Why THE FUCK can I not cook with melted chocolate?

[CheriLittlebottom]

Every. Single. Fucking. Time. It does that stupid go dry and solid thing.

Thought I was overheating it but this time it was perfectly melted until I took it off the bain Marie and added it to the other ingredients - exactly what the recipe told me to do and it STILL FUCKED UP! WHY????

So pissed off. I had given up trying but DD really wanted to make something and I actually found a recipe for rocky road in a proper recipe book so that it wouldnt fuck up AND YET FUCK UP IT DID. AGAIN!!

I want to stamp my feet and cry angry tears. What a fucking waste of chocolate.

I'm glad there are at least a couple of other people who chocolate refuses to behave for.

According to Raymond Blanc, don’t let the bowl touch the water. It should be melted by steam

Bowl didn't touch the water, it was barely simmering, it was perfectly melted (I thought we had decided to be civilised for once) until I hit the other ingredients. Bastard.

Until it hit the other ingredients. Though I did hit some more chocolate very hard with a rolling pin afterwards.

What chocolate do you use? Is is cooking chocolate or just Cadbury's/ shops own brand?

Put the condensed milk and (unmelted) butter in the bain marie with the chocolate and melt them all together. I don't know why it works that way and not when you mix them after melting, but I promise you it does!

Turn the heat source off below the saucepan of water before you add your basin of chocolate. Make sure your basin is not touching the water.

When all the corona stuff is over, keep an eye out in Aldi or Lidl for a chocolate melting pot, they are fairly cheap, you plug it in and it melts the chocolate perfectly every time (for me and my DC anyway), we have the Ambiano one from Aldi, cheap as chips, totally stress free.

If that was me, I sling the butter and chocolate over a bowl of just boiled water -no additional heat.
The addition of butter greatly improves my chocolate melting ability. Then I'd stir in the condensed milk after it had all melted but still over the heat. Then us take ut off the heat before finally adding the biscuits and stuff.

Can you try heating what you've got, see if that helps?? Hopefully it tastes fine, even if not top of the class in the looks department.

It's all in a dish in the fridge now.

Theoretically, what would happen if I chucked it in the oven? Would that remelt it?

Chocolate has deteriorated in quality over the past few years, so it may not be you. You used to be able to make perfectly good cornflake cakes out of leftover Easter eggs and now it’s just shit.

I wouldn't shove it back in the oven. The marshmallows would probably burn and you'd end up with an unpleasant taste.

"Dark chocolate. Fairly cheap (Sainsbury's own) though the white was the same stuff and it was fine."

If it was cheap, it probably only has 55% cocoa solids or so - you need a minimum of 70%, it behaves much better.

I cook with dark choc all the time in the microwave and it's never seized.

White chocolate, on the other hand, seizes the moment I even think about it. Bastard.

It's funny how cooking chocolate used to be the cheap stuff and eating chocolate was better quality now it's the other way round.

If you’re mixing it with butter then I’d just put the butter and chocolate together in a thick bottomed saucepan and melt them together over a very low direct heat, then take it off the heat when still has a couple of lumps (residual pan heat will finish it off) and add everything else in. Butter and chocolate can be melted over a direct heat IME.

I do all the wrong things- Bain Marie on too high a heat, bowl in the water and couldn’t work out why I never have this problem and then I realised- it’s probably because I always cook with cooking chocolate and not eating chocolate. It’s probably got a different ratio of fats in it. But it never does that weird thing you’re describing!

White chocolate though is an absolute bastard.

The white was fine. It didn't get mixed in though, just drizzled over the top.

I thought that about chocolate changing. I used to be able to melt chocolate no probs, never bought expensive stuff (why would you, to make crispy cakes??). Is it the addition of palm oil type shit?

I always have this issue if the ingredients vary too much in temperature. So for example, melted chocolate too hot into a mixture including fridge cold eggs. Everything needs to be as close to the same temperature as possible.

Is it cooking chocolate? Or just cake covering?
Agree melt butter and chocolate at same time, mixes better.
Also after melting remove from heat and let cool for literally a couple of minutes before adding ingredients.

55% chocolate is absolutely fine for rocky road. I'd have melted the butter with the chocolate and then added condensed milk before adding the biscuits and marshmallows.
I don't think trying to remelt it with the marshmallow in will work. If it's a total disaster I'd chop it up and mix into vanilla ice cream...

The best tip I've had with chocolate that has seized is to add fat (oil, butter, etc) - it has rescued me a number of times

Two tips I've been given:

1. Reserve one square of chocolate to stir into the melted chocolate when you've taken it off the heat.

1. Let it cool for a few minutes before adding to other ingredients.

Good luck!

I always melt it in the microwave with a small amount of water. It looks wrong but then I stir it and after about 10 seconds it goes all soft and smooth.

I am always able to rescue siezed chocolate with small amounts of boiling water or some cold milk and beat the shit out of it with a wooden spoon as you add it. It looks like it's not working for a while then all of a sudden it goes silky smooth.