Another Radford

[triedandtestedteacher]

Is it me or are the Radfords a bit selfish? Loads of people congratulating them on social media about the new baby. I'm crippled with morning sickness at the moment and I know I'm not giving my dd 100 percent on this homeschooling as a result. How are they all getting homeschooled? How can they possibly attend to all the emotional, mental, physical and educational needs of those children? I caught one episode of their programme that showed her in hospital unable to attend her own son's birthday party because she was having yet another child. I know they say they're self sufficient with the bakery etc but they still use NHS and education resources. Her having that baby at this time is adding to the strain of the NHS. I just don't get how people can congratulate them

@sillysmiles People absolutely should be thinking of environmental concerns when they plan their families.

The planet is overpopulated and keep adding to it is just making more problems for the future.

The UK is so overcrowded now it is ridiculous. Already the NHS can't cope, the education system can't cope, there is not enough work, not enough housing, rents are far too high. GP surgeries can't cope with the number of people. The roads are awful with far too much traffic on them. Just about every time I go anywhere other than fairly local there is always traffic jams.

None of those problems are going away or likely to improve and there is also climate change, food shortages and water shortages and rising sea level to worry about.

But hey lets all totally ignore that and have loads of children and at the same time cost the NHS a fortune (£10,000 each birth if no problems), cost the education system a fortune and cost the benefit system a fortune. Over 20 years of child benefit alone must add up to a substantial amount let alone the tax credits they definitely got at one time even if they don't now.

Sue doesn’t believe in reading?! What, why? What’s her logic there?!

Because she can't be arsed to read them bedtime stories. There is no logic

how many of them are 13 with boyfriends who're so much older that they've left school?

My DS is 16, he and his friends call other boys of their age 'nonce' if they even go out with a girl one year younger. Can't imagine a 17/18 year old thinking it's normal to 'date' a 13 year old 🤮

Slychomping

Children between 13-15 cannot consent legally to sex. They are protected by law. The only way the law would not prosecute is if both offenders were under 16 or if the person having sex with (abusing) the child aged 13-15 can say that they legitimately believed that the child was 16 or over. Neither of those apply to Noel. He was a neighbour. He knew her growing up. He knew her age. He groomed and abused her.

www.childrenssociety.org.uk/old-enough-to-know-better

I think they are selfish and odd. The children may get fed and have a bed but that is a pretty low bar, a good parent wants more than that for their dc surely?

I've read their stories in the newspapers and seen a few episodes of their tv show but I don't have an opinion either way. It's not my business to judge others on their lifestyle choices and we only get snippets of their life so no one actually knows what really goes on. The kids seem happy and healthy and surely now more than ever we should realise that's the most important thing in life.

The kids seem happy and healthy and surely now more than ever we should realise that's the most important thing in life.

Physically healthy yes, and what of their mental health?

I remember watching the documentary a couple of years ago and the teenage boys looked so sad. They said they wished she didn't have any more babies but she ignored them. Obviously their opinion didn't matter

Surprised the baby didn't fall out of her vag this time. Couldn't care less tbh they're selfish and no doubt they're absolutely raking in the child benefits/UC especially now the bakery is closed (I assume it is anyway)

I thought we weren't allowed to give any negative opinions about this family ... fwiw I think it's bonkers and irresponsible to the planet AND to the other kids, and can you imagine what it costs the state. I suspect one or both has MH problems,as it is so far from normal, but this will probably be deleted.

I'm not saying that a teen having sex is thirteen is right. Far from it.
And nowadays he probably would be arrested (I'd be interested to know what would happen today actually). But surely people can see that this individual case is potentially a little more complex than a categoric "lock him up and throw away the key"

My parents had 10 years between them and met when my mother was sixteen and they went on to be married for over fifty years when my df died. There was genuine love and equal partnership between them.

