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Original poster

Has DH gone overboard for DC's birthday?

116 replies

memblemumble · 21/04/2020 08:23

I'd say so. It'll be her third birthday. DH said he'd pick out the stuff to give me one less thing to think about. He's not clueless and I trust his judgement but I think it's overboard. I suggested saving some for Christmas but he says it's not necessary. He's ordered:

A baby born bottle house with an extra doll
Fishing game
Princess vanity case
Ballerina doll (that moves)
Ballerina costume
Toy till and some accessories to go with it
Toy camera
A fire engine that you sit on and it moves
Some paints
A fur real bunny
Some instrument toys

I'd say that's a bit much and keep 3-4 for Christmas? He says it's not too much but she's only 3?

OP posts:

GrimmsFairytales · 21/04/2020 09:38

I'm guessing Bloom and Wild is meant to be Mud and Bloom!

Ah that makes much more sense. I couldn't imagine a 3 year old being excited about flowers each month.

BasilDiffuser · 21/04/2020 09:43

Sounds about right to me. My DD is three tomorrow. She is meant to have a birthday party on Saturday but obviously that’s not happening now.
I’ve got her quite a bit because she’s my world and her world has stopped. She deserves lots of lovely things and the excitement of unwrapping them. I got her two big ticket items because she is no longer getting a party or a cake specially made for her. I have probably spent less as the cake alone was £70 and the party was up to £200. When it comes to her I would never say no because of money.
My child is not a spoilt child but she is a treated child.
You seem strange not wanting your child to be spoilt on there birthday.

Porcelainskin · 21/04/2020 09:45

Bloody hell that's loads! DD the same age in May is getting one from DH, one from me and one from her sister. Three really good quality toys. She'll get other bits from grandparents. I'd want to be saving some of those for Xmas.

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Mollymalone123 · 21/04/2020 09:45

I would keep some back.when my dc were that age they would rip open presents and quickly move onto the next one, perhaps one toy in particular would be played with over and over.Good idea to give her the game as at least it would be an activity you could do altogether in lockdown

raspberryk · 21/04/2020 09:46

Possibly a little, but it depends how you do things as a family. Not sure why people think this would be ok for Xmas and not for birthday, we only give 4 items at Xmas (want, need, wear, read). But birthdays are a bigger deal in general in our family and we don't buy any toys at any other point in the year so it needs to be enough for the year.
She's not going to be getting many other presents or a party so at the moment it's fine.

WTFdidwedo · 21/04/2020 09:49

I don't think the number is too much but there's probably more "big ticket" type stuff than we'd normally do for birthdays. However I bought my two year far more than I ordinarily would've for her birthday last week because we're not spending money on soft play or farms and we're stuck inside all the time so the more toys the better! We split hers over two days though, as we would've if she'd had a separate party. We also haven't unboxed all of them yet to not overwhelm her but 3 is probably a bit harder to control.

Ninkanink · 21/04/2020 09:58

I don’t think it’s too much. But she’s only little, and seeing as we’re in lockdown, I’d give her half the presents on her birthday and then let her open a bonus one every day after lunch, to spread out the excitement and to ensure she doesn’t become overwhelmed.

CantSleepClownsWillEatMe · 21/04/2020 10:04

It’s a bit more than we would have bought for ours at the same age but then they would have received 6 - 8 additional gifts from GPs, aunts and uncles. I don’t think it’s crazy or insane (but it’s great to see MNers can still get their judgy knickers and competitive frugalness on ).

He’s chosen a nice selection of gifts - toys, games, crafts and dress up, all played with in different ways. Bearing in mind that social distancing restrictions will likely be in place for some time, she’ll probably get a lot of use out of this variety of gifts.

If it’s the case that she’ll get loads more from relatives and friends then maybe some could be given from granny or whoever as a compromise?

