What do you have in common with your OH?

[MrsRaab]

DH says we have nothing in common except for the kids.
I guess he is right but I wondered how much other couples have in common?

He's a big drinker, loves being around people but he's very lazy and sits on his phone playing games in his free time. He would rather be out with our friends drinking/eating. He's not very hands on with the kids.
He loves food, very meaty. I also love food but I've been a vegetarian my whole life.

I don't drink, have anxiety so like to stay home but love going on long walks with the kids. I spend my free time playing with the kids and doing the house work and generally being in nature. I like to read.

We have a great deal in common. Our personalities are strikingly similar and we seem to think along the same lines.

We are both v adventurous, love climbing mountains, winter sports, camping, exploring, we love the outdoors, nature and wildlife and we loathe cities. We both adore our dogs and treat them as high priority, same music tastes, both sporty, practice yoga together and often work out together, both v focused on our careers. We love interior design and gardening. We are both v hard working and ambitious, productive, our values and politics align, both into science, laugh at the same things, I have a few hobbies I do independently, as does DH, but generally most of our main hobbies are done together.

We differ on football and sci fi movies, I cannot stand either.

In common; politics, sense of humour, parenting styles, music taste

Not in common; I’m a foodie and DH eats to live, he’s a drinker I’m not, I’m very sociable he doesn’t really like mixing with people outside family

Everything, pretty much. We always have done since we were younger and it's changed but matched over the years.

Not a lot but we were on the verge of breaking up before lockdown...

Ironically we are getting on slightly better during lockdown but we are both still working (keyworkers) so not under each other's feet all day.

He is good in bed so there's that but really not a lot apart from the kids.

Different
-exercise, I love it and exercise daily, he has a disability that makes exercise awkward so he hates exercise with a passion
-I play piano, he can’t play any instrument
-I love and play rugby, he hates rugby
-He loves football, I hate it
-I’m very laid back, he prefers structure
-He irons things

Same/similar
-both extroverts/very social
-gaming
-maths geeks
-same career (well, he’s temp unemployed)
-childish sense of humour
-reading
-taste in music
-going new places/trying new things
-cooking
-very similar personalities/general outlook

I was going to say not much, but the same sense of humour (I appreciate his corny jokes, much to the exasperation of the DC!) and we love our dogs and our children. Most of our interests are entirely different, including most TV. We are happy to go for dog walks together, or out to coffee or for meals.

I don’t think it matters really that our interests are different. As long as you have respect for each other and listen about each other’s jobs and lives and hobbies, it’s fine. I think some separate interests helps. Key is working towards similar life goals.

We’ve been together a long time so I don’t think the differences matter at all.

If your DH is suddenly unhappy after being fine all this time, I think he’s making an excuse.

Dh and I have hardly anything in common!
I like to go out, he prefers to stay home
I enjoy spending time with others, he prefers being by himself
I love films and boxsets, he only watches sports
I love mountains, forests and city breaks, he loves beaches and snorkelling/diving
We have different political views
We have different food tastes
I’m chilled out and he’s easily stressed

We do however tick along well and have been married for 20 years!
There are some overlaps in tastes and we both know to compromise at times.
It can work.

We've been together 45 plus years and I think we are much more alike now than at the start of our relationship. Back then I was the extrovert to his introvert. We've now settled just to around the middle, perhaps going towards introvert, probably because I've learnt over the years that in the end most people will let you down. We make each other laugh all the time. It was his sense of humour which first drew me to him.

We have always enjoyed similar music, films, tv and sport. Both enjoy gardening, travel, reading. Both drink similar amounts and don't really enjoy eating out that much. We are both quite neat and tidy and enjoy our home.

Most importantly we both have a similar attitude to money, it's always been all in the pot and we never argue about it. DH though is definitely more keen to spend it these days and I'm starting to see his point

We totally agree on politics, religion and how to raise children. We're both very sociable and have a good social circle. We're both quite impulsive and don't like to plan too far ahead. We love eating out and going away for the weekend. We're both generous by nature and aren't frightened of indulging ourselves.We share the same sense of humour and the sex is excellent

On the other hand, I am a neat freak and like a place for everything and everything in its place but DH likes a mess. I love clothes and expensive make up and toiletries but DH isn't remotely interested in clothes and would wash his hair in Fairy Liquid if I let him. I like the house to be very clean and fresh but DH thinks hoovering once a month is sufficient, but as we have a cleaner this isn't a problem. I am very easy going and just go with the flow but DH is very much the alpha male type.

We both share the love of chicken noodle soup, cats, musicals and dd

I LOVE quirky music but he absolutely hates it. Was watching a concert on TV the other day and the look of PAIN on his face.

Very little! But we both love each other anyway!

Share: hobby, values, love of history, interest in the natural world and environmental issues, enjoy a drink occasionally.

Different: political views (although he's seen the light in recent years ), religious views, food tastes, music tastes.

His taste in food annoys me more than anything, he'd be happy eating fish fingers, chips and peas for the rest of his days. I like flavour, spice, variation (and I cook most...)

On paper, we don't have anything in common. He loves his cars, action films and crime dramas. I love cats, reading and knitting/crochet. He needs to constantly be doing things while I am happy to sit and relax. He is horrifically messy where I am obsessively neat and tidy. He likes dogs while I like cats. Theoretically we should hate each other

But we share similar views on what I consider the big things like finances and how to raise our DD. And somehow we just work. As long as he ignores my ever growing collection of books and I never question how much he has spent on new tools!

Nothing really.

Im very active - he likes to be lazy.

I walk fast -he’s slow.

I like a drink -he rarely drinks.

What did yous do or talk about prior to marriage/kids?

We have the same political beliefs, we are about as clever as each other, and we mainly want the same things in life (such as where we live, how many dc, what sort if lifestyle).

We differ in that dp has much better social skills, I am more organised.

In common: both love food, music, the countryside/camping, both quite introverted - like to socialise in small doses but don't like a full calendar - both drink moderately.

Not in common: taste in books, TV (although there's enough crossover to find things we can both watch), I'm academic he's practical. I have to be 'doing' he can sit and watch TV / piss about on his phone for hours on end which makes me get a bit stabby.

Many day to day preference differences but underpinned by shared core values and fundamentals, which we discussed before committing to marriage.
Same religion and same relaxed towards tenets and practice of religion.
Same education levels and commitment to public sector but in different fields .
Same attitudes to child rearing and family culture.
Same moral compass.
Lots of variance though. I love dancing, but he has two left feet. He can sing well, but I am restricted to the shower or my car. His taste in television is shocking for someone with his level of education. He likes a cool bedroom, but I like to be warm. He’s a lark and I’m an owl.

In common: family values, giving back (to society) either through jobs or voluntarily, humour (although different, still laugh at each other’s humour), parenting style, health and fitness, some sports, film, ‘get up and go’, work ethic, politics.

Different: religion (polar opposites), tv programmes, attitudes to holidays/travel (I could happily stay home and not go away, he loves his holidays and saving for them), generosity/charitable giving (me), attitudes towards people (he’s judgemental about health/lifestyle of others, I’m not), running the house / housework (in that it doesn’t even factor in his brain unless reminded 🙄)

We have more in common that I realise actually; sometimes I feel we’re really really different!!

In common: shared values, morals, broad political views, broad approach to child rearing, make do and mend mentality/lack of materialism, taking pleasure in small things and nature

Different: I like to plan, he just goes with the flow. I like to save money and feel secure, he has nothing and it doesn't seem to worry him, I am more sociable, he is much better at handling conflict. I get stressed, he is mostly very calm and logical