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Original poster

Any positive stories of non talking toddlers?

45 replies

Trapordo · 12/04/2020 11:00

DS is 2.5 and completely non verbal. He spoke one word (dog) by 10 months and then stopped saying it just before 1.5. Never spoke again.

I'm getting increasingly frustrated inside. I've been so stressed and in bits. We are seeing speech and language, he is now promoting adults to open stuff for him but no luck with the picture exchange yet.

No sessions anytime soon and no end to this in sight so no idea when the next one will be. We are also awaiting the assessing for ASD by the multiple discipliary team, which we still didn't have an appointment before all this started, and now the wait will be even longer. I feel so angry.

I am started to get really down about it all. I'm usually very positive and practical but being locked inside is making me go crazy. I shouted at DS in the face before he went for a nap and feel like the shittest mum alive.

It is okay for now as he's a toddler still so things can be passed off as him being a baby still, but I worry so so much about him as an adult. What on earth will the future hold?

In the last few days I've also had new thoughts about me... How about me? Is that it then, will I never have a normal son? Is it all over? I feel horrific for saying it. I'm in my early twenties and feel like my life is gone. No normality if this is him forever. I've always been happy to make any sacrifices necessary in general but the thought of a disabled child and then adult son makes me so miserable lately. Again, I was fine before now.

I am failing him.

I just want my beautiful boy to be normal.

Has anyone had a toddler that was completely non verbal then spoke? What are they like now, are they just normal kids?

Thank you Flowers

OP posts:
MrsSchadenfreude · 12/04/2020 11:04

Mine didn’t speak until she was three, apart from “Mummy.” Then she went to nursery in the mornings and went from saying nothing to speaking fluently in a matter of weeks.

Have you had his hearing checked?

Original poster
Trapordo · 12/04/2020 11:04

I just don't get it. Usually people have a period of upset and denial, then they accept their children for who they are...

I seem to have gone the opposite way Sad

It's just so very hard. I get nothing back socially. He doesn't want to play with me or copy me, or let me copy him. He's very happy within himself and doesn't stop seeking me out to kiss me and cuddle me (won't stop until I let him!) and he's so gentle.

I feel disgusted at myself for not accepting everything that's going on. I just can't cope today and I want out. But there is no out and I have to soldier on. This is what being his mum means.

I just wish life wasn't like this

OP posts:
Original poster
Trapordo · 12/04/2020 11:06

Mrs Yes, heading normal. Although I'm not sure what a proper check is? It was fine on newborn check. And fine when GP checked it when I explained my concerns to him at age 1 year 8 months. But nothing put in the ear, just a basic test with claps etc

OP posts:

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2 year olds Families
fluckityfluckfluck · 12/04/2020 11:06

My dad had no words at all and made no sounds either. Said baba at 26 months and a goat noise and that was it for ages. Leaving preschool she had about 15/20 words but not clearly understood by strangers. She is now 12 and top sets in high school and never shuts up

fluckityfluckfluck · 12/04/2020 11:07

Dd not dad. She came on massively the summer before reception but I hadn't done anything different

midnightstar66 · 12/04/2020 11:08

At 2.5 dd didn't say any conventional words apart from mama which is more of a sound than a word. She made animal sounds when asked and later developed her own strange language. By age 5 when she started school however she suddenly had the most bizarrely sophisticated vocabulary. For instance instead of press it she'd say 'apply pressure' I can't think of any other examples off the top of my head but there was loads. Her teacher pointed it out and was amazed to hear she was such a late talker. Does he babble and respond to instructions?

midnightstar66 · 12/04/2020 11:09

Also hearing tests test all different frequencies- missing one frequency can massively affect speech. A clap test isn't helpful for that at all

FantailsFly · 12/04/2020 11:13

Yes - DS2 didn’t say anything until he was close to 2.5. He’d communicate by pointing, but no words. He could also follow instructions like ‘Can you please get your shoes’. He’s 14 now and bright and chatty so if your DS understands and responds to instructions, I wouldn’t worry. But I’m no expert!

