What do you have in common with your OH?

[MrsRaab]

DH says we have nothing in common except for the kids.
I guess he is right but I wondered how much other couples have in common?

He's a big drinker, loves being around people but he's very lazy and sits on his phone playing games in his free time. He would rather be out with our friends drinking/eating. He's not very hands on with the kids.
He loves food, very meaty. I also love food but I've been a vegetarian my whole life.

I don't drink, have anxiety so like to stay home but love going on long walks with the kids. I spend my free time playing with the kids and doing the house work and generally being in nature. I like to read.

I’m common: Food, TV/films taste, sense of humour, attitudes to work, morals and parenting styles.

Not in common: I’m very sociable and spontaneous. I’d love to do more with friends and family. DH likes routine and staying home and given the choice would not socialise at all!

A mutual enthusiasm for alcohol and dogs.

OTOH I am absurdly adventurous and DH is a worrier - we have knocked each other's corners off over the years but occasionally we still frustrate one another

DH says we have nothing in common except for the kids.

But that is massive! Kids, home, day to day life. Huge things!

A mutual love of alcohol, music, cats, films, food and clothes. He’s probably a bit more sociable than me and lm a little more into travelling

You don't sound like you do actually have very much in common. He is a party animal and likes being out with friends. You have anxiety and prefer to be at home.

Surely this has dawned on you before? Corona has highlighted something that you already knew?

More in common than not - sense of humour, most food, films, TV, music, books, theatre, politics, morals, views on raising children, work ethic.

Not in common - he likes gaming, not very punctual, very laid back, rubbish at planning. I'm ultra punctual, think ahead more, plan with contingencies.

Things I don't like, he likes and vice versa. He took drugs when he was younger, I didn't so his attitude about them is different to mine.

Tv and films is a good one we definitely share that.

I have always been fine with our lack of common interests but all of a sudden he's very unhappy and says it's because we have nothing in common - our interests and tastes have been the same since we got together 7 years ago and now all these years and 3 kids later it's a huge issue for him.

In common: sense of humour, parenting styles, we’re both very sociable

Not in common: I LOVE music & he hasn’t got a clue, I love reading whereas he loves films, he drinks lots and I drink maybe once or twice a year (our main sticking point as he changes considerably when drinking and I can’t stand to be around him). He would happily use other people whereas I feel terrible asking anyone for a favour & would avoid it at all costs

I think these are tough times for any relationship, being stuck at home on top of one another (and not in a fun way, haha!) day after day after day. He’s probably just climbing the walls because of that.

Nothing.

Politics, faith, workaholics, gardening, books, general agreement about the big stuff and the same attitude towards spending.

We like different art, different music, I would have a dog, I am more sociable although neither of us are the ife and soul of the party. He is far more interested in sport than me but far less practical and a complete technophobe.

I'm not sure I have loads in common with my dh.
I think we share the same fundamental values about society, politics, family. We're both introverts, quite private, don't share a lot on social media etc. I think those are far more important than shared interests.

I'm a big music lover, read a lot and I'm naturally curious.
He only reads biographies of F1 drivers and car manuals and doesn't really listen to music.
We like some of the same tv shows but he likes a lot of things I don't and vice versa.
We have a similar sense of humour but I find the absurd and ridiculous a lot funnier than he does and can't get the giggles over something daft for ages.
He's a lot more serious.

Both love reading, history, dogs, food, wine, playing games, guitar, music, writing, films, telly, sex,

We don’t necessarily have the exact same tastes in all of the above, but there’s enough overlap.

Ah yes sex, he has a very low sex drive, I don't.

Values
A sport we both play
Gardening
Music
Some TV
Wine

We're both quite introverted. We like different types of music and films to each other and he is into gaming and I'm not, but we have similar thoughts and ideas. Loads of times he's said something I was about to say and vice versa. Both have the same sense of humour. We are of similar class and backgrounds.
I don't think it matters if you're not into the same hobbies, even personality as long as you don't clash, but similar morals is so important.

Morals, sense of humour, approach to family, child rearing (mostly), we are both home bodies, some films and tv but we do vary. Sex.

We differ in attitudes to housework ( he does it....), hobbies, food (I love good food and am a veggie, he likes meaty junk). Biggest one is politics and we argue quite a bit. Hes a bit of a shouty talk over arguer so things can get tense.

Sometimes it causes issues, especially as he shares hobbies with the kids and I feel left out or if the bickering over politics gets a bit much. But most of time it's good. We have enough to keep us going (we're over the 20 year mark now)

Quite a bit really; our jobs, dd, gin, travelling, cycling, climbing, board games (yes, I am THAT rock and roll), art, cooking and making froofy cocktails.

We've the same sense of humour, like the same sort of tv shows, very similar taste in music.

He's a keen gardener, I'm a fair-weather gardener. We've our own hobbies and can chit chat (sometimes total bollocks) for hours. We both love cooking. He doesn't read a lot, I read many books.

Far more in common than not.

Sex drive, political opinions, moral code and compass, love of family, our kids, friends, history, background, education levels, sense of humour, love to read (albeit different types of books), love of good food and wine, manners, love of music and some music tastes, love of the cat, clothing and grooming levels and tastes. Quite a bit really.

Everything really. What we want for the future,values & work ethic. We have similar interests in film and music but do like some different things. I like to watch tv more but there are things we watch together. We love holidays and days out as a family. He likes certain sports that I dont care for much. We dont see friends much but have separate friends and a mutual group of friends we see together. Dh is a natural comedian and he is the funniest person I know. We make each other laugh.I wouldn't say having a child is a common interest. Having a child is not a hobby.

Dowsing, spending time together, going out, caravanning, travel, eating out, both gf and df, moderate drinking, no smoking, live music, peace and quiet, nature , being clean, tidy and well groomed, Theatre and cinema

My friend would Like him when I’m finished with him

That’s not going to happen lol

Me and DH are complete opposites, so god knows how we’ve managed to remain married for 28 years
He’s a neat-freak, whereas I don’t mind a bit of clutter. He’s a saver, I’m a spender. He’s definitely a glass half empty person, I’m much more positive and relaxed. He hates musicals with a passion, I love them. The list is endless - but somehow, somehow it works.

In common: politics, basic values and morality, attitude to money, exactly the same sense of humour, both big foodies and love eating out, an overlap in music, TV and movies, both like walking, driving, taking road trips, animals, our pets, levels of socialising, seeing people etc. Love each other's company.

Different: he loves gardening, I hate it. I love running, he hates it. I'm more family-orientated than him. He loves stupid superhero movies. I'm very driven, career-wise, he has never been remotely ambitious. He is obsessed with music, I listen to music but not to the same level. I'm obsessed with reading, he reads on and off but not like I do. We're both really into our house but have different tastes in interior design, with some overlap. He's super chilled and very tolerant but can't deal with stress. I'm much more fiery and impatient but I manage stress really well.

All the important stuff we have in common but we're different enough in the rest to make us quite individual.

In common: Music taste, political views, cat people, parenting approach, happy to stay at home, similar sense of humour.

Different: He's much more laid back, I'm a worrier. He's a film lover, I'm a reader. I focus on details, he sees the bigger picture. He's more driven when it comes to work. He doesn't mind a bit of mess, I think everything has it's place! He sees recipes/instruction manuals as a rough guide, I follow them to the letter. Typing it all out he's probably much more fun than me