Have you ever attended a swingers party alone?

[Curiouzerandcuriouzer]

Nc for this and the daily mail are twats!

I broke up with ex DP 3 years ago and since then I have not been with anyone. I miss sex a lot and I miss good sex even more! I am definitely not ready for a relationship, I have think I have ptsd from abuse in my last relationship. I've tried old but it gives me huge anxiety and I end up deleting my profile. I don't have the energy or patience to find and cultivate a friends with benefits relationship, plus I won't bring a man to my house and I don't want to go home with him!

I've been reading about a mansion in my area that holds swingers parties that allows single females. I'm not into orgies, but the reviews say there are lots of private places available for those that want them. On paper it sounds perfect, show up, have a lovely night then go back to real life, but I'm worried the reality might be different and I'll regret it. I'm not a prude or sexually unadventurous, but I have huge anxiety and boundary issues around relationships with men. The reviews say the house has security and people available to help anyone that gets very drunk, single men are not permitted.

Has anyone ever been as a single person? I don't want all the details, just whether it was a pleasant experience or not.

I thought with this stuff at the beginning you were able to just observe, there was no pressure to join in? Why not email them and see what they say.

I'm not into voyeurism! I literally want some no strings sex but I hate online dating where most of these things seem to happen.

I haven't tried Tinder, but what happens if you arrange a meeting at a hotel just for sex then show up and you don't like each other! I would feel awful having to tell someone "actually no, you are not attractive enough for a one nighter".

By just observing you can have a look to see if it’s your sort of thing and if so join in! If not, you can stay and chat or just leave.

Try Fetlife? Or Fabswingers?

If nothing else I can't see it going ahead for a while due to social distancing!

So you've plenty of time to research! In the minute get on love honey!

@Mammyloveswine Yes, I will definitely have plenty of time to plan it! A socially distant swingers party would be a logistical nightmare.

OP, which area is this? asking for a friend.

@Curiouzerandcuriouzer maybe they do zoom parties at the minute?

Lots. Clubs too. 😀

@angelsonbareskin Devon

@Mammyloveswine Oh God, can you imagine! 😂

@wantmorenow Any recommendations?

@niyamamama are you OP and used both names?

😂😂 Name change fail!

Get yourself on to Fabswingers. Free and it'll definitely keep you busy. Suggest you pop up a completely non descript profile and no pic then browse forums and chats. In your profile block everyone contacting you or you will be overwhelmed with messages.

Clubs safer, more structured, more social and less pressurised. Only one I know near (not very near) you is Melksham.

Can I ask what age you are as this may help in terms of what may be more appealing to you?

What a fab topic for a thread- breath of fresh air in my book!

I’m guessing you can do too much research on this stuff. Some things in life have to be ‘suck it and see’. Bad analogy, I mean go along, stay safe and expect nothing the first visit. Going with expectations of decent strings-free sex is bound to be a downer.

You might well be gagging for it, but don’t let that drag you into situations too soon that will turn you off (or be dangerous). It may be that this local place isn’t the right vibe for you- doesn’t mean your idea isn’t a solid one. There’ll be others around.

Go along to scope it- an open mind but crossed legs?

Lol. I researched the hell out of it, we discussed every scenario, our limits, safe words (ie if one of us felt weird & wanted out), what would be our way of dealing with any potential fallout.

Really prepared well.

Went to club and forgot everything discussed (booze, and excited).

Had a great time.

@wantmorenow Great advice! I will definitely have a look on fabswingers. I'm not looking for a couple now though, maybe in the future if this sends me down a rabbit hole of sexual explorations! I'm mid thirties.

You're young in swinging world. Melksham maybe not lively enough. Suggest Chameleons Darlington or Xstasia also Birmingham as it's a proper nightclub, dancefloor etc.

The world is your oyster and unlike in the real world, the women absolutely determine how, where, when things happen in clubs.

@wantmorenow That's fantastic, thank you. Might have to book a weekend break for myself

Although as a pp said, it could be while before its all back up and running!

I haven't done those but did think about it when I split from dh. Instead I have organised my own adventures via fab and fet and other similar sites, with dayroom meets. I've also now started clubs. Fab and fet give you more space to vet the people in advance. Clubs can be pushy/dodgy on consent. Try socials or munches (these are the same but munches are fetish socials). I found fetlife munches to be a lovely way to get to know women who can then share tips on how to stay safe. As a newbie you have to be careful. I am not into fetish stuff but the atmosphere is much more caring and consent based.
Have fun

If you do there is even a special rate at a local hotel (from a chain of national hotels). They put the swingers on the same floor so after club silliness possible too for those who have any energy left.

But shhhh it's a secret.

I thought swingers were wife swappers. Do you not have to trade in your oh to join in?

I've always found the other women at these events friendly and good people. If you are new they will look after you without making you feel 'new' if you get what I mean

Nah. Moved with times.

All sorts and very inclusive . Singles, bi--nights, t-girls and couples.

Something for everyone. Lol

And the blokes are more considerate than the standard hook up, permission is always sought etc