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Original poster

Anyone else rethinking their future?

27 replies

Goostacean · 16/04/2020 23:08

Toddler much happier at home than nursery, I’m not excited about returning to my job after mat leave especially as promotion schedules have all shifted now... This slower pace of life would be great without restrictions on going out. Anyone else rethinking the next 3-5years, and where that could take them?

OP posts:
Dickorydockwhatthe · 16/04/2020 23:19

Yes not sure what though 😬 I have moments where I want my life back and moments where I don't want to got back to my stressful job

OhioOhioOhio · 16/04/2020 23:19

Yes. Me too. Think I'd like to study.

ssd · 16/04/2020 23:25

I've seen a lot of posts on here about how parents can't possibly cut their hours to spend more time at home with the kids when they are young. Usually anyone suggesting it gets slaughtered. Or accused of selling out or having a rich man.
Anyway, I hope this crisis us showing done of you that it is possible to spend less, gave less, want less, but be time rich, time with your child. You don't get it back, no matter what you do. When they become teenagers their friends are their lives, you become less important.

So if you can, reassess life, give up some of the things you felt were so important and just be with your child,when they are young. And don't regret it, you might loose your place on the career ladder, you might not have the car, the holidays, etc that your friends have, but you've had time seeing your child grow up.

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Families
Poetryinaction · 16/04/2020 23:35

Yes I am thinking of becoming a childminder or foster carer.

Mrschip · 16/04/2020 23:53

I am considering that it might not be safe for my dc to start secondary school in September. I have noticed that she is so much happier and unstressed now and have been thinking about more flexible education in the long term. I had just finished an agency contract and now can't work. I have applied for a few home- based jobs and would love for a more relaxed pace from now on

EasyPleasey · 17/04/2020 06:58

No, I like going to work, even though its stressful at times. I also like going to the cinema, planning treats, trips etc

I still see my kids plenty but without working we would have very little and this has confirmed I would definitely be miserable.

Original poster
Goostacean · 17/04/2020 09:15

I definitely don’t want to study! Did a PhD so I did my time, was certainly happy to hit the Real World. But I can see why it’s a good option for others, for sure.

I don’t fully agree with ssd, I want to be able to give my children nice things, especially as they get older- and staying in work aids that. Likewise DH has no intention of scaling back, and I want my boys to see women succeeding outside the home too. But maybe a nanny, ie one single caregiver, is preferable to nursery...?

OP posts:
PersonaNonGarter · 17/04/2020 09:21

I am thinking but that is only because I may be forced to come up with solutions to the downturn.

I love my job but it may not need me as much as it did. I need to think creatively about maintaining our income but... it is so nice to be at home with DC and not leaving at 7am and coming home after 8pm.

TheWooisStrong · 17/04/2020 09:23

We want to move to a bigger house, away from town and people.
DH has a reliable job, mine I’m not entirely sure of past the summer, but the lockdown has made me realised how much we spend isn’t necessary.

DroppedBoxxedRuth · 17/04/2020 09:25

Yes.

I've continued working because I like it, not because we need me to.

And now I'm home schooling dd1, I'm kind of glad my role has been made redundant.

I'm probably going to give myself 12-18 months and then see if I want to return to the workforce.

Original poster
Goostacean · 17/04/2020 19:33

DH would love me not to go back as it would make his life much easier! And would happily support me running a lifestyle business. But there are two main issues for me: where does that lead? It would be very hard, if not impossible, to access the opportunities my job gives me from a startup. And is this really a good time, with a major recession looming?

OP posts:
Waxonwaxoff0 · 17/04/2020 20:04

No, I hate this way of life and can't wait to get back to normal. But I may be forced to change my plans if I end up being made redundant which gets more and more likely the longer lockdown goes on. Sad

NeverTwerkNaked · 17/04/2020 20:07

No. I see how much my children miss their school friends and their hobbies. I feel lucky to have a job I love and can do from home. And glad DH and I both work in fairly secure jobs so it is very very unlikely we would both be out of work.

