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Original poster

You are 30 years old again......

54 replies

yellowpolkadots101 · 11/04/2020 13:28

What are you doing with your life? Are you happy?? (Job, partner, hobbies, house, children, pets etc)

If you could go back in time what would you do differently? Do you feel happy to be 30 years old again?

Light thread... trying to distract myself from the awful news at the moment!

OP posts:

TheDogsMother · 11/04/2020 14:23

It was 1993, I was newly married, we'd each had a home when we got together now both in negative equity. Interest rates soared to 18% for a time then I was made redundant which was incredibly worrying. Silver lining though as I hated the job and managed to find one I loved even though it was a downturn. We were skint but generally happy.

Original poster

yellowpolkadots101 · 11/04/2020 14:35

Feel like it's only fair to disclose my answer! Cheating a bit as I have just turned 30 last week so i have no hind sight yet!

I am fortunate in many ways and I am happy with a lovely partner, I look at him and cant believe how lucky I am to have met a genuine kind caring lovely individual. We live in a small rented flat and have done for 5 years in a not so desirable area in order to save for a house deposit. We have been looking to buy a small first home for a year where I grew up in a small town on the edge of a big city- but weve had several hurdles which has halted the progress of buying. My partners job is on the line and I selfishly worry that our future of buying a home, hopefully getting married and having children will be delayed. I have anxiety and I worry a lot that I am going to leave ttc until too late. I am fortunate that for now, my job is stable with a reasonable salary. I hope I can look back at being 30 and have overcome the awful anxiety periods that sometimes leaves me unable to function- despite the worries I do look forward to my future and realise how lucky I am to have a roof over my head with a loving partner. I hope living in this flat will provide stability for our future as it has enabled us to save. I also hope the economy will not be as damaged as I fear it will and our savings may need to be used to keep us afloat.
Thank you for your answers so far, I find it really interesting how everyone has different paths in life, I really do hope those that wernt so happy at 30 took a positive turn as life progressed.

OP posts:

Waterandlemonjuice · 11/04/2020 14:35

I’d just split up with my long term boyfriend after it became clear that (despite proposing) he had no intention of marrying me. I lived in a lovely sub let flat in central London. I worked for a glamorous global company, had lots of friends, a hectic social life and was thin and attractive. I smoked 40 Silk Cut Ultra low a day (more if out) and had dark hair, cut in a sharp bob. Ex took me on a weekend away for my 30th even though we’d split up. I wasn’t that happy because I had no idea what I wanted.

Within six months I’d started a fling with a work colleague, got pregnant, got married (in that order) and moved in with him. We had a baby but broke up within 2 years.

I moved out of London, met dh2, had another baby, restarted my career, stayed friendly with dh1 and more or less lived happily ever after.

I’m now blonde, happy, married and haven’t smoked for 18 years 🙂

Foxes157 · 11/04/2020 14:36

At 30, I'd been married 5 years, was at sahm to 3 kids.

I'd moved into my house about 18 months before and was doing it up.

It was also the year I learnt to drive and had some new found independence.

mayoral · 11/04/2020 14:41

Was only 2 years ago but I was moving house and extremely unhappy about it. A few months away from conceiving DD2. Was and still am SAHM

OhTheRoses · 11/04/2020 14:51

Almost 30 years go. Had a fab job, my own house and had fallen in love with DH who at the time was impoverished and very early in his career. Biggest dream was getting married and having four children.

Managed two DC. Still married happily DC in their 20s.

beachcomber70 · 11/04/2020 14:59

A long time ago: I had ended my marriage [at 28] for a number of reasons and was embarking on a new life as a single mother to two, by now 10 and 7. I had met a new partner, we had a new house and life was interesting and exciting.

However I did not know what the next couple of years would bring...the most devastating and unhappy time of my life.

If I had known I would have talked properly and in depth with my husband and I know we could have sorted out the problems in the marriage. We just did not communicate. And the grass was certainly not greener. I was a trusting naïve idiot. I owe my kids. I have done a lot to make it all up to them.

DFAMA · 11/04/2020 15:07

Pregnant with dc2, skint, unhappily married to a selfish irresponsible man although it took me a few more years to work that out. A few years on I'm a single parent with a great job and much happier.

TSSDNCOP · 11/04/2020 15:21

Glad you ask, it's 1998 and I'll be getting married next years, coming up on 21 years in 2 weeks.

I work in the City and fly around the world. I'm like Chandler Bing as none of my friends can ever remember what I do.

I bought a flat 2 years ago, that is cute and will make me enough money to halve the mortgage on the house we'll buy in 2000.

Then it all stalled when DH became sick and fertility problems struck. Those City bonuses came in handy.Took 7 years to get back on plan though.

StillMedusa · 11/04/2020 15:24

No, I was struggling with post natal depression! My youngest (of four) was born with disabilities and I was struggling to get my head around it and look after four children aged 5 and under! DH was fabulous tho, and just at the end of being 30 DS2 finally smiled for the first time.