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 12/04/2020 11:14

Mil told me that one BiL barely uttered at all until he was 3. She’d been getting very worried, but once he started, it came out in whole sentences. He’d just been taking it all in and biding his time.
He later won a scholarship to Cambridge and is a lovely bloke.

Original poster
Trapordo · 12/04/2020 11:14

fluck Thank you so much

midnight Think I need to ask for a thorough test then. Not sure why nobody has wondered from his other teams as to why they didn't do this already. Whenever I'm asked by a new professional about if he's hearing has been checked, I say it was fine at newborn check and then fine when GP did a little clap test. They always seem happy with that answer Sad

midnight Your DD sounds so intelligent. With the best intentions in the world, do you think she may possibly have Aspergers? I obviously have nothing to base this on. But whenever I read online about kids not talking and then talking, they always seem to and up very precocious in speech and very very clever (a common trait with mild autism)

OP posts:
TSSDNCOP · 12/04/2020 11:18

My DS made sound, but had no words. Nursery said wait, when it comes he will talk whole sentences. By 3 he was off. At 13 he could politely be called loquacious.

Original poster
Trapordo · 12/04/2020 11:18

Another tell tell sign with DS is he dislikes company of other children and will actively avoid them. He will not engage. He's a very easy going little boy but if a child persists beyond 5/6 times and keeps following him, he will lash out eventually. Something the nursery have said

He attends nursery and loves it (doesn't even look to see if I've gone, walks off).

He does not follow instructions. But can understand some basic things like 'would you like boobie' (cringe, sorry). Or 'Mummy open it'

OP posts:
Original poster
Trapordo · 12/04/2020 11:20

He does make sounds x

Lots of goddy goddy, memememe, barr, and golly golly golly. But in bursts. Often very quiet

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 12/04/2020 11:23

Our son only said about 8/10 words until he was nearly 3 and then just started speaking fluently . He was diagnosed as bilaterally moderately deaf aged 6 when it was picked up by a school hearing test , we had never noticed but apparently he could lip read very well . He does also have HFA which may be relevant .

Manyminieggs · 12/04/2020 11:25

My youngest didn't talk until he was gone four really. Few years on and his vocab is very rich. He's never hungry, he's ravenous etc. He was seeing speech therapist but didbt progress at all because of that because the sessions were so infrequent and rushed they were pointless.

Maybeimweird · 12/04/2020 11:25

My son didn't talk until he was 3,every month I would think this is the month he will start to talk and nothing he made the sounds and tone abut he couldn't pronounce words and letters, he was so frustrated and just pointed at everything, it would then make me frustrated not knowing what he wanted etc. He had proper hearing tests and had glue ear they insterted grommets and as soon as he had them his speech picked up! He still cannot pronounce words exactly, he is nearly 6 and has had to have speech therapy. Try not to feel bad about how you are feeling of course you are going to be upset its hard! But the main thing is you are still soldiering on looking after him so that's good! Just keep pushing for more checks!

niki26 · 12/04/2020 11:25

I was very worried about my daughter....she wasn't saying much and the words she did say were very unclear. We couldn't tell the difference between 'spider' and 'fire' for example. I booked an appointment with a speech therapist when she was 2 1/2 years and she came and did an assessment. She said it was completely usual and she didn't think there was anything to worry about. She also said that if I was still worried she wouldn't recommend doing anything until my daughter was minimum 3 years old.

My daughter started prep school at 2.9 years and I'd booked in for a follow up assessment with the same speech therapist for when she was about 3.6 years. The improvement was reassuring and the speech therapist recommended some activities to do with my daughter to help her pronunciations. The school have been working through these with my daughter - in a group environment - and there are no real concerns due to the improvements she is making.

