don't want him to be lonely but I don't want to make him clingy either.

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mynameiscalypso · 02/05/2020 07:21

DS is 8 months. I leave him until he becomes too noisy for us to sleep (he's still in our room). At that point he usually wants to play so one of us will get up with him so the other can get a bit more sleep. If he was in his own room, I might be tempted to leave him a bit longer than that if he's happy and entertaining himself.

Thismummyruns · 02/05/2020 07:22

I leave until either it's time to get up or she starts getting humpy and lets us know she wants out.

hopefulhalf · 02/05/2020 07:23

Depends on the time. 5/6 am leave them alone. Gone 7 I would be going in to be honest so that they didn' t go back to sleep and would sleep tonight. Might make mysslf some tea 1st.

working5to9 · 02/05/2020 07:24

DC1 was always happy to lie there when she first woke up looking at things, "chatting" to the pictures on her wall and, from about 12mths, "reading" her books (which I'd put at the end of her cot when I went to bed)
Before DC2 had even fully opened his eyes, he'd be screaming and, even now, aged 7 , he wants company as soon as he wakes up.
If they're happy to lie there, let them!

Original poster
mightym · 02/05/2020 07:25

My 8mo has been awake for 40 mins and is just chatting, rolling, clapping, playing with comforter and looking around in her cot. Usually I go in after ten mins max of her being awake but wanted to see what would happen... ofcourse as soon as she seems unhappy I'd go in, I'm just so surprised at how long she's happy on her own for

OP posts:
iMatter · 02/05/2020 07:44

I'd say make the most of it! It's lovely they can keep themselves amused.

Mine used to wake up demanding instant entertainment, cuddles and milk/food....

Sipperskipper · 02/05/2020 08:12

God I’d leave her. Always have with DD, and now at 3 she will often lay singing in her bed for 30-45 minutes after she wakes up. It’s very sweet and I get to enjoy a coffee in relative peace!

Dilbertian · 02/05/2020 08:13

I always left mine to entertain themselves as long as they were contented. But because I wanted to 'reward' this self-sufficient behaviour, I would go to them before they got bored or distressed. Benign neglect Smile

Ragwort · 02/05/2020 08:14

Absolutely leave them .... it’s a great thing if your baby can play happily in their cot and not demand attention.

october18 · 02/05/2020 08:17

My two year old still does this, helps himself to books and has a great wee party. In fact gets grumpy if you go in too soon 😂

Original poster
mightym · 02/05/2020 08:43

Ok great! I have to say it was nice just lying in bed for that extra time!!

OP posts:
sqirrelfriends · 02/05/2020 09:06

Leave her. I wish I'd done this with DS, it would have made life so much easier.

theseriousmoonlight · 02/05/2020 09:09

Did you leave her? My dd gets very annoyed if you try to get her up before she's ready. She's 2 now but had been like that since around 8 months. She likes to wake up properly slowly. Sometimes she sings to herself which is lovely but is also often very out of tune!

Original poster
mightym · 02/05/2020 09:13

@theseriousmoonlight haha aww that sounds sweet! Yes I ended up going in after 40-45 mins.. she wasn't even really fussing before I went in, but I didn't want to push my luck!

OP posts:
Poppinjay · 03/05/2020 09:18

You won't make babies clingy by picking them up when they aren't crying. That supports healthy brain development.

If they're happy to be left and you've got something better to do, like taking a few extra minutes in bed, leave them. If you want a cuddle or feel like they might want one, pick them up. No need to think of it as training.

Doobedoobedoobe2020 · 03/05/2020 09:23

Yup leave them if they’re happy. DD was happily chatting to herself and playing with her hands with morning so I had an extra half hour dozing. We often will leave her if she’s happy, no harm in her learning to amuse herself.

My sister would literally run into the room (not joking, she would sprint from the room) the second DN woke up from a nap, happy or not. They never left him on his own even for five minutes to play by himself, even if he was content, because they believed he needed constant interaction otherwise it’s neglect Hmm He’s four now and honestly has the worst separation anxiety ever and cannot be left by himself even for a second. I don’t think my sister has been able to have a wee by herself without him screaming since he was a baby.

Pertella · 03/05/2020 10:09

DD is now 15 months and has always been content to lie in her cot. In the before we would normally wake up around 6.30 but now its closer to 8 and she still hasnt complained.

thethoughtfox · 03/05/2020 10:27

Leave them. It was the best decision I ever made. My baby would wake up and babble for up to three hours before falling back asleep. It would have been hell if they weren't content and happy being awake in their cot on their own.

Dilbertian · 03/05/2020 14:00

That is really quite sad, Doobedoobe.

Poppinjay · 03/05/2020 16:21

@Doobedoobedoobe2020 that's horribly judgemental. That LO could easily have been just the same had he been parented very differently as a baby.

My two DDs were both parented the same and, like many siblings, they are polar opposites in that way.

Parents often become more enlightened when they get a less independent child following one who was a dream. They suddenly realise that they haven't got it nailed after all and it was pure luck that they had an easier baby previously.

20viona · 03/05/2020 16:26

I leave my 9 month old until 8.30 latest then get her up she will just play happily though until then.

Original poster
mightym · 05/05/2020 06:48

I've been leaving her for around 20 mins the last few mornings and she's been fine, I don't have an issue with when she's waking up as she always (touch wood it doesn't change) sleeps between 11-12 hours... it's just nice to be able to wake up slowly before getting her and starting a full day in lockdown with an 8mo!

I'm not sure I'd ever leave her for ages alone though, even if she seems fine. I'm not sure why....

@Doobedoobedoobe2020 It must be awful for the child to feel so anxious when alone, I wonder how much of that is linked to them not being left.

I always think when I wake up, the last thing I'd want is someone in my face/picking me up a minute later!

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