(now they are all fabulous young adults, a doctor, nurse, care worker and my youngest is making us proudest of all as he has a job in a supermarket, and despite his autism and learning difficulties he is going to work the same as always and serving with a smile)

I'd like to pop back 22 years and tell my 30 year old self that we were all going to be ok, I was so scared and miserable at the time.

Mammyloveswine · 11/04/2020 15:26

At 30 I was the slimmest I'd been and felt and looked great! I was getting back on track at work and had an adorable 1 year old..

2 days after turning 30 I found out I was pregnant with surprise DS2...

HighNetGirth · 11/04/2020 15:46

Well, if I could go back and do things differently, I would be much more money savvy and save for the future. I would also be bolder and more adventurous about life, love and travel.

Being 30 was surprisingly hard, but life is good now.

ThinkAboutItTomorrow · 11/04/2020 16:05

Hell yes. Living in Manhattan pre children. Good times. Lots of travel around the US and Central America

MarieQueenofScots · 11/04/2020 16:06

Pretty happy to be honest.

The only thing I would change it giving IVF a go instead of deciding not to.

VeryShortNotice · 11/04/2020 16:08

If I were 30 again, I’d leave my ex (rather than waiting another 7 years), move to the city I actually worked in and improve my life immeasurably.

mamaduckbone · 11/04/2020 16:20

I'd be expecting my first baby, doing the same job that I do now albeit at a lower pay scale. I'd still be missing London and my friends, having moved out to the area I grew up a year ago to be able to afford a house.

I'd be working really hard with dh to get our new house ready for the arrival of baby with not much disposable income.

I'd still have both parents, who would be helping loads with the house.

We still live in the same house, that baby is now a 6'2" teenager with a 10 year old brother and I now have a very elderly mum but haven't had dad for nearly 12 years.
I'd say overall I'm probably happier now (financial security, stable friendships, more hobbies) but there isn't much I wouldn't give for dad to have seen my boys grow up.

HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime · 11/04/2020 16:29

The year I turned 30 was the year my life finally got back on track, I had finished Uni early after finding out I was pregnant with Dd 7 years before and had been single for all of that time and hadn't had much disposable income. I had accepted that I was going to really focus on myself, so the year I turned 30 I passed my driving test, bought my flat, adopted the maniac that is DCat. I had just started my OU degree and I was really healthy, running 5 times a week and a size 10.

4 years later, I'm a size 18, drive everywhere, never have time to exercise (apart from now of course), have 2 years of my OU degree left been promoted at work which has led to more responsibility and hours which lead to less time. I think I'd happily go back to being 30.

Crownofthorns · 11/04/2020 16:34

I had been with DH for two years and just got engaged. I was settled and happy with a good job and planning my wedding (got married at 31). I wish we had started trying for kids earlier though as although we started trying just after getting married it took us four years in total and an IVF attempt before having DD at 35. I do look back at that age fondly though as most of my 30s were quite fraught in different ways (I’m now 40). I was also in really good physical shape which I need right get back to!

biscuitsanddiddums · 11/04/2020 16:39

On my 30th birthday had just moved from Germany to Canada. Dd was a year old. All our pipes froze and we couldn’t get it fixed until spring, so we moved house for the second time in two months (albeit in the same town, not a different continent lol)
Picked up a pt job fairly easily in a new sector. All big time of change really.

Deadringer · 11/04/2020 16:40

Probably the happiest time of my life. Married with 2 dc, age 4 and 2, enjoyed my part time job, lots of friends, family all healthy. The next year was shit as my dh got cancer. (He recovered thank goodness)

Deadringer · 11/04/2020 16:42

Oh yes forgot to add, i was at my ideal weight, had just got my gold card from ww.

BikeRunSki · 11/04/2020 16:45

I was having a tight old time!! Been married about a year. Just bought our first house. Had a decent career-degree-related job with a prestigious player in my field. No dc. No desire for dc. Plenty of weekends away. Couple of foreign holidays a year, one of them skiing. Life was good.

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 11/04/2020 16:48

I had just come out of a seven year relationship. Was broke and living in a bedsit. I had no bed as I owned two bicycles (my pride and joy) and there wasn't room for both so I slept on the floor

I was quite depressed and struggling with the aftermath of the break up for a long time and nearly lost my job because of it.

BoswellsBollocks · 11/04/2020 17:00

In some ways I’d love to be 30 again. My DC were lovely ages, I was working part time in a job I really enjoyed, I was a bit thinner and my hair a bit thicker 😄

However, my 30th year wasn’t at all good. My dad died in the January, my brother had a horrific road traffic accident which nearly killed him, then my mum was diagnosed with lung cancer later in the year.

Can I go back to being 29 please and stay there?

Dowser · 11/04/2020 17:03

No thanks, I’m just getting over a very nasty bout of pneumonia that had me in hospital for two weeks and thought I was going to leave my three children motherless

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