For those who are 'well off', how did you get there?

[Ivyy988]

By well off, I mean comfortable enough to not have to worry about money, can buy luxuries, go on holiday etc.

I'm a single parent, study at a good uni (will have my degree next year), but come from a fairly poor family and I really want to never have to worry about money.

I'm not skiled in anything particular, but have a lot of motivation, am very good at saving (although there isn't a lot to save on a student loan) and mainly buy second hand etc.

What is the best way to get there? Am i best of looking for a graduate jon and working my way up? continuing in education? What things helped you get there? (other than inhereted money or where you had a large amount to begin with).

"I was always told to follow your passion (even if it had poor financial prospects)."

Unless you have a passion for investment banking, that is so obviously not how you become well off!

"I would have to rely essentially on a 9-5 role due to childcare.."

It's very naive to think you could build a career and achieve a high salary on this basis. There may be people who have already established their careers who are then able to restrict their working hours like this. But you have to establish yourself first.

With all due respect it doesn't matter one bit if your degree is a first from a top university - if it's in the social sciences it's not going to land you a lucrative career.

IMO the people in well paid jobs are the people who choose maths, science, IT, engineering, law... who are statistically more likely to be men, of course.

DH worked really hard through uni and saved his money which he used to buy a crappy house and then do up with his dad. Sold it at profit then bought another, repeat. Then bought an apartment block etc.
When he met me I was his interior designer! We now have a large property portfolio. It’s been extremely hard work at times but it’s paid off now. DH is 48 and can do as little or as much work as he likes really (he has staff) and I’m a sahm. We have a nice life - there isn’t limitless funds so I don’t go around buying ridiculous things but we can go on nice holidays, have a large house, nice cars, kids in private school etc.

So for us it’s been a combination of buying the right properties at the right price and bloody hard work!

Property is pretty much always going to be a good investment though.

I think a lot is down to luck. i was just lucky. but it also depends what you mean by how much money is enough. We have decent holidays and have a nice house(s) without mortgages and can afford everything we want, but we have friend who have the same income, but live in a cramped terrace and have to limit their family to one child and have to work full time just because they want to live in London. Madness Imo and I'm sure they feel the same about us 🙂. I think it totally depends on how you define wealth.

Dh grew up in an abusive ex-mining family in northumberland - worked hard, went to Uni and then got a graduate job worked lots of hours and it now a fund manager in a corporate enviroment.

Pressed too soon and I worked hard at my utterly dire comp and got to a good uni, did a masters, I was pretty senior in a large practice by 26 and then married well!

DH & I both grew up in council houses and are from poor backgrounds. We married in our early 20’s, still pretty poor. We both worked our way up, DH climbing much further than me, working in a bank, becoming a manager and eventually regional manager.
I worked in a finance dept. did my accountancy qualifications in my early 30’s and worked as an accountant for 30 years.

DH and I are high earners - think top 1%. DH is from a very wealthy background but my family experienced some serious financial difficulties when I was a child.

We’ve both worked extremely hard to get where we are today: senior City roles. It’s tough at times, no doubt, but the financial rewards are substantial.

@AnotherEmma I think that very much depends on your interpretation of well off and what is needed to live comfortably.

I'm aware I won't be able to have a lucrative income, thats not what I'm after, I just don't want to have to worry.

From a massively disadvantaged background, I would say my idea of 'well off' is probably vastly different to the majority

Very good private school education, a lot of perseverance, family who had money to support me and luck.

We didn’t have much money growing up (mum was a single parent and sometimes we didn’t have anywhere permanent to live, lived in hotels and campsites for a while). But my mum did it so she pay me school fees. She worked 4 jobs at one point: a full time job with a 3 hour daily commute and 3 part time evening and weekend jobs as a cleaner, doing admin work, doing odd jobs. Anything just to keep me in school. I got an excellent education.

I went on to uni, did a master’s and a PhD, again with her helping when I ran out of money for food and rent.

