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Original poster

I HATE video calls

53 replies

Sunbo · 15/04/2020 18:58

I hate feeling the pressure to have video calls with friends and family. I am actually enjoying not having to do my hair or wear make up every day at the moment, the last thing I want to do is video call someone!

I feel I am having to do it for other people, ie for grandparents so they can see my kids/ their grandchildren and for my sister so she can see her nephews. I am really not that bothered and could do without it! I am exhausted from managing my two young boys all day long!

Having to face time with my sons school friends which means I am also involved With it as he is only 5! So I end up appearing on screen too.

Obviously I must be an introvert! The worst was my DH doing a family call with our boys and his family, and then they were like ‘where is your mummy?’...’go and get her!’ I obviously looked so rude by not then joining... but I wasn’t ‘screen ready’. Eugh I hate it!! Anyone else?!

OP posts:
1hamwich4 · 15/04/2020 19:46

Me too. I dislike having my privacy disturbed by someone who isn’t a guest in my house.

Actually I’m finding the constant phone calls to elderly relatives quite trying now because I am obviously a horrible person

I just don’t have that much to say at the best of times, let alone when fuck-all is happening in our lives because we’re all stuck at home. I don’t want to rake over trivia like the weather and I’d rather not discuss my job worries either.

Mercifully my six year old is happy to ramble on at length and doesn’t notice that the other end of the phone isn’t really listening to what he says.

custodiandiscount · 15/04/2020 19:50

I've not suggested video calls to my mother for this reason. Also I can't be arsed faking being interested while she whinges about the neighbours and describes her piles giving her jip for the nth time that week.

And you have to sit in one place and you can't do boring cleaning multitasking at the same time!

Original poster
Sunbo · 15/04/2020 19:51

Yes I find it painful...”what have you been up to?”...err, hanging out in the garden?!

OP posts:
Original poster
Sunbo · 15/04/2020 19:52

@custodiandiscount I have not suggested them but everyone now seems to want to do them?!

OP posts:
TheCanyon · 15/04/2020 19:58

We've just endured a long ass video call with the dt's friend. Luckily we are fairly good friends with the mum so plenty to catch up on in awkwardly quiet moment but by fuck I'd much rather the two min school drop off chat.

Janaih · 15/04/2020 20:01

And everyone wants to host a bloody quiz! Confused

Sparklingbrook · 15/04/2020 20:03

I am slowly getting used to it. I have a Facetime chat with DB/DSIL and my parents twice a week. DB has a new baby and it's lovely to see him as there's going to be no cuddles anytime soon.

I do get a bit distracted though looking at myself and wondering if I really look like that. Grin

hopeishere · 15/04/2020 20:03

I generally hate talking on the phone. I an just about talk to my sister. My SiL keeps video calling me but i refuse to answer. I also refuse to put my camera on for work skype calls.

Ineverdidmind · 15/04/2020 20:14

I hate it too. I'm not doing it and I am well and truly the bad guy.
I have too much on my plate to give a stuff.

Sootybear · 15/04/2020 20:15

I love video calling my adult dd, and I would like to video call my dm, but she wouldn't be able to do it, and I'm not sure her phone would let her. It was lovely video calling my lovely friend in Australia, but anyone else? No. Luckily no one else has tried to video call me.

Original poster
Sunbo · 15/04/2020 20:20

The problem is people don’t just video call me, they message me first to schedule a call at a particular time, so it’s impossible to avoid it, I obviously can’t have excuses like I am going out somewhere!!

OP posts:
1hamwich4 · 15/04/2020 20:36

The first one with my mother involved loads of whittling on about getting the camera facing right and interrupting every two or three seconds to complain that the signal was going funny because that’s what you can expect with a shitty cheap underpowered smartphone until I was ready to tear my own face off.

Kljnmw3459 · 15/04/2020 20:40

I don't mind if it's my family members, they've already seen me at my worst. But having to manage the kids' video calls is awful, I hardly know the other parents and don't want to do small talk on screen. Also, in-laws are tricky especially when I have to use a third language that I'm not fluent in.

BookWitch · 15/04/2020 20:41

I don't like them. I use Skype for work (alway have, not a new thing) and I've never liked it. I deal with it though because it's my job.

Now I have to video call in my free time too. I do for my mum because she is on her own for the foreseeable, but I keep it to a minimum for everyone else.

I am a natural introvert though.

chickenyhead · 15/04/2020 20:45

I detest it. I hate calls instead of texts anyway but the last thing I want is anyone seeing my facial expressions.

It is mandatory at work now too. Just no.

RichardMarxisinnocent · 15/04/2020 20:51

I am an introvert, but live alone and am working from home and am incredibly lonely, and missing face to face human interaction. In normal times I am quite happy to spend most evenings and an occasional weekend not seeing anyone, but nearly 4 weeks of 24/7 not seeing anyone is too much. Video calls with my boyfriend and for work meetings are the highlight of my day.

rookiemere · 15/04/2020 20:52

I've found my people !

I'm a horrible person too as I'm finding daily conversations with my 80+ year old parents tricky, I feel so bad as I know they have little else going on but we're still working from home, so actually still quite busy.I must say we were all slightly relieved at this end when after DF suggested we do video calls, the camera seems to make his computer crash if he tries to use it.

And as for videoconferences with friends - well I started a thread about it a few days ago as finding it so tough that my teen parenting was clearly so much worse than my friends. I was secretly grateful the other night when we got kicked out of zoom on another occasion due to the 45 minutes being up - it's not just me was speaking to my lovely boss today like me she's pretty sociable in real life and she hates zoom too.

MrsTerryPratchett · 15/04/2020 20:53

Anyone expecting make up, clothes other than pyjamas or hair done isn't getting a call from me. Except Saturday night drinks with my pal. We wear make up and everything.

Scruffyoak · 15/04/2020 20:54

Hate it. Absolutely hate seeing my face on the screen!

Pickles89 · 15/04/2020 20:56

Where's one meant to look? At the screen, or at the camera? Surely if you look at the person on the screen it looks to them like you're looking down?

chickenyhead · 15/04/2020 20:57

My sister puts it to her ear. I haven't corrected her, it's a relief.

She has weird ears mind.

IntrovertBnReady4Lockdown4Ages · 15/04/2020 20:58

what have you been up to?

I avoid people because of this question.

Another one is "how was your weekend?"

It was fine.

Not enough. They expect me to go on at length about stuff. Er, if I had something to tell you besides what you already know and have asked me a million times still, I probably wouldn't wait for you to ask unless I dont really know you.

I know they mean well, which is why I only avoid (so I dont hurt their feelings) and not just tell them to fuck off!

BreathlessCommotion · 15/04/2020 20:59

Why do you need to do your hair or make up to video call your family? Surely they've seen you without it before? I think that's a bit weird.

My family all live far away anyway so it's our main form of communication. I video call my mum in my pj's and scruffy clothes all the time. She's my mum!

luckylavender · 15/04/2020 20:59

I've avoided them all so far. Work, family, friends. Just dodged them, changed the subject.

IntrovertBnReady4Lockdown4Ages · 15/04/2020 21:02

Don't get me wrong, if there's something to catch up on, if we have spoken for ages, then by all means. I may even talk your ears off as well. But afterwards and there's no new developments, please dont call me or video chat (I just dont pick up anyway but seeing the notification just makes me anxious!). There's nothing more to say!

Give it a month or 2....even 6! Aah! Now I'm ready to chat again.

Apparently 1 week is too long for some people!