To be ashamed that my life is as normal??

[BeingLonely]

Name changed sorry!

All I keep hearing from the government is how life shouldn’t feel normal just now but mine does. Granted the kids are off school and me and OH are still at work because we are key workers but otherwise nothing has changed.

I don’t socialise, I have no friends. We don’t have babysitters so no date nights. I can’t remember the last time I was in a pub or had a fun night.

It’s sad to see everyone saying how much they miss their friends and family and how they can’t wait to get together when I know for me life will stay the same.

Anyone else feeling the same and just wanting a sad moan?

after this go to different local restaurants with DH, use a babysitter, and go to popular films at the cinema. It then give you something to talk to your colleagues about. Most people are interested in how good restaurants and takeaways are, whether a films is worth seeing.

I have agoraphobia, not much has changed for me. I'm struggling to cope with extra people at home messing up my routine. I was just starting to improve and now it's physically not safe to be out WTF!

I'm another one on mat leave feeling sad at having to isolate with a baby. As others have said, my little one will have changed so much buy the time anyone gets to see him.

My other 2 children are more school aged anyway though so life hasn't changed much for them which I am grateful for.

But if you really think he should know then drop it into conversation that with everything weird that is going on it the world right now, perhaps it would be a good time for him to drop his step son a line and check that he's doing ok.

That way, if he cares enough, he'll find out for himself. If not then just mind your own business.

whoops, sorry wrong thread!

I miss my walking on my own going to and from work.

No nothing has for changed for me either

Still going work a few hours a day. My job is quite isolated at the minute but i am very happy not seeing anyone.

When I get home though nothing has changed apart from we are not running to the shops every 5 minutes. Or going for a coffee in the car just for the sake of it.

And its saved quite a bit of money so far

Why be ashamed?

My life hasn't changed much.
I am an introvert, I am not keen on socialising, I adore my own company, I don't have to justify that to anyone.
I am happiest when I am at home.
I also work from home and that has carried on as normal during these times.
OH continues to go to work as usual.
I am acutely aware that some people have had drastic changes to their lives and their jobs have gone or they work in a risky environment.
It doesn't make me ashamed or sad about the stability in my life though.

I think it depends upon how much of an extrovert life we lead as a rule. I lead quite a quiet life but I do miss meeting clients and the numbers are reduced so income is reduced temporarily but I can work around that. Also I cannot attend the Buddhist meetings other than virtual. This is still very helpful however. I still keep in touch with friends everywhere who don't just live around here and this is what I usually do anyway. The main area of difference is I have my 15 year old teenage boy nonstop at home in a small 2 bed house now that school is shut for the foreseeable. So noise and interruptions occasional shouting and swearing and endless meals dishes etc although he does help somewhat.

Why not join any virtual groups online meanwhile to anybody who wishes to integrate a little more?

My life has hardly changed. But I'm not ashamed. Pretty happy l can carry on as normal. We both key workers so still work. I never went out much, just the odd coffee with people after work. We now just have coffee at work. My kids all grown and left home and family far away so only see them a few times a year. They only thing that has changed is that if we get a day off together we used to go out for day somewhere different a drive away. Now we make do with a walk on the beach
If you not happy with your life maybe think about how you want to change it after this over.

I get what you're saying op, but maybe look on it as a wakeup call to try and create the life you want for yourself when this is all over? That's how i'm choosing to frame it

There are a few minor social differences, rather than seeing the grandparents, there's a video call. Lacking the weekly trip to 'bounce bounce' or soft play, , and the toddler swim lessons are cancelled, otherwise home is the same. Work has changed massively of course (NHS, I'm in respiratory outpatients dept, other half is in antenatal dept) and nursery has far fewer kids.

Same, except I'm not sad about it. I saw a post on Facebook yesterday saying that this is what introverts have been training for their whole lives

I'm sure the novelty will wear off but for now I'm loving the fact that society has no expectations of me aside from staying inside.

