Chat for those who are shielding

[AuntieSocia1]

Apologies for the very unsnazzy title but as it suggests a place to chat for those who have to shield at the moment. A few of us have been talking on the the Shielding after lockdown thread in the coronavirus topic.

Thought I'd put this in chat as some days I'm guessing we'll want to chat about anything other than coronavirus!

I know all of our circumstances are quite different as well as the reason we need to shield but it's a pretty big thing to have in common. Despite my username I look forward to interacting with you and as my username suggests I might also slink off from time to time!

@IrmaFayLear no it doesn’t make a difference how long they say we have to shield for. Yes my work will allow me to work from home for as long as I need to. School on the other hand, no, and I would feel guilty that my primary children would be left behind when their peers are back at school. It means me relying on other people for school runs. I hate relying on other people for anything as I have to ask when I don’t feel well enough to do things so asking when I feel ok means my independence gets taken away further.

Sorry posted to soon. It’s not supportive to “ inconsistencies in people's thinking.” or to say that people are “moaning” . This thread is to share your own experiences and support others.

Irma surely you can see that it's possible to know that something is for your own good whilst at the same time disliking it?

I think they need to acknowledge us more, I think the general population should be more aware of what shielding actually means and that it is not to protect us, it is to protect the NHS and the general population by stopping us getting ill. So many people are happy to just say its tough, get on with it, how bloody dismissive.

Don't get me wrong, I am getting on with it but I'm in a fortunate position of owning my own business, having older teens and being able to get shopping. I can risk assess myself enough I feel to deal with my risk level and we are using precautions. I haven't quite worked out what to do when DD returns to sixth form with getting her there and back, my DH and DS both work for our family business so I can control what they come in contact with. I have a large garden (could do with some funds to finish off the overhaul we started last year! )

Many of the shielded don't have the luxury of this, starting to work out a more cohesive plan is not just practical but will help peoples mental health, people need information or a plan. Just saying we will review constantly then not really mentioning us again isn't exactly helpful.

@Onmyown1 if you decide not send your dc to school they can be put on code y. The choice will be yours.

My Dad is also shielding and he's retired. So for him staying in until a vaccine is found is do able. He doesn't see many people in normal life anyway. So he's not overly affected.

I intend to return to work as soon as I feel well enough to. Regardless of the shielding advice. I can't work from home. And although I can have a year off on full sick pay, it's not something I want to do. Whether or not companies will allow this I don't know. Maybe insurance purposes or health and safety won't allow?

I'm managing my own risk really. I go out to walk my dogs every morning fairly early before most others are out. I go to hospital every day Monday to Friday which isn't without risk. But to me the risk is far less than the benefit I get from going there.

I've avoided Tesco in the last 2 weeks but have popped into my little local shop. If and when we are allowed to see friends and family I will do that sensibly too.

DH still sees his son who's at school and he still comes here to stay. I just keep out of the way upstairs mostly. I'd feel bad saying he can't see him whilst I'm having treatment. That's a lot time for him not to see DSS.

For me hiding myself away for the rest of the year isn't feasible or something I want to do. However for some people I totally get that it is. And everyone has to assess their own risk and what they are and aren't comfortable with, for themselves and their family.

Once we know a bit more re shielding times, I'll be speaking to my consultant (s) to find out what the exact risk is to me. My understanding is the treatment would be the issue, but the treatment is changing all the time.

Yes, we all have manage our own risk to an extent, but a bit more information from the government wouldn't go amiss. I'm going to write a few letters today to my MP and MSP. I wonder what the response will be given both are SNP so at odds with the government position full stop!

@Chesneyhawkes1
And everyone has to assess their own risk and what they are and aren't comfortable with, for themselves and their family.
Totally agree, with this, we are shielding as a family as can’t socially distance in the home as I need personal care from dh and have disabled dc.
Everyone needs to do what is right for them. The government should support shielding people both emotionally and financially.
It’s a worry that as a self employed person I can’t work as it’s not feasible at home. My dh can’t go to work even though he is a key worker as I can’t isolate from him. Yet I very much doubt we will receive any financial support. We have some savings but we have several dc and high fixed outgoings.

I’m wondering if they might scale down the shielding list after the 12 wk period. We’ll see.

In my case it’s to do with the meds I’m taking for the condition I have, they might find in time that Covid doesn’t pose any more risk to me than others in the vulnerable group?

This is just me musing my own thoughts on here.