Sorry that's long! My point is, I was extremely worried at the same point as you and now she's 4 the difference is amazing. BUT I am also pleased that I sought help when I did as this undoubtedly gave us the tools to her with her speech.

Rebelwithallthecause · 12/04/2020 11:27

DS is nearly 3 and only just starting to say some words. Probably less than 10 overall

My DH was a late talker

Maybeimweird · 12/04/2020 11:27

And just read your comment wouldn't anyone get annoyed if someone kept bugging them for 6 times in a row, I know I would!

midnightstar66 · 12/04/2020 11:28

I think up until now it would have been to early to suggest full hearing tests. It's not unusual for a dc to not talk aged 2 but nearing 3 although it still happens and everything is fine they tend to start to look at investigating but there's still no great urgency- in my experience at least.

I suppose there is a chance she could be on the edge of a spectrum somewhere but you'd never get it diagnosed. Her school persona and previously her nursery one is incredibly conventional- it's clear no one believes me when I describe her behaviour at home which has been very challenging but got easier with age and lately has improved dramatically (she's 7 now) so I've no current concerns. She is pretty bright but not exceptionally so, although she sounds it due to her vocabulary.

Therabble · 12/04/2020 11:31

To be perfectly honest it sounds like your little boy has ASD. I am sorry you are having to wait for an assessment, it must be so stressful. I can't imagine how you must be feeling wishing your little boy was different. ASD can be so so heart breaking because you can have times of getting not much back.

HOWEVER as he gets older he is likely to be able to communicate more, whether that's verbally or non verbally. The early years can be the worst and things can change so much as he gets older and learns new skills. I'm sure he's a gorgeous lad and as he gets older his personality will come out more and you'll learn ways to interact with each other more so. There's lots of help and support out there as well as really positive groups seeing Asd as neurodiversity rather than a disability x

Maybeimweird · 12/04/2020 11:33

Just to re-empasise my comment incase it gets missed as not seen it mentioned on other comments by posters read up on glue ear, they can still hear but hear everything muffled like they are under water or have their fingers in their ears that type of sound

Crazycatlady83 · 12/04/2020 11:34

Firstly, you are not a disgusting mum - it sounds like you are doing a amazing job. It is a very difficult and stressful time. Be kind to yourself.

My son was non-verbal until he was 3 years and 1 months. He also had some words between the ages of 10-12 months but lost these by 16 months. Hearing fine and he has a diagnosis of ASD. He is such a happy little chap, very loving as well. He now has good speech, speaking in sentences. His understanding of more complex language isn’t there yet but we are working on it. There is definitely hope, please don’t despair!

We went to see a speech therapist who also specialised in sensory integration. We also do OT. These are private as we didn’t feel the NHS offered what we needed to really push our son. All the private therapies are closed for the lockdown but this might be worth looking into if it is a possibility?

Original poster
Trapordo · 12/04/2020 11:34

Thanks Ther. As a family we feel there is a definite ASD diagnosis pending, it's just the not knowing.

Maybe id be less worried if he just didn't speak, but he also doesn't understand very much and doesn't play. Also doesn't like social interaction and seeks out familiar adults but blanks children. Literally just blanks them, couldn't care less they're there

OP posts:
KevinsCarter · 12/04/2020 11:34

DD didn't babble or make animal sounds. She had a high pitched scream which she used to communicate. She had 4 words at 2.5 and 16 at 3. The ASC assessments have come back as 'she's quirky come back at 7'.

We had lots of SALT and she went into school with a great vocab but about a year behind in conversational skills.

The SALT course that worked for us was called BEST. You show a picture and describe it in a short sentence and ask them what is happening.

I also caught her copying alphablocks on the tablet age 3. So I taught her to read and her talking spiralled from there. She is also very interested in maths so we practice talking by stealth there. Conversation is still stilted, but she's getting there.

You need a hearing check, then they'll assess from there. You may also find that if he won't engage, try to sit with him and describe what he is doing in the most positive language you can muster. Think American chat show.