Hand hold needed

[Devoilmum]

Have strongly suspected for some time now that my dp is cheating on me with a work colleague. Seems this lockdown is really getting to her now and the past week dp has been up into the small hours texting/ sexting or whatever it is they do.
Face recognition on his phone but I’ve sussed the pin and tonight I’m going to check it. He may well have deleted everything but I need evidence. If I just ask, he’ll deny -deny everything and make out I’m crazy.

Ah man, what a god awful bastard.

Hold it together, gather evidence.

He’s downstairs now messaging her - I’m sure. I made an excuse and went down a while ago and he moved his phone away but I saw a message from her come through....

I'm so sorry to hear this OP, what an absolute arse.

Here for a hand hold

op. some apps like WhatsApp I think you can restore messages. Also look out for hidden messaging apps ( hidden in folders etc)

Yep, he’s not using the usual. Using line- it’s hidden away. She’s the only contact on it. I’ve yet to see a messsge though - he deletes. I’m hoping he’s lapsed.

He might archive the chat in Whatsapp, be sure to check archives. And also, if it's an iPhone, look in deleted photos album.

Do you think he knows you know?

Thanks, I’ve made a list of where to look- I feel sick.

I don’t think he suspects I know.

He sounds absolutely awful OP, do you have children together?

Yep, 3 dcs. I’m gutted.

I don’t think he suspects I know.

This is good, for now. I'd try and keep it this way while gathering evidence.

Oh goodness me I'm so sorry OP. Get your ducks in a row before confronting him, and please stay safe

I’ve been getting ducks in a row, I’ve long suspected. But now I know that pin, this is my chance. I found messages before- left his phone open and fell asleep. Everything else deleted - just messages from her saying night, I love you. I didn’t get photos. This time I will.

I'm so sorry, it's absolutely gut wrenching isn't it

Check his internet history too.

Are you planning on asking him to leave if you find incriminating evidence on his phone?

I keep an eye on his internet history - it’s linked on the iPad. I’ve checked emails too. He covers his tracks well.

If it’s undeniable then I doubt I’ll be able to contain my anger. If it’s not clear or deleted I’ll just have to keep trying. She texts him constantly. I thought maybe she was just struggling but his behaviour has changed this past week. I think during lockdown he’s not bothered with keeping in touch with her as much - he’s pretty lazy. I think she’s got pissed off. Anyone familiar with Line? There’s a place for photo storage too I think?

Have you or him got somewhere you could go to stay if things turn nasty?

He’s got her place and she’s welcome to him!

He’s still downstairs- I can hear the tv and him moving around.

So sorry OP

I'm so sorry that is awful. Could you wait until he is asleep and check his phone then? I'm really sorry you are going through this!

OP I am sorry you are going through this. I have been through it with an ex. Check for a 2nd email account. Thats how I found out about my ex. He had a secret email account. When I found it I printed off the emails so he couldn't deny it. He still tried but that's a whole different story. Good luck and know we are all here for you.

He’s changed his pin since this evening. I can’t get proof. I’ve got his phone but can’t unlock it. I didn’t think he’d realised I’d clocked his code earlier.

Oh wow I’m so sorry. The pin change is bad. I would confront him tomorrow.