Chat for those who are shielding

[AuntieSocia1]

Apologies for the very unsnazzy title but as it suggests a place to chat for those who have to shield at the moment. A few of us have been talking on the the Shielding after lockdown thread in the coronavirus topic.

Thought I'd put this in chat as some days I'm guessing we'll want to chat about anything other than coronavirus!

I know all of our circumstances are quite different as well as the reason we need to shield but it's a pretty big thing to have in common. Despite my username I look forward to interacting with you and as my username suggests I might also slink off from time to time!

@IrmaFayLear for the second actually third time as another poster has also said this to you. This is meant to be a supportive thread. If you don’t want support/or offer any please leave this thread. This is about the only place I am getting support right now and I value this thread immensely.
I am shielding as is my mum, - alone as my dad recently died from Covid19. I struggle to get through each day. Undoubtedly it’s far harder for her. We cannot even video call.
Your comments like “ moaning minnies” etc are very upsetting and I will have to leave the thread if you carry on in this way.

IrmaFayLear theres a lovely thread calling anyone who is a bit worried a dementor, maybe it's more your cup of tea?

Why do we feel abandoned? Because no one is even bothering to acknowledge us or give us the slightest idea of if this will be extended. Despite it being fairly obvious that it will.

And no, I'm not fucking humbled that I can get a box of food.

@aldiaisleofcrap, please stay.

On subject of Being Heard, The Guardian are asking people who’re shielding to tell them how they feel about the relaxation of lockdown.

@walnut87 - congratulations if it’s any help/consolation my friends with wee babies are anticipating not being able to offer them the now-standard array of socialising even as lockdown lifts for them. I know I’ve seen stuff about people running baby music groups online - there’s probably lots of baby classes happening over Zoom & on YouTube... have you any NCT-type friends you could have a virtual meet-up with? Vvv pleased you’re able to take the wee one out safely: a friend local to me with an almost-4-month-old has struggled taking her out though they’re not shielding just because even in lockdowniest lockdown people were tripping over each other & it was (unsurprisingly) a worry to her. “Just” outside is not to be underestimated. And as PPs said, what your baby needs is you; issue will be you needing non-baby conversation...

@Ulysses - excellent your DH had that bit of good news

Evening, fellow shielders!
I'm an unashamed free food box moaning minnie - if I had to live on solely the stuff in there it would really screw up my diabetes further.

I've been lucky enough to get general
Morrison's slots most of the time though (and will be passing the box stuff I can't eat onto a food bank).

Tesco added me to their priority list last week, as did Waitrose (not that I can afford them or their minimum £60 shop that often) . Ocado were adamant I'm not on the government list and heavily emphasised that I've not shopped with them often enough in the past for them to let me use them .. Maybe I just wasn't humble enough in my email

The government's food boxes might turn up if you're lucky, or they might not, it's all very random, phone calls to the council don't solve much, they're pretty pissed off with the government's performance as well.

Oh - the other useful thing I've learned is that Tesco don't seem to have a minimum spend; they just add a £4 small order charge if your basket is under £40.
There ends my priority slot lesson for the week

My online supermarket lesson for the week is that if they have to substitute with a higher priced item, Waitrose and I think Tesco charge the original price (e.g. Waitrose sent me a full bottle of brandy for the price of a tiny one for cooking) Sainsbury’s however charge the higher price (and make random unusuable substitutions) and give you a voucher for the difference.

I haven’t had a food box but I’ve seen other people’s and whilst I think they are a good thing I’m not sure how I would feed 4 adults and a bloody huge dog with one.

I got a bit food obsessed, not able to get delivery slots I had food coming from all over the place, butchers, farm shops, amazon (I have enough salt and pepper to last bloody years now) snappy shopper (app to get delivery’s from local small shops, invaluable for a few weeks, fresh juice, milk, bread etc and a few bottles of wine! Still use them) managed to get a couple of Iceland slots! This took a lot of work though and I will continue to support the local firms I found.