I'm still working so life does feel normal. I do miss my friends though and going out.

Me too op, Dh and I are both key workers so it's still the morning grind. Dc are off obviously but they are teens and in their rooms a lot. I still go to the supermarket once a week and exercise at home so yep not a lot has changed for us here.

Same pretty much, only minor differences. My husband is a key worker working about 5 more hours a week. I've been furloughed on full pay from my 3 day a week job. Instead of being home 4 days with two toddlers, I'm home 7 days with them. We normally have to use grandparents to cover our shift overlaps so I'm enjoying not having that headache, but missing the opportunity of my parents visiting and entertaining the girls for a few hours. I normally go out for two walks locally a week as we're rural, maybe to soft play every other week. My eldest had just started preschool but hadn't even completed a term so that wasn't part of our routine yet anyway. We're actually incredibly lucky that our pay has stayed the same and outgoings have dropped because of my commute/playgroup fees so we're actually better off at the moment.

We are retired so life currently is just a continuation of our winter routine. We don't tend to do much dec/jan/feb usually, so it's just more of the same. Of course, like many others, now the weather is getting better we would have been planning holidays and days out, (instead of planning days in!), but, on the plus side, no holidays means money saved.
I am very grateful that we are not in the terrible situation that this virus has put many people financially. If we were still working we would have been up shit creek, so I am grateful for small mercies.

@amazedmummy

Same. On mat leave, 8mo baby, DP has to lock himself away to wfh so on the treadmill of play, feed, change, nap.

I'm trying to see it as quality time with DD before mat leave ends, but I know what you mean, baby groups and getting out and about makes all the difference.

Perhaps for some people here the current situation has shone a light on a rut they were in?

OP, if you and your DH can go out to work leaving the children at home, then you don't need a babysitter for a date night? Perhaps you could plan to do that every fortnight (or something) when lockdown is lifted?

RupertBear your children must be 16, 15 and 14 but you talk like they are still toddlers. Perhaps you can plan to take your life back a bit when this is over?

It's a good time to take stock.

It’s sad to see everyone saying how much they miss their friends and family and how they can’t wait to get together when I know for me life will stay the same

That bit applies to me to. I’ve not worked since 18th March though (had 2 weeks off booked, stayed in per advice except exercise for first 7, now having to isolate for 14 days). I miss (briefly, to say hello) seeing school mums, talking (briefly) to people in shops. I miss walking to shops, school and work. I miss taking the kids out. I miss fresh air. I miss work. Plus I’m worried about those in my house that are ill.

The upside of all this? Facebook isnt full of people all going out, and me being left thinking"why wasnt I invited?"

I see, or message, the same people as usual. Only thing missing is my looping wanderings to get too/from school, and getting out and doing stuff with the kids at the weekend.

I'm here with you. The only difference is that I can't see my mum.

Really hits home how lonely I really am lol no one bothers with me.. lost friends because they CBA and I don't have much family. It's depressing.

I’m a little confused because you say your kids are off school, but you and your dh still working as key workers. You also mention needing a babysitter to go out so your children are clearly young. So presumably your routine has changed in some way? Do you have someone coming to the house for childcare? I can’t see how you would be seeing no one else at all as your children must need some form of care.

Anyway I guess the issue is when things are back to normality, Do you want things to change?
If so, then once we’re through this, organise a babysitter and some evenings out with your dh. I know that takes effort. When our kids were small we had no family nearby and any form of childcare meant proactively seeking it out (and paying through the nose for it!) For several years when the kids were under 5, all of my income went on nursery so it was really hard to afford a babysitter for the occasional evening out on top. But it’s important to have some social time together.

If you want things to change there’s always a way. And clubs, hobby groups etc are a good way to meet people if that’s what you want once this is over

Normally If I’m not at work I’m with the children and doing their social activities so my life hasn’t changed much. I am smirking at all the parents who can’t seem to cope with having their children all the time- welcome to my life.