I worked really hard. I worked on my career and didn’t make a whole lot of money for awhile when other people were buying houses and new cars and shiny new things. With a PhD from a very good uni and lots of contacts, I got a good job which is higher paid that most people at my level.

I also married dh who is very entrepreneurial, didn’t have as much help as I did along the way, but is very good at business. Started his own business from nothing working evenings and weekends while he had a full time job during the day. It’s now very successful. Some of that is luck, some of it was good business sense.

And my mum also married well late in life, so I don’t have to take care of her financially, we had a bit of help towards a house deposit from her, and will one day get a large inheritance.

I would say I didn’t feel ‘well off’ until late 30s though. I certainly was culturally middle class, but we still ran out of money every month until we were probably 37.

OP I have a philosophy degree (useless!) from a red brick uni...mid 30s, 2 kids (now single parents) and earning £70k + perks in a very average job for a large corporate. Can absolutely be done.

I understand what you meant. But if you were taught to chase passions and not money, if you choose arts, literature, language, social sciences etc over maths, science, IT, engineering, law etc, you are not going to be in a position where you "don't have to worry" about money. Not as a single parent. Single parents always have to worry about money unless they're high earners or from rich families that provide financial support and/or inheritance.

I chose to follow my interests rather than make money - and I would certainly be worrying about money if it's wasn't for the fact that i have a DH who made different choices.

It is much harder if you already have a child and are a single parent. A child is very restrictive, especially if you are own your own and only just setting out. It's not impossible, but some of the options in terms of work won't be open to you, plus you will only have 1 income. People who find lots of flexibility with their kids are often further up in the business, having worked up whilst child free or being able to afford lengthy childcare to allow for the career. Sorry to point this out, but it is the reality.

However, there are always single mums who go onto do really well. Often they seem to take a slightly less conventional route - so it's not the bog standard grad scheme at 21 with long hours, a gradual climb in a well-paid career, meeting their spouse innthebworkplace or socially who is also well laid, followed by cashing in their 2 flats fhey bought early, to buy a family house before having kids in their 30s or even later, and then returning to work either full time, full time or not at all if spouse is doing really well and they don't want to. I've known people who had a child very early on their own return to education in their 30s and literally slave to get their qualifications and then work up in their 40s as their child is grown up. Or some single mums just have an amazing business idea or drive and work huge hours whilst living with supportive parents. They are often hugely dynamic and impressive as people.

I think it is hard to follow the standard routes of education, grad career and thriftiness to success as a young single parent. It might not go down well, but having a stable partner or spouse who has similar financial values will make a huge difference to both your household earning capacity and also your childcare flexibility. Probably not PC to mention it, but 2 incomes give you much more strength. If you had free childcare from family memebers which could also be really flexible it would help. Standard childcare which will need you to pick up by 6 will make it hard to be a real go-getter in the early stages of your career.

Both me and DP came from very poor backgrounds in 80/90's.

Don't have anymore children until you're where you want to be

If you have spare time whilst your at Uni, which you should given actual teaching hours are low. Then volunteer/shadow/work part time in your chosen sector. Do it now for a year and it'll be an asset on your CV and you'll be more employable.
Once you have your foot in the door you can concentrate on working hard.

• work full time
• take jobs that are far away, a ball ache, longer hours ect if they will get you some where and you benefit from it. Don't take the easy option.
• always be looking for the next job, once you can do the role your doing look for the next. I don't mean changing sector but moving up with your skill set.
• Look for fast track schemes you can apply for
• Masters depending on your sector I would hold off. Lots of employers will pay and support you through this.

Don't settle, know what you're worth and create your own luck

I came from a very disadvantaged background. I worked and studied and saved. I gained additional qualifications whilst working. I gained early management experience that made me stand out through voluntary work overseas.
I thought carefully about who I would marry and have as the father of my children. I deferred children until we could support them.
We decided who the main earner would be and focused on getting his career to a level where life became easier. We saved and bought a rental property and lived in tied accommodation so we could rent out our house. My husband did three linked jobs that each built his career.
I studied for postgraduate qualifications, in addition to those I had already, and maintained my career at a simmer until the children were older. Then I returned full time and sought promotion.
We’re both high earners now, my husband more so than me but since it’s shared money, it doesn’t matter.

