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Original poster

I HATE video calls

53 replies

Sunbo · 15/04/2020 18:58

I hate feeling the pressure to have video calls with friends and family. I am actually enjoying not having to do my hair or wear make up every day at the moment, the last thing I want to do is video call someone!

I feel I am having to do it for other people, ie for grandparents so they can see my kids/ their grandchildren and for my sister so she can see her nephews. I am really not that bothered and could do without it! I am exhausted from managing my two young boys all day long!

Having to face time with my sons school friends which means I am also involved With it as he is only 5! So I end up appearing on screen too.

Obviously I must be an introvert! The worst was my DH doing a family call with our boys and his family, and then they were like ‘where is your mummy?’...’go and get her!’ I obviously looked so rude by not then joining... but I wasn’t ‘screen ready’. Eugh I hate it!! Anyone else?!

OP posts:

Tiredoutteacher2020 · 15/04/2020 21:03

I don't mean to sound horrible about this but thousands have lost a loved one due to this virus and can't speak to them ever again. A few minutes out of your day...

Original poster

Sunbo · 15/04/2020 21:04

@BreathlessCommotion it’s not my family, it’s my parents in law, BIL, SIL etc. They have never seen me without hair done/ make up. I know it’s my own insecurities

OP posts:

SallyWD · 15/04/2020 21:07

I'm someone who feels uncomfortable just talking on the phone so video calls are even more difficult! I'm doing it though and am always pleased I did it afterwards.

IndigoApple · 15/04/2020 21:11

I hate it too Sunbo. I feel more under pressure to do it with friends/family than I do at work weirdly, but I do work with quite a lot of introverts. Worst nightmare is multigeneration family call with lots of people. I think 4 (including me!) is my absolute max but I'd prefer not to do it at all.

SociallyDistant · 15/04/2020 21:15

I hate phone calls at the best of times and video calls are even worse. We have a couple of different sets of friends who have asked us to video chat with a glass of wine. We've done it a couple of times which was cringey, and got one arranged for tomorrow evening. I'm feeling wound up about it already. We normally see this particular couple about 3 times a year, and now they want us to chat every week! It's all so awkward and stilted. We have a split screen family chat with our adult DC and their partners once a week which is fine though.

SamsMumsCateracts · 15/04/2020 21:18

I'm so with you. I hate Facetime with a passion. I find it really intrusive. It doesn't help that my wider family seems to need to communicate constantly. It's so draining. Even my DC have started to moan about the relentlessness of it, because they have run out of things to say.

I don't mind the odd pre scheduled Zoom meeting, but not Facetime. I don't know why, but they feel very different.

IWantT0BreakFree · 15/04/2020 21:19

I can just about deal with the scheduled FaceTimes. But there’s someone in particular who just keeps trying to video call me out of the blue and I find it really intrusive. I probably wouldn’t care if it was my siblings or a close friend but they wouldn’t do it anyway so that’s irrelevant.

imamearcat · 15/04/2020 21:22

Absolutely hate it. My kids hate it as well. Just fuck off and leave us alone!

managedmis · 15/04/2020 21:22

Same here. HATE it with a passion.

Ive had 2 people ask to facetime 6 year old DS - no way. It's too much trouble and unnecessary.

DH did an Easter facetime /Zoom whatever with his family, I once again was the rude one only bobbing my head in to day Hi. Hate it

managedmis · 15/04/2020 21:24

what have you been up to?

I avoid people because of this question.

Another one is "how was your weekend?"

Lemonpink88 · 15/04/2020 21:26

Totally agree, Iv literally been thinking this today.
As for scheduling of the calls, it’s so frustrating!
My work have started zoom just for a ‘social’ before the proper meeting that day. No one has anything to say & Iv always got one eye on my toddler, wat the hell is the point, could be doing something useful!

notaskingforafriend · 15/04/2020 21:39

I don’t mind the video aspect of it, everyone knows I’m a scruff, but I can’t deal with the big family or friends group calls. No one knows when to speak or to who, just end up with a weird mix of awkward silences alternated with people talking over the top of each other. It’s so painful.

Genderwitched · 15/04/2020 21:39

I'm an introvert, I just want to get through this lock up in my own way.

Instead Iv'e got video calls every day and forced public clapping

blueshoes · 15/04/2020 21:45

OP, I'm with you.

