For those who are 'well off', how did you get there?

[Ivyy988]

By well off, I mean comfortable enough to not have to worry about money, can buy luxuries, go on holiday etc.

I'm a single parent, study at a good uni (will have my degree next year), but come from a fairly poor family and I really want to never have to worry about money.

I'm not skiled in anything particular, but have a lot of motivation, am very good at saving (although there isn't a lot to save on a student loan) and mainly buy second hand etc.

What is the best way to get there? Am i best of looking for a graduate jon and working my way up? continuing in education? What things helped you get there? (other than inhereted money or where you had a large amount to begin with).

@Ivyy988 how about converting to law after graduation? I did from social science, it seems a commonly trodden path. I qualified and am currently working on a plan to be "well off". DH and I are comfortable but would like to retire early.

Head over to moneysavingexpert.com. A lot of people there are very knowledgeable about how to make your money stretch further when you have it, investments, cutting your costs etc. It can be a very inspiring place.

I second what pp said about paying yourself first. When I get paid, the first thing that gets transferred out is £x for savings. Consider it gone then so you won't dig into it. DH doesn't have the same mindset I do and if it's there, he is liable to spend it, so I transfer the money to the savings then the him when the current account is running low that we need to be frugal until next payday. If you're likely to forget or not have the will power, set up a standing order.

In terms of my own progress, I graduated uni with a bachelor's and converted to law as it was what I was interested in - more so than my degree. I considered changing degree but opted to graduate then convert it instead. When I finished that, I couldn't find a job straight away, so found a min wage kitchen job. I worked as hard as I could and went from 30ish hours to 48 hours per week because they liked my work ethic. Fortunately with the nature of the industry, I could do my hours in the evening and weekends. They were happy to rota me those as I worked bloody hard during busy shifts and made a good name for myself. Hated the place though. Started volunteering for a charity, who also liked my work ethic and hired me 3 days per week after a few months, that increased to 4. Kept up my hours in the kitchen job. I was often exhausted and worked 16 hours a day for almost a year, but banked everything that wasn't rent, food, petrol for cheap car, utilities etc.
I got an entry level job in law from someone who did similar and recognised my work ethic again. I stayed there for 2.5 years. I enjoyed it and I learned a lot. That job gave me the contract I needed to get a mortgage. I'd saved £10,000 from my ridiculous work hours the previous year for a deposit. I brought a 2 up 2 down ex council terrace that needed work for just over £100,000. I did it up gradually during the 3 years I lived there, with some help from DP (now DH). Sold it for £125,000 after 3 years. During my ownership, I was frequenting the MSE forums and throwing everything I could at the mortgage (allowing for an emergency fund of course). Brought with DH in a nice city, did the same again buying a house that needed work and doing it up. There are still bits to be done, but we've already added to the value significantly.
We had DC1 and I went back to work full time when he was almost a year old. We were fortunate in that the ILs offered us 2 days a week childcare, so even with a 3 day a week nursery bill, we've been able to save and throw extra at the mortgage.
I'm awaiting DC2 any day now and will probably go back at least 4 days after this so we can carry on with our life plan. I'd like to have paid the mortgage off before the kids go to secondary school, so we can afford for them to have opportunities that present themselves.

Oh aye no kids!

Poor family and an abusive past, educated myself, married well in that he had a decent career as did I. Plus the more unusual thing for young people we both dabbled in the stock market as teenagers and did ok. Then had a great return one year so paid off our entire mortgage in our mid thirties. Risky though, I remember the day DH lost 25k after an investment went badly. We are both massive clever nerds but a bit odd, so they say anyway.

I am from middle class background (dad in the civil service, mum a teacher) so went to uni sort of as a default, trained as a teacher.

Married dh when he was still a poor struggling medical student and I was the one with the high-paying job (relatively!!). Once he became a GP partner he rapidly overtook me and now earns loads, I'm disabled so my teaching days are over, I'm home with teenage kids just leaving school and looking to up my volunteering in our church and possibly do a tefl.

I'm lucky that his job means I don't have to worry. Holidays are less of a deal, we used to live very remote and rural and are now in the city, and so we were able to keep our house when we moved. So we have fantastic holidays in the Hebrides and go abroad for a change every few years.

It's mainly about the choices you make. Delay having children, my first was born when I was almost 31. Agree about finding the right partner, someone who shares the same life goals and work ethic as you do.

Also being prepared to seize opportunities and push out of your comfort zone - as a couple we made decisions like DH taking a 9 month secondment overseas where I couldn't go too, and moving from one end of the country to the other. Tough at the time but paid off in the long run.

We also don’t have flash cars and our kids don’t go to private school. Unless you’re mega wealthy those things can be a massive drain on finances

From poor background, dropped out of uni. Have worked since 14 learnt work ethics.. always worked while was in education, worked long hours proved my worth as a grafter who got results. At 35 was earning £40k, decided prefer lifestyle rather than climbing higher in career so haven't chased promotions since then. Now 40, earn £43k. DH earns about the same. Fairly small mortgage (bought small house in really nice area) no DC. So basically between us earn about £88k most of which is disposable income.