We moved around the country for the best jobs too.

Started our own business, sold it 6 years later. Bought property at the right time (luck rather than judgement), have been lucky in several ways at different times, but have always worked hard and as smart as we knew how

being good at my job but moving every 2-3 years for the first maybe 5 roles out of uni (easier to do in london as everyone moves around a lot). When you move jobs that's the time you tend to get the biggest salary jump, I made minimum 7or 8k jumps each time.

I came from nothing at all: if fact we were homeless twice during my shitty children. Alcoholic mother.

Out of all my brothers and sisters I am the only one that strived I think. 2 homeless, one doing ok on a factory. I don't know what make me think I could work for more but I did think that and did.

I'm not rich but I own my own business, have zero money worries, want for nothing really. We have 3 amazing children, amazing holidays and just have a nice house and a nice home.

I have tried to help my siblings, in fact do regularly but it seems they just have a different mindset

I think having a goal from an early age helped.. I always knew I wanted my own business at some point.. I didn't actually know in the early days what they would be!! I came from a working class family and didn't do very well at school.. scrapped a few o levels basically. I've always had a good work ethic and had three jobs through my 20's which enabled me to save a deposit and get on the housing ladder at 21.
I didn't spend much in those days but did have a horse! No car as couldn't afford one so cycled everywhere.
Then met my husband and got married aged 30. He persuaded me to start my own business contracting in the job I had been working in for several years. At the same time we bought and sold and did up several houses... working into the night on them to turn them around quickly.
Now nearing 50 I live alone, no children, and have a lovely life style with a great social life. I'm not rich but don't worry money as such. Can afford holidays abroad, still have horses but have never really been into designer clothes etc.
So I would say find a job you love and that you can work your way up in or be able to go freelance at some point.
Luck is always going to play a part despite the best laid plans but I've always felt that if you want something enough you will find a way.

Childhood not children!

OP, I think a lot of people on the thread are describing how they've become really well-off and what you would call very wealthy. I get the impression you aren't looking for that and actually just want to be secure and a lot of whatbis being described in terms of grad schemes isn't on your radar - that whatever you choose has to fit around your child and your expectations re work aren't big long hours and grafting to rise up the greasy pole, but you just want a decent standard job that will pay okay. Is that right?

Also where in the country do you live? Big factor.

I'd still say try to get professionally qualified. You aren't going to be looking for grad scheme places with the top firms but if you can get qualified as a solicitor as accountant there will be jobs which pay relatively well with reasonable hours.

Childcare costs and costs of running a home alone whilst training will make it hard and buying a home alone will be very hard. Everything will be easier if you are paired up in a secure relationship or marriage and there are 2 earners and 2 to manage childcare.

Did well out of my divorce and then had a good inheritance.
I don’t have expensive tastes and live in a cheap area of the country so me and dh live very well.

I could use my money to start a business but to be honest I really just like to enjoy it.
( I’m not talking millions btw)

@WombatChocolate its not necessarily that I wouldn't want that (maybe after my child has outgrown the childcare stage), but essentially that it isn't possible given my circumstances. But yes I would be more than happy to just be very comfortable. I'm not materialistic and don't need things, but I wan't to be able to go on nice holidays etc.

London origionally but I'm studing in another city. I'll be moving to wherever the highest paying job is

DH and I both studied hard and did Masters degrees. Set up a successful business some years ago. We've been together since our teens and bought a house as soon as we could (early 20s), we always bought wrecks and fixed them up along the way.
Now we are 40ish and in our big forever home and would perhaps be viewed as 'well off'. I've always been militant about budgets/saving/overpaying mortgage etc. We have never had debt or bought cars on finance. It's been a mindset for 20 years which has stood us in good stead and got us to where we are.