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Original poster

Another Radford

344 replies

triedandtestedteacher · 08/04/2020 10:08

Is it me or are the Radfords a bit selfish? Loads of people congratulating them on social media about the new baby. I'm crippled with morning sickness at the moment and I know I'm not giving my dd 100 percent on this homeschooling as a result. How are they all getting homeschooled? How can they possibly attend to all the emotional, mental, physical and educational needs of those children? I caught one episode of their programme that showed her in hospital unable to attend her own son's birthday party because she was having yet another child. I know they say they're self sufficient with the bakery etc but they still use NHS and education resources. Her having that baby at this time is adding to the strain of the NHS. I just don't get how people can congratulate them

OP posts:
Nonnymum · 08/04/2020 14:47

I agree OP that they are mad to have so many children and in don't see how they can give any of them individual I also feel sorry for the little ones who have not been able to be babies for long.
But unfair to say at this time they shouldn't be having more children because they didn't know we would be in this situation when she got pregnant. Also it's not the babies fault so the birth of a child should be greeted positively.

lookingformybrain · 08/04/2020 14:48

Can't get upset about things like this. As long as the kids end up as respectable members of society and not violent criminals then what's the problem?

Original poster
triedandtestedteacher · 08/04/2020 14:50

@Nonnymum but every time they have a baby and they get 3.5k likes and comments about how beautiful the baby is etc they are being encouraged. It's just outrageous

Another Radford
Another Radford
Another Radford
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Families
Slychomping · 08/04/2020 14:51

Triedandtestedteacher thank you for the straightforward response. Obviously that's awful if it's true. Do we know this for sure though or is it speculation? I wasn't aware of the risk to her health or his refusal to have a vasectomy. Has that been verified? If so, then I am happy to stand corrected, there seem to be thousands of posts on Mumsnet against them, I can't claim my knowledge is superior in any way! But surely such serious accusations must be proven?

AnonymityIsGreat · 08/04/2020 14:52

My brother is three years younger than me and my sister is a year younger than him. The idea of 17-year-old me starting a relationship with one of their friends... They were kids to me. As has been said, four years is a huge gap at that age.

The fact that a 17-year-old was interested in a 13-year-old at all is creepy. A 17-year-old having sex with a 13-year-old is very, very wrong. Them staying together doesn't make how it all came about all fine and dandy and it doesn't have to be paedophilia for it to have been completely inappropriate.

ChandlerIsTheBestFriend · 08/04/2020 14:52

What are people saying exactly saying then Chandleristhebestfriend? Please explain!

That he, at 17, groomed and sexually abused a 13 year old who was not old enough to consent to have sex. There is irrefutable evidence of this.

SarahTancredi · 08/04/2020 14:52

I would be equally horrified about that latter suggestion. I don't think anyone is saying that

The nspcc's own definition of child sexual abuse is something that an adult did that the child didnt want/like.

Unless they re wrote it since.

I recently read the sammy woodhouse book. The police were told over a hundred times and apparently werent able to do anything unless the clearly groomed teenager would speak up against her abuser.

When confronted with a situation where police burst in on a man clearly having sex with an underage girl they arrested her fir a weapon .

It's a society wide thing sadly

AnonymityIsGreat · 08/04/2020 14:55

And of course, girls get pregnant underage but how many of them are 13 with boyfriends who're so much older that they've left school? I'd bet not many.

Wolfgirrl · 08/04/2020 14:55

I love big families, as in 4 or 5 kids. Any more than 6 or 7 and it starts to get silly. 22? Madness.

The parents identity revolves around having 22 kids and the kids' identities revolve around being one of the Radfords. None of the grown up ones seem to venture far from home, I think one moved away then came back again. Out of that many kids there are going to be a few natural homebirds but it seems like literally none of them have their own 'thing' going on iyswim (as far as I'm aware anyway). I get the impression most of them will hang about and just have a big family of their own because they cant contemplate any other life.

I will be very interested to see what happens to Sue when she hits the menopause or is no longer able to have babies. I wonder if she will just encourage the older daughters to have babies and then try to 'mother' them or something.

On the upside their house is tidy, the kids seem well looked after physically and I do believe she loves them. But they cant possibly have the time and resources to go the extra mile if that makes sense.

Original poster
triedandtestedteacher · 08/04/2020 14:56

@Slychomping no as far as I know he's not been asked to have a vasectomy but the risk to her health is obvious. If he cared about her health this would be a no brainier

OP posts:
Slychomping · 08/04/2020 14:58

OKPedro
You framed their relationship as a love story. You said teen sweethearts who had a baby young

I wasn't implying it was a good thing! Surely that goes without saying? I was saying that it does happen. I personally know a lad in the sixth form who settled down with someone who was in the class two years below. According to Facebook, they are still happily married 35 years later. Obviously this is an exception to the rule, but it wasn't as unusual as it is now, back in the late 70s/early 80s.

