My friend wants to meet me, please help me explain the rules about gatherings of two people.

[peoplepleaser1]

My best friend who lives a few streets away is a nurse working in a respiratory ward in our local hospital. Her Work is currently so so hard, emotional and frightening.

She's an absolute trooper, so brave and I've been trying to support her from afar, with messages, calls and flowers.

She has messaged me this morning asking to meet up with our dogs for a '2 metres apart walk".

I'm floored at the thought. I know this is not ok.

She thinks that we are allowed gatherings of 2 people as long as social distancing of 2 metres is observed. She's now hurt that I've said no. I have explained no one should be seeing anyone other than those they live with, except when working.

I absolutely do know I can't meet her. But I want to explain this without making her feel I don't want to support her, or that I feel she's a risk to me because of her work.

Now that I think about it the gathering 'of 2 people' rule is a bit confusing to me. I'm NOT saying I'd meet her, but I am struggling to get my head around that rule.

Can anyone please point me to some official guidance or wording that I could use to explain to her why we can't meet.

I've been wondering about this. I haven't met up with any friends, but I have had a couple of small conversations with complete strangers in the park or while passing their house, definitely from way more than two metres away so why is it different if it's a friend?

I have had a couple of small conversations with complete strangers in the park or while passing their house, definitely from way more than two metres away so why is it different if it's a friend?

It's not about the individual risk, it's that it weakens the boundary of the rule in the first place.

Someone can't see the harm in meeting up with a friend; someone else sees it and can't see the harm in meeting up with a friend and inviting another friend along; someone else can't see the harm in doing that and taking separate picnic blankets for lunch; someone else can't see the harm in sitting on the opposite side of the same picnic blanket - after all, it's about 2m x 2m; someone else can't see the harm in sharing the mayonnaise and so it goes on.

These rules arent a magic wand. They're not going to 'end' CV19 (as I keep seeing on fb). Nor are they going to guarantee any individual doesn't catch it but, what it does do, is create a 'collective consciousness' and a 'panopticon effect' whereby we 'police' ourselves based on the actions and perceived observations of others.

If people don't follow these 'rules', then the government is quite likely to impose even more restrictions.

As other posts have suggested Skype or WhatsApp- you can have face to face chats then. I am the only adult in my household si my three virtual coffee mornings a week via HouseParty is a real help. Theres about 8 of us so if a few candy make it (because they've slept in or are working) there enough. Just keeping in touch and sharing is worth a lot. She probably needs some one away from work and not a family member to decompress with. Encourage her to try it via video.

@PlanDeRaccordement

Do not meet others, even friends or family

The rules are clear, but not what you're saying.

@tectonicplates. A few seconds of conversation with a stranger over 2m apart is low risk (not no risk). Meeting a friend is going be to for more than a few seconds and 2m is quite a bit more distance than most people realise and with friends it's natural to drift closer together, speak more directly to each other and talk for a prolonged period of time. Asymptomatic transmission makes it very unwise to arrange meetings, even outside, with people you care about.

If it's difficult not to see someone for a few weeks, why the actual hell would you arrange either deliberately or 'accidentally on purpose' to meet up with them now. It's beyond stupid.

Each time she begins a shift some of the patients she was caring for the previous day have moved to intensive care, and many are dying. She's told me many of her sick patients are under 50, non smokers, and previously fit and healthy. She is terrified and has never dealt with a situation like this. She is haunted by caring for people who she knows will die alone

Yet she wants you to meet up with her?!?!

Beggars belief, honestly.

The regulations say exercise is permitted with members of your household. It follows that exercise with others isn't.

The thing is that you can support her just as well by having Skype/Zoom meetings as by walking two metres away from her. She really needs to give that a try.

@PlanDeRaccordement

Are you quite sure you aren’t confused?

1. Staying at home

You should only leave the house for very limited purposes:

shopping for basic necessities, for example food and medicine, which must be as infrequent as possible.

one form of exercise a day, for example a run, walk, or cycle - alone or with members of your household.

any medical need, including to donate blood, avoid or escape risk of injury or harm, or to provide care or to help a vulnerable person.

travelling for work purposes, but only where you cannot work from home.

These reasons are exceptions - even when doing these activities, you should be minimising time spent outside of the home and ensuring you are 2 metres apart from anyone outside of your household.

It would be legal to meet her - the regulations allow gatherings of two people from different households as long as they have both left their houses for permissible reasons such as shopping or exercise (possibly, and I am speculating here, because otherwise people living alone wouldn't see anyone at all).

However, it is contrary to the government guidance, and as she is nursing Covid patients she really should follow the guidance very strictly.

No it's not ok , you are not supposed to meet someone from another household.
I know of people who have dropped flowers off left on the door step and waved from the road technically not allowed but they aren't meeting just dropping a gift off waving then . Going .
Meeting up even 2 meters is not allowed , if you saw her while walking waved said you ok then walked away that would be different but you'd be too tempted to chat for 10+ minutes so I don't think it'd be a good idea .

the people going for "2 metres apart dog walking" together in our park are incredibly selfish. they walk along chatting either side of the pavement, a nice safe 2m between them, and their dogs on leads off sniffing 2-4m either side - so when another person is coming the other way, between the two of them they are hogging about 10 metres of space width ways and they don't give a toss about the huge diversion from the path that others have to make to get around them.

If you have the space to meet her (over 2m, you can speak on the phone and walk apart for example) I would.

Your friend needs support, seeing a friendly face from a few meters apart in these circumstances are helpful to somebody who’s really struggling by the sounds of it and while not exempt from risk it’s pretty low risk as long as you avoid touching anything and wash hands etc after

The long story is that pretty much ALL of us will catch it at some point - if we haven’t already had it and not really known about it, the point of this exercise in distancing is to put off the WHEN.

They’re now saying it can travel a lot further

This is what the gov website says:

Stopping public gatherings

To make sure people are staying at home and apart from each other, the Government is also stopping all public gatherings of more than two people.

There are only exceptions to this rule for very limited purposes:

where the gathering is of a group of people who live together – this means that a parent can, for example, take their children to the shops if there is no option to leave them at home

where the gathering is essential for work purposes - but workers should try to minimise all meetings and other gatherings in the workplace

My best friend wanted to meet me too. However, she is not self isolating and going out to work and all sorts. I hope she understands when I say I can't go round. I can't even go to the shop. It's a nightmare but people just aren't getting it are they. It's not going to get better if they carry On doing the same things they did before lockdown.

I think texting her something along the lines of you feel uncomfortable breaking the rules but would love to have a Skype coffee/wine catch up would work. That way you can give her the support she might need in a safe way.

I honestly don't see an issue with this as long as you're in a big open space and keep that distance. It's not different to going outside and observing a 2m space between other strangers.

It can spread more than two metres.

Given she is extremely high risk of catching it herself, there is no way I'd be going anywhere near her. I'm surprised anyone on this thread is advocating you can and to stay 2 meters apart. It's likely she's already carrying it and she is acting very irresponsibly by asking you.