I dislike talking to people on the phone at the best of times. Why would I want to show my face on a video call with my extroverted inlaws and their inane conversations?

I might have to do one on Sunday. I will say hi and then disappear. All that effort to look decent for 5 mins of proving I am alive.

I sound very grumpy.

WanderingMilly · 15/04/2020 21:48

Someone else here who hates video calls of all sorts. So much so that I don't do them. Have disabled the Skype on the laptop, haven't loaded any Zoom or whatever it is.

A family member suggested we could face time, I just said no. I am happy to text and ring people up for a chat, including my adult children, but I'm not going to sit looking at anyone. Nor they me. I refuse to have to do my hair and a faceful of make-up just for a bloody 'phone call, no way....

LizzyButton · 15/04/2020 21:50

I can't cope with them. I tend to say 'let's take this to text' and use text messages, WA, Telegram or whatever. I key what I want, read it over and send. I screenshot any important incoming. It's clear and doesn't require any getting ready.

TheMostHappy · 15/04/2020 22:12

I'm joining. I hate it. I feel so self conscious and only feel comfortable doing video calls with my mum! My in laws are the worst for it. It's so bloody infuriating. I have nothing to say. I have done nothing, been nowhere, have no news. Still here, still isolating, highlight of the week is the shopping arriving. And, as a very grouchy introvert, that's just how I like it.

KayakingOnDown · 15/04/2020 22:19

I like chatting to people on the phone, and can just about tolerate a video call (but see little point unless it's for kids to see their grandparents or cousins or family members.) But I hate Zoom with a passion.

AnnaNimmity · 15/04/2020 22:23

I much prefer them! I am finding normal phone calls quite weird now. It's nice being able to see people's faces I think.

WingingIt101 · 15/04/2020 22:31

Thank god it’s not just me!!

We had our first baby during this lockdown madness so every bugger and his dog has wanted a video call.
Fantastic. Yes. Would love to. Never mind the fact I’m shattered, trying to work out the cues of a 2 week old, often covered in bodily fluid (sometimes mine, sometimes DDs, hell sometimes both!) oh and what’s it hat, the house is a bomb site that I now can’t hide??!

Then when we get on the call the awkward conversation is punctuated with “just move the camera I can’t see the baby” or my personal fave, Mil complaining she couldn’t see the baby’s face because the bottle was in the way. Jeez terribly sorry she’s hungry, let me whip her food away so she screams to high heaven and you can watch her little lip quiver whilst it happens.

And what is the obsession with them teaching elderly relatives how to do it??? Dh sister said she was going to teach his 90 year old nana how to do it. Fine, so long as it’s not us. Until it was our job because by teaching nana how to do it she meant extolling the benefits, making her want it but doing naff all to make it happen. Then texting us to make us feel horribly guilty that nana was lonely and desperate to see the baby. We finally got there today and whilst she spent 20 minutes looking at the baby, we got a great shot of her ceiling.

God it’s good to rant.

luckylavender · 16/04/2020 08:29

I spend loads of time talking to people on the phone, I just don't need to see them or they me.

BasilDiffuser · 16/04/2020 08:35

I don’t like it. I detest how i look so usually just point it at DD. DD hates it too but is the only grandchild on one side of the family and has a full set of great grandparents so lots of people want to talk to her but she goes really sulky and it becomes embarrassing. Also as PP have said there isn’t a whole lot to talk about.
However my mum read a story to DD on FaceTime the other day and DD enjoyed that and it meant a lot to my mum as well.

IamHyouweegobshite · 16/04/2020 09:01

I absolutely hate video calls, have done one with dB so I could see dn, but realised how horrendous I looked and I thought, no never again. I have put make up on once throughout all of this, mainly because I don't see the point and don't want to waste it. A friend tried to video call me yesterday, I cancelled it and rung her, she made me feel so crap, telling me she wears make up does her hair all the time, goes on the long bike rides with the kids bla bla bla. My dc barely talk, none of them want to go for a walk, or do anything, felt like such a shit mum when I got off the phone from her.

Mucklowe · 16/04/2020 09:06

In a front-facing camera I morph from a passably pleasant-looking woman with reasonably proportioned features and an olive complexion, into a pale, spike-nosed harridan who looks like she wants to drink your blood. Horrifying!

Sparklingbrook · 16/04/2020 09:23

This was on MN a week or so ago.

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