All I am saying is that there are couples who get together (in today's eyes) too young, who marry what we perceive to be "too" young, but who also go on to have successful relationships. Are we going to label every one as exploitative and abusive because they don't fit what is perceived to be "the norm"?

I also don't like the snobbery on here about them not valuing reading etc. Not everyone is particularly literate or academic. That doesn't automatically mean that they are of any less worth because of it and nowhere on the documentary did I hear Sue Radford say she wasnt encouraging reading in her DC. We live in a free country and parents are allowed to value different things. Would she attract the same vitriol if she wanted them to be footballers (as many parents do) above everything else?

Yes this thread will go. They always do.

I don't know why so many people are bothered by what others are doing with their lives. Live and let live and if it doesn't concern you then let it go. Life's too short to worry about other people.

I hope this woman goes through the menopause soon

triedandtestedteacher

Nut you are laying all of the blame for this at his feet, this is not the case.

16 is very different to 13, though. Sly.
She may have been young but she was still of age.

Slychomping you keep moving the goalposts any time someone gives you evidence that contradicts your viewpoints. So much whatabouttery.

In what way? I wanted to know what the law was when they got together and how it was applied then, and what the situation is now.

16 os the age if consent though.

And certainly I would be prepared to argue that there cannot be an equal partnership between a 16 year old and a 26 year old.

I went out with a 26 year old at 16 and it most definitely was not equal.

36 and 46 yeah sure 26 and 36 yeah probably.

As a 21 year old I dated a 36 year old. Both adults but really not an equal partnership in many ways

But a 16 year old cant even legally have a glass if wine with a meal in a pub now with her boyfriend.

I'm not disputing that Aawlookatmybabyspider

It is amazingly odd,and strange,that a couple would wan't to produce so many children, It makes me think about someone shelling peas, just sitting there and opening up, and out pops a load of peas all the time.

The couple never seem to be annoyed, shouty, and under any stress, and their life is just to have sex,and produce babies non stop. You see them often just sitting on the sofa, with a new baby, surrounded by the other children,like they are in a different universe to most people.

I wouldn't like to say anything about their state of minds regarding this never ending need to have a baby non stop. You never get to know about the couples mentality state of mind, as the documentaries mainly focus on the many children,and new baby each time.

The couple never seem to be annoyed, shouty, and under any stress

Did you not see the holiday episode.

Was rather er...illuminating.

'Yes lovely people. He impregnated her at 13, when he was 18. not in the slightest big creepy at all hmm'

What the hell I wasn't aware of that before that's vile it is basically pedophilia.

And certainly I would be prepared to argue that there cannot be an equal partnership between a 16 year old and a 26 year old

That's absolutely fair enough and I wouldn't argue against it, and the times were very different then, but equally, is there no room for couples to grow, to change over time, and for the balance of power to change over time too?

I've no doubt my father knew more about life when my parents married. But my mother was undoubtedly the more confident of the pair. Over time they developed an equal balance; for many years I'd say. My !other was no shrinking violet. And at the end, my df was frail and my mother was nursing him and the balance had changed again.

Life is complicated. And of course the possibility of love (in the genuine sense) is rarely mentioned on Mnsnet!

I'm not saying that is the case with the Radford's by the way. I don't know them.

I'm certainly looking at them with a more cynical eye now though thanks to everyone's posts. But I still don't feel comfortable standing in the position of judge and jury either.

@FrippEnos At what point did she stop being the victim? It's hard to say. I don't think she's blameless in what is happening now but in the beginning I think you could blame him yes

Anyone would believe she had no say in the matter, about how many children she has had.

Well I think thats the difference between you and the rest of us

There is not a single way if looking at a 13 year old and a 17 year old and thinking theres not something iffy there.

Stockholm syndrome is a documented condition. Victims of the most horrific crimes will sometimes sympathise or "fall in love" with their attackers/abusers.

Being married changes nothing imo.

In some stages if america judges sign off on girls aged 14 etc getting married. Does not make it right