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Original poster

Dh won’t go to a&e...

73 replies

Blimeyoreilly2020 · 12/04/2020 21:33

Shamelessly posting for traffic. Dh has an issue that has flared up this evening. In A&e we are always admitted straight to resus in this event...it’s not life threatening in the next few hours but needs to be dealt with ASAP. He won’t go due to covid19 fears....can anyone give me some reassuring stats to help convince him that it’s far better to go!!!! Stubborn sod. SHIT!!!!

OP posts:

Chocolatecake12 · 12/04/2020 22:43

I’m guessing svt too! He’s being ridiculous not going. You must be out of your mind with worry.
He will be very safe there, as pp have said they are separating a&e into 2 sides.
I hope he sees sense soon - if it is svt have you tried to count his pulse rate and how long has it been going on for?

Mrsmadevans · 12/04/2020 22:44

If it is Afib then he really needs to go asap or he is at risk of having a stroke as you probably already know . You need to spell it out to him OP. Hope everything is ok Good luck .

HamsterHolder · 12/04/2020 22:46

As I think you realise it does sound pointless calling 111/999 as from how you describe it they really can only tell him to goto a&e. If they dispatch an ambulance when well enough to make your own way the only thing youll be accomplishing is inviting two people into your home that are very likely contaminated with covid (we have no boot covers, aprons barely cover uniform, bags and defib straps made of materials which cannot be effectively cleaned, don't get chance for more than a cursory wipe of ambulance or kit between jobs...)

Mintychoc1 · 12/04/2020 22:56

What is wrong with him?

OzziePopPop · 12/04/2020 22:58

Go. I went to the local cottage hospital urgent care this Thursday just gone with a suspected broken ankle. It was absolutely empty. They’re taking lots of precautions and although I didn’t want to go (fell early hours of Sunday) I’m glad I did. I’m a wheelchair user much of the time and high risk due to rheumatoid arthritis and diabetes, I’m also agoraphobia and have social and general anxiety - going was not my first choice! So, so grateful to those there. I made sure they knew it too 😀 I’m not a ‘clapper’ so saying thank you in person felt good... not that I wouldn’t normally thank but Im sure you know what I mean!

gamerchick · 12/04/2020 22:59

It's probably the best time to go tbh. He's being an understandable divvy. Hard call to make I think personally.

pinkflamingo561 · 12/04/2020 23:02

I know you've said 111 is no use, but if you ring them, explain his symptoms and get him to talk to them, they may be able to convince him to go?

TheChosenTwo · 12/04/2020 23:04

We had to visit a&e this week. We being ds and I. I called 111 for advice first as I didn’t know if we go just turn up (suspected broken wrist - if broken, the walk in centre would have sent us to the hospital anyway).
They sent us to the hospital. I was really quite nervous but there was only one other man in there with his son. The guy who dealt with us said he’s never experienced his job being so quiet and with such little stress. Everyone working there was incredibly chipper to be honest. Covid patients are coming in through a separate entrance.
We were out in less than an hour, with News of no break just a sprain.
Please can you read some of these stories to him to help ease his mind that it’s probably the very safest and quickest time to ever get emergency treatment?

callmeadoctor · 12/04/2020 23:11

Couldn't be doing with someone so stupid as to rise their health like this.Tell him you are taking him and he had better toe the line, what an arse!!

AnathemaPulsifer · 12/04/2020 23:11

I had to take a friend this week with a suspected broken bone. She was xrayed and on her way far quicker than it would usually have been.

Standrewsschool · 12/04/2020 23:22

@Frankiesknuckles - I was suggesting the ambulance kidnapped the dh! I was merely thinking that if op phoned 999 and they thought it warranted an ambulance, then dh may realise how serious the situation was and be willing to go to hospital.

Savingshoes · 12/04/2020 23:23

Can't you just ring your A&E and speak to the nurse in charge?
They can tell you how busy it is and it will help him make an informed decision.

EmergencyPractitioner · 12/04/2020 23:26

Has he got a heart arrhythmia?

If so cardiology services are fully staffed and separate from the covid infected wards.

Mammaaof · 12/04/2020 23:27

Please go! I've been in hospital with sepsis by not going to hospital I would have died! I didn't even feel that unwell X

Fudgewhizz · 12/04/2020 23:33

Tell him he can either stay at home and definitely be seriously ill, or he can go to a&e and probably avoid it. I feel for you - really hope he goes.

Original poster

Blimeyoreilly2020 · 12/04/2020 23:35

Thank you everyone for your advice (and the handhold/company through the situation). It has, thank God, resolved - though by dh doing what he’s always been told not to do by the drs ffs. Don’t want to out myself as it’s quite rare but for those wondering what it could be a vague description would be a reoccurring oesophageal blockage issue (ish - I’m no medic!). Will obv be having a chat tomorrow to try and break down the a&e fear as we’ll no doubt be in this situation again but now am going to have a cup of tea & sleep. Thanks all💐

OP posts:

recycledbottle · 12/04/2020 23:39

You cant make him go. He is an adult. You have told him he is safe to go but he disagrees. You have tried to convince him but he just says no. Thats it really

Overseasmom100 · 12/04/2020 23:44

Glad it's sorted.

I think I would of called a&e and explained to them and maybe passed the phone to DH so he felt re assured. It's a very scarey time for us all so I understand his concerns. Well done OP for being calm and trying to reassure him must of been stressful for you as well

Pomegranatemolasses · 12/04/2020 23:49

Really tiresome for you Op, when a mature adult won't do what's best for them.

Geepipe · 12/04/2020 23:49

Glad its sorted op that sounds like the same thing my friend has and its awful. I really hope it doesnt happen again so soon.

SunshineCake · 13/04/2020 08:18

Sounds like he is a very selfish man.

Dh and I had a very difficult, but also surprisingly easy, conversation last night about what to do if I get ill again with the virus or he contracts it. All focussed on what is best for the children and not our wishes. It is how it should be in our opinion.

Kids could feel he didn't love them enough to get better for them if he refuses to seek necessary medical help or takes risks. So sad and unforgivable.

ToShredsYouSay · 13/04/2020 08:30

@SunshineCake I disagree that he's selfish; fear can override common sense.

I'm glad your DH is feeling better now. I think my DH might have the same/similar condition and it's scary and quite painful for him. He can usually dislodge the food by himself but it's not a fun process.

SunshineCake · 13/04/2020 10:14

I accept you feel differently, *@ToShredsYouSay.

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