AnonymityIsGreat · 08/04/2020 15:01

The Radfords were neighbours from when she was a primary school kid. He was friends with her older brother. Even without it being a 13-year-old and a 17-year-old, which I'd imagine is a much bigger age gap than most school relationships, that's instantly a very different dynamic to two kids who met through being at high school together.

H1978 · 08/04/2020 15:03

I read in the the sun that he had a vasectomy after baby 9 then had a reversal Confused

dottiedodah · 08/04/2020 15:03

I think they are irresponsible and selfish TBH.I cant see how it is possible to give each child any time at all one to one really .All they seem to do is have a baby ,coo over it and start planning for another one ASAP! Apart from the obvious impact on the enviroment ,they also use up NHS resources ,Schooling and so on.Surely this was one reason the pill was invented to protect womens bodies from the onslaught of huge families . What will happen when she is too old to have any more I wonder?

FrippEnos · 08/04/2020 15:05

triedandtestedteacher

But we also know that she keeps wanting to have more children.

WorriedMummyNow · 08/04/2020 15:08

I genuinely worried about what happens to the children if the patents die unexpectedly.

Unless the older children step in to become guardians and pick up where their patents left off then that's a whole lot of children to find foster homes for! Foster care costs an enormous amount of money, places are in very short supply and a lot of children end up in horrific situations and mentally damaged as a result.

Let's hope it never happens!

Original poster
triedandtestedteacher · 08/04/2020 15:09

@FrippEnos yes but it's like having an alcoholic partner. You wouldn't put the bottle in their hands would you?

OP posts:
sillysmiles · 08/04/2020 15:11

I grew up in a large family so to me, when I watch the TV show I think it looks like the best craic growing up in that house. I think the kids are close to each other, which is great. There are a load of families in the country who's kids are worse off.

Also I think the "environmental impact" is a bit of a red herring as I think very few people plan their families based on environmental concerns.

TBH, I find it very hard to get worked about this family.

AllTheWhoresOfMalta · 08/04/2020 15:12

Can’t be nice for anyone in that house.

Slychomping · 08/04/2020 15:18

That he, at 17, groomed and sexually abused a 13 year old who was not old enough to consent to have sex. There is irrefutable evidence of this.

Thank you for the clarification Chandleristhebest friend.

If this is true then obviously it is indefensible and horrific.

But if it is proven without reasonable doubt, then why isn't he behind bars?

And out of interest, what would happen to a 17 year old boy nowadays who had sex with someone three or four years younger and got her pregnant? I am NOT defending the behaviour - absolutely not - but would everyone assume he was an abuser and rapist? Isn't this situation a little more complex than categorically "he is an abuser" ? Especially when they go on to marry and stay together for years? Is the girl/wife automatically assumed to have no agency over her life whatsoever? Isn't this bordering on reverse sexism?

I know this is a very complicated area and other then having a teen daughter, I am no expert in it, but surely the questions are worth asking?

TheGreatWave · 08/04/2020 15:21

It's also batshit that she has to he induced now to try and control her pregnancy and they won't induce her unless a bed for the baby in the special bit is available I can't remember what you call them.

When I went into labour at 36+3 they had to make sure there was a cot available in the nursery. I guess had there not been I would have been transferred elsewhere. (He didn't need it in the end) They were obviously concerned enough to ensure there was a plan in place for Sue and the baby.

Slychomping · 08/04/2020 15:22

I genuinely worried about what happens to the children if the patents die unexpectedly.

In the unlikely (but you never know!) event that dh and I die from Covid-19, my daughter (only child) would have no brothers or sisters to be with, or look after her. Which is worse?

ChandlerIsTheBestFriend · 08/04/2020 15:25

If this is true then obviously it is indefensible and horrific.

What do you mean “if” it is true? Confused she gave birth to his child aged 14. What more proof do you need that he, aged 17 had sex with her, aged 13 when she wasn’t legally old enough to consent? Confused

But if it is proven without reasonable doubt, then why isn't he behind bars?

No one reported him to the police.

ChandlerIsTheBestFriend · 08/04/2020 15:27

what would happen to a 17 year old boy nowadays who had sex with someone three or four years younger and got her pregnant?

If it was your daughter- what would you hope to happen?

I have a 14 year old son. I would be calling the police on any 18 year old man or woman attempting to have sex with him.

JingsMahBucket · 08/04/2020 15:29

@Slychomping you keep moving the goalposts any time someone gives you evidence that contradicts your viewpoints. So much whatabouttery.

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