Chat for those who are shielding

[AuntieSocia1]

Apologies for the very unsnazzy title but as it suggests a place to chat for those who have to shield at the moment. A few of us have been talking on the the Shielding after lockdown thread in the coronavirus topic.

Thought I'd put this in chat as some days I'm guessing we'll want to chat about anything other than coronavirus!

I know all of our circumstances are quite different as well as the reason we need to shield but it's a pretty big thing to have in common. Despite my username I look forward to interacting with you and as my username suggests I might also slink off from time to time!

Redcherries that’s why I’ve been told to shield too, I haven’t got my spleen (and my son’s the same) and like you I’m otherwise fit and active and only get the occasional cold (again, my son is the same) so to be told last week I’m now this vulnerable has really affected me mentally and I’m struggling.

Apart from my son I don’t know anyone else who is shielding. I’m not sure how we’re going to deal with this as time goes on as my husband expects to be back at work by the end of the month and my other son starts teaching in September. My son who is also shielding is a first year apprentice, the only thing he can do at home is his college coursework but obviously not the practical and I’m very worried about how this will affect his job. I’m also worrying about the fact that he can’t see his girlfriend of 18 months.
We are going out for dog walks though, neither of us are people who can stay in and do nothing so we need to do this for our sanity. Having said that, up until last Thursday we were both living as normally as lockdown would allow and my son was at his workplace which is an engineering factory when he was called by the GP surgery to inform him that he should now be shielding.

I love that roll call. It's an acknowledgement of us, of self, of what we're doing. I get tired of folk moaning about only going for one walk, or how horrid the supermarket is or how can they possibly do this for another fortnight?. Not denying that at all, but I dream of choosing my own vegetables and not rationing the milk because we're running out again.

Having said that, we sneaked out for a walk on the beach yesterday. Twice in two months! The car needed a run ( it's 5 miles to the beach) and our mental health needed a boost big time. Very lucky to be able to do it ( only 2 other cars in the car park and about 8 other people on a mile long beach). I'm losing all the fitness I had which isn't good.

@MadisonAvenue it’s a really strange feeling isn’t it. I was in New Orleans when the borders closed and they announced shielding, I guessed we would likely be on the list so travelling home was really unsettling. Before then we had been taking really intense precautions but no one around us seemed to be at all, we traveled through Boston, Canada and then New Orleans over several weeks and I don’t think I saw one other person use hand sanitizer until the last 2 days.

I’ve been out 3 times since then, one walk, one trip for vaccinations and one drive to check on a work site after it had closed.

There are some support groups for splenectomy patients (I don’t consider myself a patient I just can’t think of the right term) if you search on Facebook, No Spleen is one and splenectomy support group is another, if you wanted to find somewhere discussing the situation around our condition. Both are really friendly groups.

Just adding my name onto the board. Already on there but have NC.

Past few days have been shit. Have some extended family stuff going on and feeling awful because there is nothing I can do to help as I can't leave the house.

I just want people to acknowledge that what we are having to do is shit, and not do the whole "it's for your own safety" spiel. I want to moan about it I don't want sympathy, let me moan FFS!

Think I'm just missing interaction with anyone outside my family, as lovely as they are, they're tiring at times.

Hello, please can I join you!? I have been shielding (asthma) for nearly 8 weeks now - not set foot outside the house or garden, but I only got my letter last week.

We're lucky in a lot of ways as it's just me and my wife and we have a large garden. Getting delivery slots has been hard, but I'm on Tesco's priority list now.

My worries are for my wife - she's a teacher and currently teaching online, but who knows when the schools will go back!? She also has asthma, a history of pneumonia and scarring on her lungs, yet she didn't get a shielding letter! We are both shielding together and have already had discussions about what to do if she's called back into school before the summer holidays. We could ask for furlough (independent school) or otherwise I think it would have to be unpaid leave for a while (but could only last so long doing that). The same would go for me... I used to teach but I'm a part-time TA now. I'm furloughed (independent school as well) but I think having the letter will perhaps give me better options with school.

I did see on Sky News yesterday a piece about easing lockdown saying that there would be 3 catagories of people - the shielded, who would need to stay shielding and be given extra support, those who live with the shielded & their carers... and everyone else... so perhaps provision will be made??

I have very elderly parents and they are also both shielding (my mum has a letter) - I'm getting online deliveries for them as well.

I feel like my lockdown is very different to a lot of peoples - they seem very discontented with only exercising once a day etc, whereas that feels like such a luxury to me.

