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Original poster

Registering a birth - mother's surname

40 replies

RainMinusBow · 23/04/2020 02:21

So stressed out!!
I am aware births are currently not being registered. However...
Due a baby end of May with my fiancé.
I've been legally divorced for around three years but not officially changed back to my family name as fiancé and I plan to marry in next couple of years and it seemed a bit mad to change surname twice.
Problem is, I REALLY don't want ex-husband's surname anywhere on the birth certificate. He was/is an abuser of epic proportions.
Is there anything I can do documentation-wise to have my family ("maiden") name that I am now known by written on the birth certificate?

OP posts:

bettybattenburg · 23/04/2020 02:50

Can you do an online deed poll to change to your original name ?

Wishandwonder · 23/04/2020 02:59

Just don’t produce your marriage certificate. Use your birth certificate as ID. Not sure how name changes work when divorced but I know when I got married just the marriage certificate was proof of name change even though my new surname is nowhere on the certificate. Does it work the same as divorce?

Original poster

RainMinusBow · 23/04/2020 03:11

@Wishandwonder I'm not sure it does as they ask if you have been known by any other name. And legally I still am under my married name (even though divorced) so not sure it would be lawful to use my family name?

However, I do have my decree absolute takes it out of frame as well as my birth certificate so wondering if that would be evidence enough?

Baby is not a problem as her surname will be fiancé's surname plus my family name.

OP posts:

ArriettyJones · 23/04/2020 03:14

Just use your divorce decree as proof and get your driving license changed (or get a provisional if you don’t drive). You can change it back later, or leave it like that and change nothing else until later.

I’d also consider registering baby in your own (maiden) name. The registration is easily changed if you do later marry.

ArriettyJones · 23/04/2020 03:21

Whatever you do, do not complicate things by resorting to deed poll. You are perfectly legally entitled to your birth name. You just need the documents to prove it’s yours.

However, I do have my decree absolute takes it out of frame as well as my birth certificate so wondering if that would be evidence enough?

Are the registration offices open for phone enquiries? Or completely closed? If in doubt, use those two documents to generate photo ID (passport or DL) in your original name.

Original poster

RainMinusBow · 23/04/2020 03:21

@AwrriettyJones I'd hoped to do that, but DVLA not currently accepting paper applications and can't name change online!!

As it happens fiancé and I had booked our wedding last year for beginning of April but had to cancel it as I lost my job and couldn't afford it. Rough at the time but in retrospect with the current situation it was a blessing in disguise!

My personal belief is baby should take both of our surnames as she is equally ours - she is no more "mine" than she is my fiancé's.

OP posts:

ArriettyJones · 23/04/2020 03:25

My personal belief is baby should take both of our surnames as she is equally ours - she is no more "mine" than she is my fiancé's.

Fair enough. I missed you said she was having both

Original poster

RainMinusBow · 23/04/2020 03:28

@ArriettyJones She is - I wouldn't be comfortable with her having just his, even if we were married! When we do marry I will also be double-barrelled the same as our daughter 😊

OP posts:

sashh · 23/04/2020 03:29

Just start using your family name, there is no need to do a deed poll (although you can) it is still your name.

Connie222 · 23/04/2020 08:02

My maiden name is on both my dc birth certs despite me using my husbands name.

My husband insisted I use his name when we got married. I was too weak to argue. I had to change it in everything - apart from my passport which I refused to change. But I wanted my maiden name on dc birth certs, when I die that name will be on my headstone!

There wasn’t a problem when registering the births and used my maiden name.

Connie222 · 23/04/2020 08:04

Oh and I didn’t register the births, my husband did. They never asked for ‘proof’ of my name.

Original poster

RainMinusBow · 23/04/2020 10:36

@Connie222 Aw thanks, that's good to know. Once bitten, twice shy for me! When I married ex at 24 I didn't even think about not taking his name and I live to regret it. My two sons have a completely different surname to me which is rubbish. I'm now almost 40 so older and wiser!

My fiancé will be with me as unmarried partners both have to attend if father is to be added to birth certificate.

OP posts:

frazzledasarock · 23/04/2020 10:40

When I registered my dc, I showed them my original wedding certificate to prove my maiden name and my decree absolute to show I’m divorced.

You will need to show evidence of where you live if I’m correct so if your utilities are under former married name you will need your marriage certificate to prove your maiden name.

I also took my own birth certificate to prove it and I’d changed everything anyway. But they required a wedding certificate to prove I was my maiden name.

compassunreliable · 23/04/2020 10:40

You in England or wales? Because there's no such thing as a legal name, just the name you use. So if you're known by your birth name and use your birth name that is your name.

compassunreliable · 23/04/2020 10:41

A deed poll is just a way to evidence the name you use and are known by. It's not that big a deal.

Original poster

RainMinusBow · 23/04/2020 10:56

@compassunreliable I'm in England. But although divorced my legal surname remains my married name as I changed it upon marriage. At least that's what I understand it to be?

OP posts:

BertieBotts · 23/04/2020 11:07

Nope, marriage is not a legal change of name like it is in other countries. The marriage certificate is proof that you have changed your name, but there's no legal status attached to this.

ArnoldBee · 23/04/2020 11:20

Well interestingly I mentioned my previous married name when I registered my youngest and the registrar just said dont worry we wont put it in.

Original poster

RainMinusBow · 23/04/2020 12:11

@ArnoldBee That sounds promising. Did you use your family name?

OP posts:

ArnoldBee · 23/04/2020 12:18

I didn't use my maiden name as I had re-married and my maiden name is not great tbh! I actually prefer my previous married name lol. When we went in 2012 no ID was required as they used the info sent from the hospital.

knittingaddict · 23/04/2020 12:40

Your maiden name is still your name, so you are perfectly entitled to use it, with no issues, on your child's birth certificate. When you marry you have a choice of keeping your maiden name or adopting your husband's name. If you decide you use your husband's name you can go back to using your previous name at a later date.

PeaOp · 23/04/2020 12:49

I (legally) use both my maiden and married names. It is legal as long as you aren’t attempting to defraud. Both names appeared (at my request) on the birth certificate otherwise it would have just been my maiden name.

orlarose · 23/04/2020 13:21

I have never been asked for any ID when registering births. They've simply asked name, place of birth. There is a box for previous names where people will say their maiden name if married to the father. Just say no for this box.

frazzledasarock · 23/04/2020 15:03

I registered dc last February, when we booked an appointment they sent a list of requirements which included proof of address a utility bill and passport, they also asked if I’d previously been married to bring evidence of maiden name.

This was in England.

CodenameVillanelle · 23/04/2020 15:09

You don't stop being called X surname when you get married, you just get to call yourself X mansurname if you want to. Your surname is still surname. Just pretend that mansurname never existed.

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