The hardest bit was the dogs food, he’s on a certain diet and it’s risky to change it due to bloat, in fact I must order some!

@MarieVanGoethem

Thanks :) oh yes, I know - it’s crazy for all new mums. I did NCT and have never been gladder - they are honestly getting me through. I’ve signed up for local online classes too but never seem to have a baby in a fit state to do any of them how do people do it?! We’ve not been out much, my shielding issue is lack of spleen and the fields around here are full of ticks so have to be mega careful but am now kitted our like the geekiest of walkers and have brought myself a carrier which dd screams when she goes into... lovely Anyway now I really am moaning. Tbh as time goes on, I think I will just have them around in my garden, it’s big enough we can social distance and at least I can see people and hopefully we can keep the babies from licking each other?! I need human adult contact as you say. My brain is fuzz. I’m lucky in that I had already flagged up my mental health with my doctors before this so am getting priority support because the feeling of being excluded/forgotten from society is pretty horrendous.

The food boxes are useless and don’t take into account families that have to shield.. I know they had to sort it quickly but agh they are awful. We normally use ocado but they have been pants, no slots for weeks, terrible communication and then half the very basic normal stuff doesn’t arrive.

@Redcherries same here with food obsession, my partner could barely sleep worrying about it... local farm shops are the way forwards it seems. But so expensive. I live in a hamlet where basically everyone is over 70 and shielding - Sainsburies appears to be keeping everyone going.

Well, I will leave. I thought this shielding thread was originally very good, sharing information and, yes, having a moan about it being a bugger that we have conditions that make us particularly liable to suffer from Covid19.

But some of the people on here are making me feel upset and ill. And of course the govt texts have to apply to everyone and anyone. They can't personalise 2million+ texts! If you have a giant garden then naturally you can go outside. But they have to take account of the person living in a tower block. How nice of them to mention in the same text, "Slightly open a window if you're on the 14th floor, but for those of you with lovely big gardens, feel free to wander outside." What a slap in the face for those less fortunate.

If I get coronavirus I'm likely toast. But I am feeling miserable chiefly for my dcs whose future looks at best dreary and at worst shit.

I can feel just as down and, frankly, hopeless, as anyone on this thread. But I can see it's my lot to deal with and I am not going to blame everyone and anyone, be ungrateful and twisted and think it's all about meeeeeeeeee.

If you can’t moan here where can you? I’m not going to be grateful for a box of free food that I can’t eat - tinned meatballs and mouldy onions. It’s a great idea very poorly executed.

I’m happy with the priority delivery slots as I want to be able to buy my food that is suitable for me and my family. Other than that I’ve had nothing, no phone calls, emails etc.

I had a call from my doctors today!
Checking if I needed any help with food or meds. Was a bit bemused she said "aw are you managing to not go out as much"
Me er I've not been out at all, the shielding and all...

@IrmaFayLear if this thread if helping you and you want support then no need to leave. Just please be supportive to others by not criticising people. Nobody want you to feel upset or ill.

Sorry, I'll calm down.

One extra high point was when I got a call from a social worker. Very kind of her to ring, but... she asked, "Do you have a dog you need help with?" So I said, "Well, I did, but he died last week." And she replied, "Well, that's a bit of luck." Obviously not a dog lover!

@IrmaFayLear This isn't the only thread I have seen you posting on in a needlessly argumentative and quite rude manner, and other posters as well as those on this thread have been unhappy with it. Coming into a support thread for shielding people who are struggling and making snide comments about moaning minnies/ungrateful/twisted etc is not supportive or polite. It's fine to have another opinion but you're being rude and upsetting people. Lots of posters have said this to you, you might want to take it on board?

im seriously considering making myself a masdk and going out anyway. Ive possibly already had the virus, i was certainly exposed to soemthing really nasty earlier this year and ive not been so ill in a long time but whether ive had it or not, this shielding is playing havoc with my mental health, ive had to ring my cpn and ask if they could increase my injection, ive started self harming again which i havent done for a long time and im terrified im going to spiral out of control if i dont do....something

Thank you for that. I am just upset that this has become an echo chamber of people griping and being ungrateful for any help. It's so depressing and, indeed, upsetting.

