Tell me your favourite childhood toys which were actually shit

[ClapForCats]

I loved the Magic Robot.

Also a newspaper board game called "SCOOP!"

@bakedbeanzontoast I had Ghost Castle too, I loved the mechanics of it! But it wasn't as random as it should have been - the knight's axe was activated far more often than the skull rolling down the stairs. Also it was incredibly rare to be sent forwards when the skull activated the secret panel.

I was once given a shop-bought "pin the tail on the donkey", with a flimsy little cardboard mask, which I could easily see out of if I tilted my head in the right direction. I loved that version, because it meant I would win! But my mum realised this, and blindfolded me (and everyone else) with a tightly tied scarf, which meant I couldn't see anything, so I didn't win!

Yes, those are poppers. Small instruments of torture. Let’s see if we can pop it in her eye. So much fun!

We also had Ghost Castle.

I’m also loving the nostalgia of this thread.

Yes I loved SCOOP!

Someone mentioned pogosticks.

I longed for one as they often featured in the cartoon stories in Dandy and Beano, where kids using them hopped satisfyingly long distances.

When I was given one, immense disappointment that they were only good for hopping on the spot, absolutely no chance of leaping up the road..

Used to spend hours trying to get some little ball bearings around a maze .It was plastic with a clear window etc and one had to tilt it until the balls rolled into the centre .I found some at a car boot last year and showed a teen what to do but they just said " that's shit ,not worth ten pence ... "

Reading this thread has brought back some memories - I also wanted a Mr Frostie and never got one; it was so upsetting as a kid but now, as an adult, it’s fully understandable.

I loved my Speak and Spell, and Little Professor though it was more educational. I also had a yellow Munchman toy made by Grandstand and a Simon Says. I think I was really lucky that my parents would allow all those electronic toys/gadgets.

My friend across the road had various of the Sindy gadgets such as the kitchen with a cooker that made cooking sounds when you put the frying pan on the hob and a shower that had a water reservoir and would ‘work’ when you pumped a hidden handle. We would congregate on her mum’s doorstep to play with that as she wasn’t allowed to have it filled up indoors.

Does anyone remember lights out? Handheld plastic console with about 25 buttons that lit up, when you pressed one it and all the ones round it changed if they were on or off, and you had to press them and try to get all the lights out. Sounds really dull written like that but I loved it and it’s actually probably food for logic skills or something.

I was Also not allowed cabbage patch dolls or a mr frosty, much to my upset at the time. However, like Adidas trousers, my mum was right that they were crap and a waste of money.

Poppers were banned at primary school because someone stuck one to his head and it had to be prised off, leaving a lovely circular red bruise in the centre of his forehead.

Etch a sketch was basically shit. I liked lights Alive though.

Did anybody else have the ricochet game? It was a plastic orange box covered with a plastic front and had a ball bearing in. You had a little magnetic gun and you had to pick up the ball bearing and fire it at targets.

I had a third hand pogo stick (very poor childhood) and the rubber end had come off, so I used to leave circular stamp marks on any hard surfaces when I jumped. I got very good at it and could cover quite a lot of, now pock-marked, ground on it.

Also good at stilts. And we used to skip with cast off bits of plastic coated washing line!

I did get a Mr frosty , a pile of crap of you tried grating ice cubes but it was sort of ok if you used them long icepops .
I had that tree house I loved it .
Mouse trap and Domino Rally, ( action ally ??) Took way to month to set up
As did kaplunk , who makes a kids toy with deathly sharp 8 inch long bits of plastic anyone who had that spent more time either trying to get the plastic spikes into the holes or poking anyone within range .
I had a etch a sketch, then progressed to a magna doodle. ( woo hoo )

Ooh what about all the board games that were pop-o-matic'ed I remember the first one we got a game of frustration my Ddad spent ages trying to figure out how to get the dice out so we could play the game
I had a typewriter that had a ( daisy ? ) wheel with the letters on the you had to turn to get each letter in place . It took FOREVER to write a sentence. .
I also had a dome magnet about 4 inches across with 100s of sharp diamond shaped pieces of metal that the magnet held together. It was more along the lines of an executive desk toy rather than the kids toy a bit like Newton's cradle .

Teddy ruxpin! It’s mouth would move and would read a story. Terrifying

Here is the scary 80s version

Spirograph and Fashion Wheel

Mr potato head , although one of my oldest friends has a funny memory of her, her DM and my DM running out into the hall in panic because what they thought was me throwing myself down the stairs was me throwing my mr potato head down the stairs in tantrum mode .

Oh I also had this weird playdo Barber shop/hairdresser thing. My DM is so much better at buying presents now.
I want to hug my mum, so bad 😢.

Most disappointing toy of my childhood was this jelly alien we all thought could have babies if you put it with someone else’s jelly alien.

Not exactly a toy but something I was desperate for and never got (probably because my mum rightly thought they were rubbish) was Clark’s magic shoes, which were shoes with a key hole and a key you could turn to reveal a picture.