Is there ^anything^ at all a 2.5 and 4yo can do

[Coldhandscoldheart]

That will occupy them for a bit without making a metric fuckton of mess, or screaming and that isn’t a screen?
They paint sometimes, actually 4yo can do it for a while, but then will start painting each other or the furniture.
Or am I just expecting too much?

I have no fucking idea, but if I have to ‘bake’ or stick stuff to paper anymore I’m going to lose my mind!

I’ve been sticking Dd in the bath with poster paint and brushes and letting her ‘redecorate’. Best thing at the end is I can just shower her and the bath and stick her in pjs, so it negates that argument as well!

Duplo
'Paint' the wall outside with water

If your 4yo knows their picture books off by heart, they could ' read' them to the smaller one?

Dress up as mummy and WFH? (Old clothes and shoes of yours, a cardboard laptop??)

Water. Basin each and cups and small plastic animals. Still mess but a massive bath towel under each bowl helps.

Tea party? (Don’t hate me)

Kitchen disco

Fort with blankets and sofa cushions. I find if you get engineer-like about this so it’s actually strong and stable then it works quite well. Bonus points if you let them eat lunch in there!

Sorry, it’s hell and I don’t envy you at all

Get a cheap vinyl tablecloth as well - very handy to shove on the floor and stop the majority of mess. I give Dd bowls of water, spices, flour or oats and chia seeds and she spends ages mixing them and making ‘soup’.

Car tracks and see which car can "jump" furthest

Minibeast hunting outside

Playdoh

Ball pit
paddling pool on a nice day
Paint the fence with water
Chalk on patio stones
Marble maze
Sensory toys
Make a den with sheets and cushions and read books
Throwing socks into laundry basket like a game of netball, 2 year old can stand closer than 4 year old!
Cosmic kids yoga
Dance to music

Aquadraw!

WE’ve done some outside painting the wall, but perhaps we should revisit that
Unfortunately we’re in rented and the bath flicking stains! I found out when I put a painty child in. Took months to shift it.

Don’t know what’s wrong with me today, am stressy and shouty and oh my god, what are you up to NOW?!?
They seem to go through eleventy billion pieces of clothing a day, constantly need feeding, and always touching stuff! And me! Always touching me! Am all touched out!

Aqua mat sets? www.thetoyshop.com/arts-creative-play/drawing-painting/drawing-sets/Out-of-the-Box-Amazing-Aqua-Playmat/p/540938?gclid=CjwKCAjwqJ_1BRBZEiwAv73uwBzAqEblc5WcXaykkuzic-DakpcUcDQzx9scAexZrmCc0gsug4YqLhoC7LMQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

Yes. I need a new list. You know when your mind just goes a bit blank.

I’ve got no idea but I’m sure any minute there will be someone along with a hundred ideas that actually makes a load of mess and lasts 5 minutes and makes you feel like you’re uncreative, unimaginative and aren’t doing it right.

I’ve given up and my three (under 5) are watching tv with the curtains closed eating popcorn just before dinner.

Mine do actually like taking all the cushions off the sofa and jumping on them which isn’t actually that much mess as you only have to tidy them back which takes 2 mins.

Got an aquadraw. It got pit away when th beige one started spitting on it to make patterns. Which is enterprising & while I admire the spirit of experimentation, it’s also disgusting. More shouting.

They did that earlier, but the they wanted me to play too & I didn’t want to, because I’m a terrible parent.

Oh wow, look at that! Before I even had a chance to write my full reply!

That spices one sounds like a nightmare.

Put them both in a bubbly bath with their toy cars and some sponges/old toothbrushes/cloths and let them wash their cars or plastic animals? Also a good one for the paddling pool outside. We've been playing dodgeball with light foam balls to burn off some energy. The go noodle games on YouTube are fun too.

That’s why you put them on a big cheap vinyl tablecloth @user2085372673

Ah that’s annoying about the bath op. Tbh Dd has had endless screen time because I too am touched out. I’m dreaming of going back to work next to the loud breather, because even that right now is preferable to being jumped on every time I sit down for 1 second.

I feel your pain OP. I tend to go for containing the mess to one easy to clear up zone. So eg let them empty the hats/gloves/bags drawer in my wardrobe and play with them, strewing them all over the room, but then it's easy to sweep them all up when done. Or empty a tupperware drawer and let them make towers, play them like drums, etc, then out them all away. Empty all your different pens and crayons and let them put them in different piles by colour. Get clothes pegs and string some cord up and let them hang out the washing? Things like that. Gives them freedom to make "mess" but it's easier to clear up. I don't necessarily plan it, I just notice what they're gravitating towards at that point and see...

I never understand the suggestions of putting tablecloths or shower curtains down to catch mess. They still need cleaning. And I make a huge mess when doing so - it's hard to get it to the shower or sink without bits falling out on the floor en route, hard to get all the bits in the bin or if it's a paint mess they are hard to clean and dry due to the size. But so many people suggest this. What am I doing wrong!?? I suck at some aspects of parenting I really do!

Aqua doodle mat
Play dough
Mini beast hunt
Build a den
Wrap jigsaw pieces in tinfoil to add another element and make it take longer
Colour sorting pom poms
'Washing up' washing yo bucked and sponges with toy cars
Waterbeads
Hide and seek with a toy
Jeli bath (see amazon)
Plant some seeds
Teddy bears picnic
Really long walk
Magnetic tiles

go and feed some ducks?
you def need to leave the house

@sittingonacornflake I just leave it all to dry and then shake off the big lumps outside tbh. I never wash it or anything - far too lazy for that kind of shenanigans

face paints/your old make up
can the older one take photos on your phone? and you send to granny?

Send them to choreograph and practice a dance routine. After an hour of rehearsal they can show you while you have a coffee?

Can you convince them hoovering is fun? Or dusting? Sadly mine are too old to buy that now...

Scavenger hunt: find me a ..... , first one back gets a point.