I've seen so many threads on Mumsnet with people saying it's time to 'get a grip', that we'll all get it anyway, that we're only protecting the NHS (rather than people) that the economic effect is worse that the virus etc etc and I feel like so many people don't really care what happens to those of us in vulnerable positions... which is my entire family!

@outnumberedwoman 100% agree about being programmed not to make a fuss. It really can be to our detriment though I’m trying to stop but it’s difficult!

@cantarina school is so hard isn’t it. I have the same dilemma as my dc is due to start this year. I can’t envision him not going and I also can’t imagine possibly trying to shield from him. Feels like an impossible scenario so I’m in the head in the sand camp for now

@egghead so nice to hear your good news, pleased for you!

@redcherries, cocooning does seem cosier! It must be so frustrating to feel well typically and surprising for your friends and family to accept you are higher risk. I know a lot of colleagues etc will be surprised I’m higher risk. Before all thIs I would have been strangely proud of that but this situation is making me reassess how I think of myself and others with conditions

@madisonavenue this really is such a mental struggle especially if the need to shield has come as a shock

@FuzzyPuffling I’m glad you like the roll call, the intention really was to acknowledge all of us. Very cliche but we are in this together and it helps not to feel alone in this situation

@OculusThrift happy NC! Glad to have you with us. Feel free to vent. This situation is shit!!!

@Pebble21uk welcome, glad you got deliveries sorted out. So hard to be worrying for yourself and extended family. I am trying to quieten down the what if scenarios but I’m not always successful

I’d really like to make the effort to acknowledge all of us as much as I can. May struggle from time to time but I have this urge to remind everyone shielding that we all matter and deserve to be heard

Hi there, got my shielding letter two weeks ago followed by call from GP. Had breast cancer 8 years ago and still on tamoxifen. I've registered on government website but stated don't need help with food etc at the moment as I have an annual Sainsburys delivery pass and delivery slots haven't been an issue since start of lockdown (didn't know then I should be shielding ). However, I'd like to ensure I'm registered as vulnerable with supermarkets in case Sainsburys pull the plug on my delivery pass slots. Does anyone know if I need to tick the box as 'yes I do need help getting food' on government extremely vulnerable registration page for that to be passed to supermarkets? I don't need a freebie box of supplies delivering though! Hope you're all coping ok.

We're all on here and can acknowledge not only the existence of each other, but the very particular difficulties we are facing.

I am worried about what will happen if lockdown is eased for most people and we are left stranded
As pebbles said, they talk about "extra help" but since current help is so very thin i have no idea what they are thinking of offering us. An, like everyone else, all we really want to do us see our families and friends, choose our own groceries and have a walk outside.

Ds needed a routine change of his mic-key button today so we had a visitor!!

The nurse was fully PPE’d up as you would expect and I had to stay at the opposite end of the room (thankfully Ds is a star when it comes to these things) but it was nice to talk to someone different

Fuzzy that’s on my mind too. On another thread someone posted a link to a Guardian article which mentioned extra help for those shielding but the way it read to me the article was referring to people who have care needs anyway due to ill health or who are on their own and the over 70s.

My husband will be returning to work in a few weeks, my son will be working in a school from September. I know we’re instructed to isolate ourselves in the home from people who are able to live their normal-ish lives but what kind of existence is that?

I’m not coping very well today.

Shielding Sheila

Yes say you can't get supplies and then you will get slots. I got a free food box too but it says inside that you can refuse the next one when it's delivered.

VaTeLaverLesMains - thank you

Thank you for the roll call, it is comforting (although of course shit) to know that others are in the same boat. And hello to "new" posters - we are The Club No One Wants To Be In I think!

I much prefer the term cocooning. Well I actually prefer the term hibernating, but I don't think it will catch on

Hello everyone, can I join you.
I live alone and have been shielding since I came out of hospital at the end of March. I had a bone marrow transplant in Feb and it was my third attempt of being discharged. This time they put a care package in place for up to 6 weeks and I have improved so much that I don't need them. It's going to be strange that no one is going to be calling in to see me and I will have to get used to be completely on my own.

I still get my weekly trip by ambulance to hospital for now but in some ways I feel that I am recovering at the right time. I am not strong enough to go for a walk and none of my friends are going out without me so I'm not missing out.

I cant imagine how shielding will ever end, it's not going to go away. My old mum who is 88 keeps wanting to come and look after me, she comes and waves from the front of the house every week but it's getting harder to stop her coming in.

@ShieldingSheila I would Rick yes just so you can get the priority if needed.

If you get a food box, you can tell them that you don't need them as have regular food delivery slots.