Career wise, work hard put the hours in, prove yourself, then when you reach a point where you feel you can have a comfortable lifestyle, stop climbing the career and enjoy what you've earned!

Get a professional qualification it’s working hard and working smart. You could work very hard in the corner shop but it won’t get you very far. Work hard at something like law or dentistry and it probably will.

^^ I think you've made an excellent point! A lot of people will work very hard but sadly won't be financially rewarded

I thought we were well off when I was growing up, as I was never hungry, unlike plenty of other kids at my school, and we had our own house rather than renting. But as I grew up I realised that my idea of comfortably off was very different to lots of other people's and that my parents were stupendously thrifty.
Everyone's expectations are different. I would say we are very comfortably off now. DH and I both have professional jobs and we have a nice house, a car each, a boat and we holiday abroad once a year and in the UK once a year. But compared to plenty of other people I know we are very much the poor relations. I guess it depends to a degree where you started from and what makes you happy. As a child, the lifestyle that I enjoy now would have been beyond my wildest imaginings, but to the child of a millionaire I expect it would be a nightmare.
But for what its worth I got here by a combination of natural ability, hard work, supportive parents and a bit of luck. Kids from my school rarely went on to higher education, never mind the type of course that I wanted to do - I still remember one teacher laughing out loud at me when I said what I wanted to do. But, largely thanks to my parents' encouragement, I refused to let my expectations of myself be limited by what other people thought that "someone like me" should be capable of. So my first piece of advice would be to believe in yourself and don't listen to anyone who seeks to put you down. Second piece of advice is to be realistic however - the job that you can earn most money at may not be the one you enjoy most so you may need to compromise to some extent. I went for an in between option. I could definitely have earned more if I had taken a different direction but I know I would have hated the work. But had I done the job I think I would have enjoyed best I would have earned very little, so I took a middle path. Thirs piece of advice is be thrifty and careful with your money. This I learned from my parents and it has always served me well. Some of my colleagues laugh at our relatively modest lifestyle compared to theirs but we have no debt. That truly means that I don't worry about money.
Good luck with your degree and whatever comes next.

I’m so glad you’ve had some good advice.
Career - corporate world or your own business pays well. Corporate world could be a profession (eg accountancy, law) or graduate entry to big employer.
Housing and location- get on housing ladder rather than renting but be careful where you buy.
Relationship- be clear and explicit before long term commitment and ensure partner has compatible goals.
Prudence- manage your money well. Think about what ‘treats’ are genuinely worth it for you and which you can easily skip. For me I drive an old car and don’t wear any designer clothes but I do go on holidays and eat good food. It’s different for different people.

Money creates money so save early. Eg if you have a good deposit you get a better mortgage. If you have a good credit rating you get better credit.

Drive and determination in whatever you do are really important and it sounds like you have this in spades!

Worked my ass off throughout school and uni. Always took the boring options that would give me greatest earning potential - studied business at uni instead of English Lit, did work experience in accountancy firms rather than anything more interesting, went to work in professional services and then financial services. I really wanted to work in TV/film production but had no family money or other means of supporting myself so I went for office jobs that would pay well.

I don't really regret it as I'm earning a lot now for a job I find intellectually stimulating, but I sometimes wish i'd been able to pursue something more fun or creative. I want that for my daughter so will work hard to give her that option.

Have more than one income stream.
Marry someone who has the same attitude to money/ finances as yourself- you don’t want a liability .
Tbh, a lot of it is just luck.

Some great advice, thank you!

Agree with those saying be careful with respect to partner choices. Ive only dated a few (still young) but its been an eye opener as to how awful people can be with money

We’re certainly not rich but very comfortable. We own(mortgaged) a large home, have at least 3 abroad holidays plus a couple of weekend breaks a year and don’t have to think about our spending on a day to day basis.
Both of us have progressed to senior positions in our careers which is why we are where we are.

What an interesting thread. I never really 'made it' as such.
But am still comfortable.

I do book-keeping / accounts, 2 part time jobs.
Very well paid, would be £50k full time.
Dh is an ops manger for a big company, £50k also.

We had DC in our mid- late 20's so didn't wait. We had a house bought at a low price mid '90s, but risked everything and had to start again 12 years ago. From scratch.

DH got his head down, worked 12 hours a day, 6 days a week in a commission related job. He happens to be very good at it, and is prepared to move companies if he doesn't feel he's valued. He is actually very, very good at what he does.
I used to have a well paid job before I had DC. I was good at it, moved when I didn't feel valued and was happy to work hard for long hours. (You might notice a theme here) We both can't do what we do with DC, so I have chosen a much lower paid job because it fits in with having DC.

The main thing is liking your job, or you won't want to do it for long hours, be prepared to miss out on special moments in your child's life (reception nativity plays) have water tight childcare and don't be scared to look elsewhere to improve your pay. Oh, and be prepared to commute. And sell your soul to the devil while your at it. I do think if you have two incomes for one household it does make things so much easier.

Retrained careers. Fuck loads of hard work,, luck, eating noodles for years, don't go out to restaurants, don't by clothes or expensive make up etc.

