My friend isn't talking to me because I wouldn't meet up tonight.

[HarrySnotter]

Friend texted earlier to say that since we've all been 'pretty much' isolating for the past three weeks she was just going to pop over for a cuppa.

I said nope and now she's not talking to me and said I was being a 'sheep and a bit pathetic'.

For context - I'm shielding and DD is also vulnerable. Her DH is a front line key worker so is at work every day and in no way isolating due to the nature of his job. I literally have no idea why she would even consider this to be a good idea. I'm not overly fussed; we're friends mostly because of DC's really, but she clearly thinks I'm being precious about this. I just think she's being ridiculous (at best) and no fucking way am I putting my DD at risk. Or myself.

People are really odd sometimes aren't they?

@BabbleBee can you find the thread?

I'm definitely cutting her off - which isn't like me but I just can't be arsed with this kind of drama tbh.

Have any of your mutual friends met up with her ?

Hmm I don't know, I'd be surprised. I don't really want to ask because it sounds like I'm bitching iykwim?

I don’t blame you op.
I would do the same.

8 more messages?! What's her problem?!

Better to be a sheep then die from corona!
She really is a dick and I think you have had a lucky escape from this friendship.

Oh yes, I wouldn’t ask either. You’re right it would look like stirring.
It’s just that she seems (from my very limited perspective) to think that you are being so incredibly unreasonable, that maybe she has been meeting up with others anyway. Which is why your reaction was so strange to her.
I

Even if she's thick as mince and can't grasp why she can't come for a cuppa, a 'friend' would have replied 'ok no problem see you when this is over', not responded in the way she did. She is no friend.

As you said she's not really a true friend!

A true friend wouldn't even put you in that situation.

Stick to your guns OP & keep safe 💐

Eight messages whinging? I can't believe a grown woman gets her DH to contact yours, that's so childish. Well, that's her off the Christmas card list

No, someone who was a 'sheep and a bit pathetic' would allow her to bully them into letting her visit. What you are is intelligent, realistic and strong minded.

This.

Hopefully you mean ex friend now OP!

I've given a friend the heave ho during lockdown. We're on day 42 of isolation - its a new normal for us but I wont lie some days I just want the house to myself. It doesn't mean tho that we should just break the rules because we're bored or restless or missing people!

My ex friend works in a care home but has been extremely careless about going out all the time, having parties and was in the pub the night they closed celebrating her last night of freedom. Now there are confirmed cases where she works and she's posting loads of stuff about them not being protected with the right PPE - hasn't considered that possibly she is the source?

These people are not our friends.... I'd block and steer clear tbh, and well done for sticking to your guns x

If neither had been out for a few weeks at all then I dont see the harm. But 'pretty much' isnt good enough.

That being said: your friend is nuts. And not your friend. That reaction smacks of something a narcissist or similar cluster b would give. Block her number.

She thinks you're a crap friend?! You could always ask her what sort of friend that makes her, by appearing to forget that you're recovering from cancer and that her thoughtless suggestion puts you at serious risk.

If you wanted to say anything to her I'd actually say "no YOU are not much of a friend to me, knowing I've had cancer and my dd is immune suppressed and you wan to put us at risk over a cuppa. Lockdown is hard on everyone."

I suspect it's best to ignore and move on though, you can't argue with stupid. As pp said a sheep would roll over and do what she wants and she can't cope with her bullying tactics not working hence the texts .

How do you know this absolute moron friend?
How long have you known her?
Are your DP's friends ?

Cut her off. She sounds like a vile bully.

My ex friend works in a care home but has been extremely careless about going out all the time, having parties and was in the pub the night they closed celebrating her last night of freedom. Now there are confirmed cases where she works and she's posting loads of stuff about them not being protected with the right PPE - hasn't considered that possibly she is the source?

This is awful @Serendipity79.

If neither had been out for a few weeks at all then I dont see the harm. But 'pretty much' isnt good enough.

But where do you draw the line @Shadowdoor21? We both have partners who have been out in shops (even though neither she or I have) - her DH working in a care home etc., but even if they hadn't, I feel if people start making exceptions then it just keeps pushing the boundary if you know what I mean?

@Otherrooms I know her through a club our DS's do (which incidentally I have been picking her DS up from for the few weeks before lockdown as her working hours changed - she can bloody well sort something else out now). Our DH's know each other but aren't particular friends. Her DH is a bit of a busy body I've never really taken to him.