Hi @ceecee32 that’s great that you have improved enough not to need carers but I imagine pretty lonely without visits. Your friends sound lovely btw.
Do you have a garden that you can sit out in for fresh air?

I actually know five other people who are shielding. I must move in unhealthy circles .
Finding it hard hearing other people talk about lockdown easing and their plans to visit friends family. I am pleased for them but pretty sure our family will be shielding for a long while yet.
I wish the government would let us know.

@AldiAisleOfCrap most of my family are shielding (parents, cousins, brother, best friend) so I must move in the same type of unhealthy circles! has

My fibromyalgia fatigue has kicked up a notch today so I have felt a bit bleugh! Managed to do some homeschooling with DC1 and DH done some speech therapy exercises with Dc2. Then got an email from the education department with a huge form to fill in regarding DC2. They have agreed to do a statutory assessment of his special educational needs but needed us to complete this form regarding what difficulties we think he has. He has severely speech delayed and has no concept of danger and he isn't potty trained and is being assessed for autism. He is only 4 but we wanted the assessment done now so that he can go to a special school as we know he would never cope in mainstream and wanted everything in place from the start rather having to change schools and unsettle him further. I just hope and pray they agree to give him a statement and that he can go to the special school as I know they could.do so much for him and I really believe he would thrive there.

One good thing at least the antibiotics seem to be working and the absess in my tooth is not as sore. The wound from getting the other tooth extracted is still quite painful though but at least when it heals up it will not give me anymore trouble so that is a bonus - one less tooth to give me trouble!! Still it would be nice to be able get some sleep if the pain would let me!

Hello can I join too?

My 2 DC are asthmatic so are shielded. I’m lucky as I didn’t work before CV (due to illness), so I don’t have money to worry about and can stay at home 24/7 with them. But we live in a small 2 bed flat with a communal garden so can’t go into that. We haven’t left our home for 8 weeks. I’m also a single mom so am feeling really lonely.

@AldiAisleOfCrap I’m glad I’m not the only one feeling that way. I had a small meltdown last night when I read about pub gardens potentially opening soon, one of the biggest things I miss is a long country walk with a glass of wine in the sun, I’m so so jealous people might be doing that soon. It’s unreasonable of me, I am pleased they will ease lock down but I’m jealous and scared for my family.

There’s so much fuss about the general lockdown, understandably, we seem to just be forgotten yet most people will have some normalcy in weeks and we have no idea what’s happening with us.

The big fuss in the press this week about over 70s being locked away in their homes was a complete misconception of the guidelines, yet we hardly get a mention.

Does anyone know whether Boris Johnson is going to announce an extension to shielding on Sunday?

Treated myself to a Waitrose delivery which is coming this morning - highlight of my week! Hope I have the energy to put it away (have Covid).

Morning @Egghead68 I’m up as Iceland delivered just gone 6, not a treat for me but after 7 weeks of healthy home cooking my older teens craved some beige, I’ve been washing dairy Lea dunkers and environment shaped chicken things, chicken dippers and there’s enough ice lollies for a family of 8. I should never have given them access to my account! Oddly, I’ve been up meeting the delivery and washing it then putting it away and they are both fast asleep!

I’m hoping they might ease shielding to make us feel safe enough to have a walk, get outside but I expect the length of the shielding period to be increased.

I feel for you chunky... shielding in a flat must be very hard. I feel very privilaged to have a garden at the moment. How many people do you share your communal garden with? I don't suppose there's any chance you could have a small daily slot when just you can use it?

I think the media is beginning to turn the tide on the 'stay home' message - even the BBC was running a piece this morning about, 'Is it time to free the healthy from restrictions?' It will be very tough when we see others getting back to some kind of normal. The only silver lining (besides not catching the virus - hopefully!) is that as people gravitate back to their usual habits, perhaps there won't be so many people out walking around. My suburban road has never seen so many people out for a walk... maybe we can find a few open spaces once it's deemed safe enough.

Welcome @ShieldingSheila @ceecee32 & @chunkycoke

As someone up thread said not exactly the most desirable club in town but glad you found us

I said I was going to try not to speculate but it's hard not to think about Sunday's announcements and what this means for us. I had my most tearful day yesterday. I'm not typically someone who cries a lot but it just all got a bit much. Snapped at my DH last night too as he was innocently reading out some news but it tipped me over the edge. On the plus side I have a few days off work now to try and get myself together a bit.

@Pebble21uk I had the same conversation with my husband this morning, he won't consider a walk in our area as he says its really busy now, its a lovely place to walk but used to be quite quiet. It would be nice if I could go for a walk there!