Have you ever attended a swingers party alone?

[Curiouzerandcuriouzer]

Nc for this and the daily mail are twats!

I broke up with ex DP 3 years ago and since then I have not been with anyone. I miss sex a lot and I miss good sex even more! I am definitely not ready for a relationship, I have think I have ptsd from abuse in my last relationship. I've tried old but it gives me huge anxiety and I end up deleting my profile. I don't have the energy or patience to find and cultivate a friends with benefits relationship, plus I won't bring a man to my house and I don't want to go home with him!

I've been reading about a mansion in my area that holds swingers parties that allows single females. I'm not into orgies, but the reviews say there are lots of private places available for those that want them. On paper it sounds perfect, show up, have a lovely night then go back to real life, but I'm worried the reality might be different and I'll regret it. I'm not a prude or sexually unadventurous, but I have huge anxiety and boundary issues around relationships with men. The reviews say the house has security and people available to help anyone that gets very drunk, single men are not permitted.

Has anyone ever been as a single person? I don't want all the details, just whether it was a pleasant experience or not.

I used Fab and loved it. Be selective and you will meet some lovely men. I am no longer using it but have become really good friends with a couple of the guys I met on there. It was perfect for extending my sexual horizons after my divorce, and allowed me to get my mojo back before being ready for a relationship. Having also used online dating I found that Fab was a much more honest and upfront environment, and although it's explicit, in many ways more respectful. It is perfectly ok to have a brief social meet e.g. a coffee or a glass of wine before proceeding any further. Reasonable guys will entirely respect this and understand that you might not click in real life.

I would love to do this but wouldn't even know how to broach it with DH

Yes, I used to frequent a swingers club (Chameleons in Darlaston) very friendly, especially to single ladies.

I was single, I wanted lots of hot sex and I didn’t want to get a reputation in the small village I lived in. Swingers clubs have their place. I loved being the centre of attention.

If you want to know anything in particular DM me. I’m happy to help.

There are basic rules, and as a woman, you call all the shots, but it’s the perfect environment for just lots of vanilla sex or a place to live out a few fantasies.

Forgot to add, don’t use FabSwingers. It’s well known but it’s full of married men cheating, weirdos, men who want to dominate, couples where the woman is too scared to object to her husbands hobby etc. Not a nice place. Especially not for a novice swinger.

I think I heard of something called killing kittens (thread on this site) which might appeal - no personal experience but seems quite classy

Is there an age limit for swingers?
What is the average age for women ?

Samtsirch
Definitely upper limit, definitely no under 21s. ID always required to set up membership or gain entrance.
Mostly 40s, 50s and beyond at Chams. Some 30s few in their 20s.
All shapes, sorts and backgrounds. Very friendly and respectful.

Bigger. Definitely no upper limit.

The younger crowd often go to different events or different nights at clubs. There are a lot of 20s women at fet nights, or it seems that way anyway.

Hmm. Mixed reviews on fabswingers. I've just had a look now the dc are asleep and I've already got 20 messages without a profile pic

It's definitely something I'm going to explore after all the fab advice here. So far it seems much more straight forward than old with all its mind games and 'banter' which I hate. Does anyone know of any clubs in the South West? The place I was talking about in my op is called secrets for sharing. I might check it out once life gets back to some sort of normal.

@wantmorenow
Thank you 👍

I use fab more to chat to people I know ready and read about events and nights. I'd really recommend a few socials, there will be some 'official' fab socials with any luck

No, but I did engage in some swinging with a guy I casually dated (many, many moons ago...been with dh for 12 years so we’re talking like 18 years ago!).

It wasn’t a party, but quite fun. There were no emotional attachments involved on anyone’s part. My understanding from people who are more in that scene is that the good properly run parties are incredibly respectful of women and consent, and generally there is a lot of care taken to make sure women who attend feel very safe. How you decide what a good party is I don’t know, but I suspect someone can come along who knows more than me. I would say it’s definitely safer than a random one on one meet up from Tinder or whatever.

Secrets is good too.

The forums on fab are a good way to find people to talk to or meet up with perhaps meet them at the club even.

Fewer idiots, chancers & time wasters in amongst the people who regularly post and have history.

Maybe same as here, if you wanted to meet someone from Mumsnet for a cuppa, looking through their posting history would give you a better idea about them than a random few PMs.

Going to be a long time until clubs reopen.

Oh God I can't wait. I missed some really good nights I had been looking forward to for months. I just hope the clubs are still there and not all gone bankrupt! They are private members clubs so possibly rules will be relaxed in those before pubs and other clubs.

@DeathByBoredom Private members clubs you say? What are the entry requirements?

Tinder and Bumble are quite easy ways to find sex or a FWB. There is also an adultfriendfinder site which is full of people looking for casual sex or FWB. I have tried in the past, met a great guy and fell in love

Recommending Fab as well. There are plenty of decent men on there, get involved in the chat forums first, if someone catches your eye, message and chat for a bit first then arrange a ‘social only’ to see if you connect. Most are open about being married to give you a heads up if you want to avoid that.

I’ve found it refreshing, people are up front and honest about what they are there for and as a single woman, you’ll have plenty of choice!

Sex clubs are private members clubs (vague on this). It's just a way around the licensing etc. You take id and can join or go on nights where you can go as a guest. I'm trying to think what the groups are called that run the kinds of nights you are talking about. There's some higher end sex nights that run in London, New York, Berlin, country houses etc. Like killing kittens but more classy. If I remember I'll send you a pm.

I can't deal with hetero men on apps like tinder/bumble any more. They are usually rubbish at sex, have crappy attitudes to women who like sex, and then get offended you really do only want sex (ok, massive generalisation there )

What do you mean by that face @JoeBidens?

I can't deal with hetero men on apps like tinder/bumble any more. They are usually rubbish at sex, have crappy attitudes to women who like sex, and then get offended you really do only want sex (ok, massive generalisation there m)

This all doesn't sound very social distancey!