@ComeOnEileen11 also yes, a law conversion is one of the options I was considering.

Great to hear that your hard work paid off!

Normal background for me, worked hard at school and got bullied for it, got at job at 16 and continued to study at college, went to uni, got a good degree in humanities from good uni, took a "gap yah" and went skiing for a year because I'd always worked so hard and not done anything for me.
Came back, started as Band 2 admin in the NHS. Now 8B management 7 years later. Always worked full time, done over time, extra hours, volunteered to help other depts etc to progress.

Met my husband at uni, he got on a grad scheme after graduating and has done well in that. Now also NHS and much more senior to me so we have a comfortable income.

Bought first house with a decent deposit from long term savings (husband saved 1/3 of any money he earned or was gifted from 13). Had a sensible affordable but wonderful wedding, and lots of holidays. worked hard to then be in a position to buy a better house in a better area 4 years later. Waited to get pregnant until jobs and home sorted and felt financially secure.

I'd say advice for you would be you're not going to get that 50k a year job straight from uni. Look into grad schemes, they tend to start around £25k but are super competitive to get on, super competitive and expect long hours when you work for them but probably a quicker route to more money. Or, given your family scenario, find a job/company you like to work for with good history of internal promotions and work your way up through an entry level job.

I tried to get on the NHS grad scheme twice and was embarrassingly far away from even getting the interviews. But it only took me 9-12 months longer than those on the grad scheme to get to the same pay, and got a hell of a lot more respect for "rising through the ranks".

Work life balance is important too!

From a privileged background with parents who instilled the importance of education and can-do attitude. Academically gifted & met someone from a similar background who has very niche work skills to allow him to earn a lot.

Worked abroad on expat contracts in low tax countries. Waiting until our 30s for children.

Live quite a frugal lifestyle (one second hand car, second hand phones etc).

I've had a few false starts along the way, average degree from top university but trained with Big 4 Accountancy Firm and qualified as a Chartered Accountant. Did well on the property ladder in London then lost everything in a messy divorce. Started again 10 years ago - work in Financial services so cut back expenses, saved hard, bought house with new husband did it up ourselves every weekend and now back to having a lovely home, no debt and a fab life again.

I have survived the downturns in the financial services industry where many haven't because I have always worked hard, been prepared to do more sometimes for less money but its worked out. My advice always remember its a long game.

Often people say not having children until you are well established in a career and own a property makes a big difference. I think it does, but not possible for you.

Being money savvy helps a lot. So understanding interest rates and returns on savings and interest on credit cards and loans is useful. MOney Saving Expert website can teach you a lot if you dot know already. So, not buying things you don't need or not paying more for them than you need to, not buying cars or other stuff with loans and paying off debt.

For us, we both have degrees and decent but not well paid jobs - think public sector work which pays middle managers around £40k. One of us bought a property at the turn of the century and saw it make money, allowing a move with lots of equity. Always saving hard and having offset-mortgages which reduced the amount owed helped, as did low interest rates after the 2008 crash, but never reducing payments and paying off chunks of mortgage from savings each year. Mortgage free by 40. Continued saving as if paying a mortgage. Bought Buy To Let mortgage free 5 years later. Now lots of money in the bank and 2 kids in fee paying schools.

Still don't earn high salaries - still qualify for child benefit. Always have holidays, but cheapish UK based ones. Not interested in new cars or DIY projects beyond what is needed. Do go out, but would look for 2 for 1 vouchers and no drink heavily. Kids do lots of extra curricular which costs lots. Have a frugal attitude about not spending more than needed and shopping around, plus don't have expensive tastes, except in cultural and educational things.

Yes to becoming professionally qualified in something. For most you'll need a Masters or professional qualification. Yes for going something with a decent salary like accountancy or Law if you can get onto them. If you are really clever and have a degree from a top uni and good A Levels behind you, you might get onto a grad training scheme that gets you qualified and pays you and guarantees you a job. Being a single parent, you're not the typical early 20s grad training scheme candidate, but if you've got the academic credentials and the confidence to go for it, you might tick their 'broadening access' criteria. Q is, are you goi g to be able to do a job that needs crazy hours and commitment when you've for a small child? Get onnthebproperty ladder when you can. I know it's hard, but even if it's shared ownership or similar do so.

@SeriouslyRetro I agree with you. I did a foundation year with people going on to do psychology. All of us who chose the professional degree (ie defined career path) are putting the feelers out. The psychology students have absolutely no idea what or where to go. I'd say their degree is a damn sight harder too with the statistics and research methods they have to learn.

We aren't rich but are comfortable . We live in Scotland and have a mortgage well below our means. Dh earns around 60k and I stay home with the kids and work pt from home sometimes. Dh has a degree relevant to his profession but essentially had to do a lot of rubbish jobs for years and work his way up. He works away from home frequently pre Covid, I've had to pick up a lot of slack so he can progress which is what we both wanted but if he'd been a single parent I don't know how he'd have done it - people can and do though.

how did you get there?
Mainly, by being old.
As Dickens Micawber Principle says "Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen pounds nineteen and six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery."
Do that for enough years and you will be OK