DivaRainbow · 21/04/2020 10:05

I think your DH did really well

Smelborp · 21/04/2020 10:06

It seems a lot to me although they’re lovely choices. You could put them aside for a week or two more into the lockdown - keep the novelty up!

sugarplumfairy28 · 21/04/2020 10:10

My DD was 9 a couple of weeks ago and we got her
Nintendo Wii U (second hand)
Disney infinity (second hand)
Hatchimals mystery egg
Large nerf gun and a target
Bath bomb kit
Walkie talkies
Charm bracelet making kit
Sylvanian families triplet set and beds
TY teddy
Magnetic shapes/building game

Her Nanny was meant to be flying in (we're abroad) to be with her on her birthday for the 1st time in 6 years, we were meant to going on a day trip to a zoo, she also didn't get her class 'present' or card, she didn't get to see her best friend either. She had 3 presents posted to her from family, and one IOU for a trip to the second hand shop where she 'rescues' unwanted teddies. I'm not ashamed at what we bought her, I would have gotten her books but for Christmas she only wanted books and I bought her 70.

Thisismytimetoshine · 21/04/2020 10:12

God, there's no correlation between people who give their kids some decent toys for their birthday and those who hire limos for their Year 6 leavers.

absea · 21/04/2020 10:14

Too much, unless no-one else is buying. I'd save some for Christmas or let family members give some of them.

Iwalkinmyclothing · 21/04/2020 10:17

I can't believe the people here who think it's ok, presumably you will be the parents ordering a limo for your kids' Y6 "graduation

Uh, no? Why on earth would you think liking to give a fair amount of presents to a child on their birthday means you would at some point hire a limo? That's the oddest association I've heard in a while!

bloodyhellsbellsx · 21/04/2020 10:18

I agree with basil! I love to treat my DD so I would say it’s not too much at all! Your husband has done a great job.

Ninkanink · 21/04/2020 10:19

A limo. 🙄🙄 don’t be ridiculous.

AlwaysCheddar · 21/04/2020 10:19

It’s fine!

BubbleBathLover · 21/04/2020 10:21

I think it completely depends on the family and there is no right or wrong. But I definitely think you are being unfair in thinking that you can make the final decision. You agreed that your DH would take responsibility for buying the presents and you can’t then say he hasn’t done it right. Maybe spread them out through the day and take it as a learning experience to do it yourself next time if you are going to want it done a certain way.

mummmy2017 · 21/04/2020 10:23

A lot of things he bought seem to be share toys.
Were he interacts with his child .
Fishing game needs someone to play with.
He got her a toy rabbit.
A doll to play make believe.
Musical instruments encourage as well.
Can you just let it go this time, so many of us would love a parent who did this, stop looking for the wrong.

IsAnybodyListening · 21/04/2020 10:29

Nah, that is fine. At least toys are fairly cheap when they are little. Wait till she's a teen a wants a phone/laptop etc...

CinderellasSecrets · 21/04/2020 10:30

It sounds fine to me, but it definitely depends on the family and your perception will be different depending on how your birthdays as a child were. I think my partner goes OTT in terms of how many toys our children have, but he thinks I go overboard for making birthday cakes, decorating the living room and having things all set up perfectly well my version of perfect anyway the night before.

There is no right or wrong, children won't turn out to be ungrateful or entitled simply because they get spoilt on special occasions - a lot more goes into it than that.

INeedNewShoes · 21/04/2020 10:40

It sounds a lot if they'll be receiving presents from many other people as well but if its all they'll receive then not too much.

DD is about to turn three and the list you've posted will probably amount to the total number of presents she receives this year (a bit less than usual as we won't be seeing people and I don't expect people to go to the hassle of buying and sending to us).

DD's presents from me are:

A balance bike & helmet
Snakes & Ladders game
A jigsaw puzzle
An activities book
A gingerbread man biscuit cutter
A pair of shorts & a couple of t shirts which I'll wrap together

My parents are getting her a ride on tractor and my auntie has got her some gardening tools.

RosieBooBoo · 21/04/2020 10:49

I think its fine, I've went a bit overboard for my DC birthday this week too! Her normal world has been turned upside down so I'm going to enjoy spoiling her! I would be more than a bit miffed if my DH started moaning it was too much & trying to control how the presents were opened. Just enjoy it and chill out.

HotCrossBungle · 21/04/2020 10:52

I think that's a lot but perhaps because there will be no gifts from other family members because of Lockdown?

HotCrossBungle · 21/04/2020 10:54

Books can be essentials and still bought as gifts!

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