@Chesneyhawkes1 I absolutely agree. Once my boyfriend is going out again the risk of him bringing it home anyway will make me staying in completely pretty pointless, I think. I will of course take care - hand washing, going out at quiet times etc etc. But the problems attached to staying in completely would outweigh the potential benefit by that stage, iyswim? Both practically re. the virus, and also mental health wise as I think I would go loopy.

Is anyone else considering potentially lowering/coming off immunosuppressants? I chatted with my GP about it and considering giving it a go - my drugs mainly control arthritis and I'm kind of thinking I could just put up with the pain, to an extent as it seems the lesser of two evils? Although saying that now when I am pain free is one thing whereas doing it when the discomfort starts is, of course, another! Difficult choices ahead for many of us I think.

AldiAisleOfCrap is there any possibility of external carers? Would that enable your DH to continue to work? Absolutely not ideal but just a suggestion.

I'm "lucky" in that I live alone. I've spent lockdown with my parents but will go home once they're able to go out more. It means potentially not seeing them.for a while but I need my own space after what will be 10 weeks with them. I'm not ruling out moving back in at a later date, but I'd have to keep to my own room and out of common areas so I'm as well being at home.

@SweetMarmalade I think you are right that the list may change. Jenny Harries hinted at this.

I hope we get told what the plans are for us tonight (probably not though).

I think the list may change, I know that an official body has stated my condition shouldn't be shielded, but the condition has moved on and out of shielding with constant confusion so I have no idea if I trust anything now. I think a recent study also put my condition at a lower risk than 2 conditions including group 2 obesity at a higher risk and apparently these 2 conditions aren't shielded.

I just feel in limbo until i know either way what the score is. Im housebound a lot anyway so not much has changed in that respect but im missign the routines i had and having visitors and i know the people i live with are missing not being able to have people round because of me and it feels unfair on them to not be able to give them a time frame of when it will end. I know they are doing their best to protect but it still feels massively unfair on them. i guess i just want to know either way what to expect over the coming months and what risks i need to decide im willing to take and how its weighed up in regards to my physical health vs my mental health

AldiAisleOfCrap is there any possibility of external carers?Would that enable your DH to continue to work?Absolutely not ideal but just a suggestion.*

I don’t think so I would be too anxious that a carer would bring the virus into our home. Home carers do not have full ppe nor would they provide it no clients . Plus we have children with autism that don’t understand the concept of social distancing so they would go near their dad and then near me potentially passing the virus.

I was told to absolutely not come off my meds as to do so could cause issues which could potentially land me in hospital, so no scaling back of meds here. I also have to go to the hospital for my infusion and gp for blood test so can’t not leave the house.

Have to admit, I was nervous about going to the hospital a couple of wks ago but all went ok.

This, what redcherries said....I think they need to acknowledge us more, I think the general population should be more aware of what shielding actually means and that it is not to protect us, it is to protect the NHS and the general population by stopping us getting ill. So many people are happy to just say its tough, get on with it, how bloody dismissive.

It's not about "pay us for ever" (doesn't even apply in our circumstances as DH is already on ESA and I'm on a tiny private pension) - it's about not ignoring us, or conveniently forgetting about us ("Stay in and Shut Up" seems to be our message), neither is it assuming that because we have shopping and maybe volunteers to post our letters, our other issues don't count. They DO count...WE do count. Government, tell us your thinking and include us in your plans.

really struggling today, ive just had enough. just want soem normality :(

Exactly Fuzzy. I'm working from home and thats grand while the rest of the world is. But what happens when that stops?

OneNight I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so grotty today. Anything in particular or just the whole relentlessness of it?

its the relentless never ending days blending into one of it all. I have bad mental health even in 'normal' times and its really suffering right now, to the point im going to ask about a medication increase. I guess im just tired of every day beign exactyl the same as the one before it and the one after it and im bloody fed up of sudoku ha

I am so nervous about the statement tonight. I really hope it's still lockdown as otherwise I am absolutely screwed with work and I cannot face losing my job.

Sending love to those that are struggling today.

@OneNightTimeMenaceStrikesBack That was me a few days ago. In the end I totally cracked and went out at 4am (not suggesting you do this).

I feel super anxious that I did it now, but it did sort of help in a weird way. Do you have a garden? I've taken up star spotting which I am finding quite calming.

Lots of love to you.

MonkeyJunk what's your situation? Are your work unlikely to furlough you?

@Methtones I am currently furloughed, it's being reviewed tomorrow :(

I'm an essential worker and cannot fully do my role from home...