NeverTwerkNaked · 17/04/2020 20:08

Does your DH have a very secure job Op? Because I wouldn't want to be reliant on one income stream right now.

wheresmymojo · 17/04/2020 20:13

I was saying on another thread earlier that I specialise in helping women escape the rat race when they don't know what they want to do next. Getting quite busy with the amount of interest!

Temple29 · 17/04/2020 20:28

Yes. I’m so happy to be home with DS full time and really dreading returning to my job. I’ve realized how much I miss during the week (DS is only one) and how stressed and unhappy I’ve been.

I’m due another baby in September so would return to work in the short term (depending on lockdown etc) and then see what I want to do after maternity leave.

ChewChewIsMySpiritAnimal · 17/04/2020 20:30

I want my boys to see women succeeding outside the home too. But maybe a nanny, ie one single caregiver, is preferable to nursery...?

I assume you mean a male nanny? Otherwise there's a certain irony there.

nopenothappening · 17/04/2020 20:41

I'm curious, how are you assessing that your child is happier out of nursery? Why are you so confident that it's not novelty factor (we don't pull kids out of school because they love the holidays)? What are you comparing to - if you don't normally see how your child is during the day how do you know they're better or worse or the same?

But anyway I do agree this is an opportunity to pause and evaluate things we don't normally reflect on to see if they still work for us (or ever worked for us).

Slave2love · 17/04/2020 20:43

It's made me realise that I really want to move away to somewhere without neighbours. I wish we could afford to do it but it's not an option as yet. I would also like my husband to work from home on a more regular basis. Theres no reason why cant as hes been doing it for the last 3 weeks but I doubt his boss will allow it. Its all made me realise how much I want to get away from my home town, travel and experience somewhere new.

BrutusMcDogface · 17/04/2020 20:45

I might have to go back to work (teacher, currently sahm) sooner than originally planned, but I hated teaching by the end. I’m kind of wondering if things might have improved in education after all this....?!

ArriettyJones · 17/04/2020 20:45

Yes. I was (am?) a contractor and my work has just disappeared. I’ve missed being busy but have realised I don’t miss the exact type of work that has been my bread and butter.

I also have a minor disability, which makes all the driving and office meetings painful. It’s been quite nice to do scraps of work propped up on the sofa with hot wheat bags on my painful parts. WFH is, as you say, a much better pace of life,

Two of my D.C. are young adults and will be off soon. I want to enjoy my last decade with the youngest and be more present generally.

So, yes, lots of ideas churning about. I bet thousands of people are thinking similarly.

Original poster
Goostacean · 17/04/2020 21:10

Well the nanny would be working outside her OWN home...! Grin

Yes, I think both DH and I are in stable professions. I just don’t enjoy mine.

OP posts:
redeyetonowheregood · 17/04/2020 21:38

I work in the NHS and a university and absolutely love my jobs. This epidemic has just strengthened my deep appreciation for my profession (nursing). I miss seeing my students face to face and am not enjoying online teaching as much...but I am enjoying not commuting as much as usual. My children are still in school three days a week when I am working for the NHS, so although things have changed a bit, it isn't so different for us as for many families just now. My children are much much happier though without the pressure of proper school and all the friendship issues that comes with being a girl in year 5.

PrimeraVez · 18/04/2020 03:55

Yes definitely rethinking a lot of things.

We’ve been expats for ten years now but this whole situation has made us both quite homesick and knowing that we couldn’t just jump on a plane to the UK if there was (god forbid) an issue with either of our families is deeply unsettling.

I think we have also been quite guilty of getting sucked into the money driven lifestyle that is so prevalent where we are. Just spending time in the garden with the kids, not rushing about here there and everywhere and worrying about which car to upgrade to has been a bit of an epiphany.

Also we both seem to be ‘joking’ quite a lot at the moment about a third baby, which before was a real no go topic.

eldeeno · 18/04/2020 04:06

Yep, the time to sit back and think through my priorities made me apply for a new job. I got it abs am looking forward to a new role when all this is over (same field, different responsibilities).