@irmafaylear there’s no need to leave but please appreciate we all have bad days, different opinions, different feelings. I don’t understand every posters fears or thoughts but I will support them and try to help them rather than state why I personally don’t have that thought or fear.

Texts don’t have to be personal but many of us have had no texts, have had to do the legwork to even confirm we are meant to shield, I got a letter six weeks after phoning my dr to find out if I was shielding.

It absolutely is our lot, and as previous posts show people are finding their own ways through this, with walks and various things (obsessive food shopping 😳), but what a lot of people want is more feedback from the gov showing what our path is likely looking forward, it doesn’t need to be set times but an idea of what they are aiming for for us, if there can be even a gentle lift of the advice to us. Even a bit of acknowledgment that we are in an even harder place than the general population, as you’ve said - for many of the shielded there’s a real fear of being toast, of our families futures and how we’re meant to deal with these things. A plan gives a focus even if it’s not a set calendar timeline.

Please stay for support, we are all in this together, different fears, different problems but still a group to vent, support and discuss them with some of the group being on the same page but others helping even if they aren’t.

I'm so sorry to see your dog died that's really shit in the middle of all this.

I think that where we differ is that I (and i think a lot of people) feel that the government is ignoring shielded by not even acknowledging them in speeches. While this is my lot, we are a sizable group and need to be at least acknowledged. It's not unreasonable to think that the government has at least some responsibility for us.

I'm being proactive and doing what I can, but given taht the government can come up with all these plans, the least they could do is maybe tell us they're working on something for us, although no plans are firm yet.

Hi all. Been following this thread for a few days, but haven't had much chance to reply.

I'm a hairs breadth away from the shielded category myself. I've had asthma for 40 yrs. Unfortunately my now retired GP never coded me. And I've spent the last few months trying to explain this to my new GP and how much I'm struggling. Add to that, my Mum who is on the shielded list with cancer and many other underlying conditions (I'm her carer) and I'm a single parent home schooling my DD aged 8. Well it's a right barrell of laughs. However.. I'm nowhere near as vulnerable as some of you. But I was unfortunately in the position 6 months ago to have to scale back my much loved job as a Sports Therapist due to osteo arthritis. And had to take on a part time job working on the tills at Sainsbury's. They have been pretty good to be fair, although I did have to jump through hoops to prove how shit mine and my Mums health was. I have many other health conditions. Most of which are suffering because I can't attend hospital appts like physio, podiatry and I can't get my chest xray. Anyway, I just wanted to share my frustration at the "one size does not fit all" mantra. And we are not all necessarily old. Or unfit. But this situation is not helping.
And yes to the whole Mental Health beats Physical Health diatribe. As if those of us with physical health problems aren't bloody struggling!!

Oh. And @IrmaFayLear please don't berate the very circle you apparently belong to. As others have said, this is a supportive thread. God knows we have had to put up with so much brow beating from elsewhere. Either empathise, or find somewhere else to vent your frustrations.

Irma you're not helping me one bit. Please desist from calling me ungrateful etc. There's just no call to vent your personal frustrations on my opinions.

I’m sorry to hear that you are upset @IrmaFayLear and it’s awful that your dog died in the middle of it all. I do wonder why you are lashing out at us? We’re not all worrying about ourselves at all and it’s strange that you haven’t picked up on how much everyone is worried about how their shielding is going to impact on others including their dcs.

I’m frightened of dd going back to school as she is only 11, she needs her mum, I can’t let me having health concerns prevent her from enjoying her last term at primary school. Can I not air that with people in the same situation? Do I have to keep my opinion to myself about what a terrible job the government is doing because they gave me a few free food boxes??