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Original poster

Nurse not a nurse on mat leave

45 replies

Nursenotnurse · 27/03/2020 21:13

Background have been qualified nurse 5 years. 32 years old with a 4 month DS.

Obviously the nhs is going through a trying time at the moment, “friend” of mine has taken lots of hits at me that although the nhs deserves recognition at this time that because I’m on mat leave, therefore no help right now, I don’t qualify to receive any thanks on behalf of nurses. To the point literally saying I’m no help elsewhere but at least I am staying home so I’m helping there? Also the applause last night does not include me because I’m not involved in this time.
I get enough thanks from helping my patients and helping them through frightening times. Both before and after my maternity. So, that wasn’t something I was looking for, I clapped as hard for those working.
I already feel useless as it is and if my DS was a little older I would return to work sooner. But I feel a year college, 3 years uni, 5 years service in a highly demanding and rewarding job all to be recognised as the person who “did nothing” through Covid 19 because I’m at home looking after my baby?
I might just being sensitive I think. But feel rather deflated that I’m a bit useless

OP posts:

Starlight1243 · 27/03/2020 21:15

You're friend is a bitch you have a baby to care for.

TheGinSoakedBoy · 27/03/2020 21:15

She's not a friend. Dump her and snuggle your baby. Xxxx

TW2013 · 27/03/2020 21:18

Well at least you won't need to see her anytime soon.

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fedup21 · 27/03/2020 21:18

Sorry, but unless you were out in the street last night taking bows and saying all the applause was for you and only for you, your friend is a bitch.

Cillmantain · 27/03/2020 21:20

She is no friend

TwinsTrollsAndHunz · 27/03/2020 21:23

Your friend is a bell end to go out of their way to make this misguided and mean spirited point. You aren’t useless, you’re on maternity leave. I’m not a big fan of the NHS applause thing in general (ex nurse who feels it was more about communities patting themselves on the back rather than the key workers) but even so, your friend is talking out of their hole.

Original poster

Nursenotnurse · 27/03/2020 21:23

You are all right. Not sure why I let this get to me. Delayed hormones?

Thank you for your responses and making me feel I’m not being stupid in thinking she is not being a friend.

OP posts:

HoneysuckIejasmine · 27/03/2020 21:24

With friends like that...

lachy · 27/03/2020 21:24

Wow! She's deeply unpleasant. Distance yourself from her, if she asks why, bloody tell her it's because she's not someone you want to associate with.

willowpatterns · 27/03/2020 21:25

Wow.

BecauseReasons · 27/03/2020 21:29

Does she mean you shouldn't be using your NHS ID to get priority shopping, free coffee etc.? If so, I see her point. Then again lots of NHS workers who aren't actually working at the moment probably will be using theirs and I bet your friend would if she could.

Original poster

Nursenotnurse · 27/03/2020 21:36

Wow is a good description! thanks @willowpatterns @lachy

@BecauseReasons I haven’t left the house in nearly two weeks so haven’t took advantage of anything for the NHS. But could see where you’re coming from if I was to.

OP posts:

categoricallycrackers · 27/03/2020 21:43

She's no friend. You chose a vocation where you would care for people. If you weren't on mat leave you'd be there just like you have been there in the past and you'll be there in the future. How dare she talk down your contribution.

iusedtoloveopalfruits1 · 27/03/2020 21:46

@Nursenotnurse I am in the exact same position as you. I’m not a nurse but another AHP(13 years in the NHS), my DS is 4 months old. I too feel guilty that I am not at work and cannot help.
I used my NHS hour at the supermarket and felt guilty. My husband is in the NHS too and I was buying things we needed that’s how I rationalised it was ok. I was out clapping last
night for all my colleagues, my husband’s colleagues if we could help we would but you can’t leave a 4 month old baby at this time. You’d only be at work worrying about them, and be worried about bringing the virus home.
Staying at home is how we can help and that’s exactly what I plan to do.

AnyFucker · 27/03/2020 21:47

That's no friend

Freeze her the fuck out

iusedtoloveopalfruits1 · 27/03/2020 21:50

ps your friend is a class A b*tch

LightDrizzle · 27/03/2020 21:51

She’s jealous of the attention and praise your profession is getting currently and it is important to her that you “know” it doesn’t include you.
She is pathetic, unpleasant and she isn’t a friend.

museumum · 27/03/2020 21:52

Are you going back? In between 5 and 8 months when you do you will be needed. Many of your colleagues will be exhausted, maybe finished forever, some might die. Your time will come to serve in your vocation.

Letitallbeover · 27/03/2020 21:56

Thank you for everything you have done before and everything you will do in the future xx

Original poster

Nursenotnurse · 27/03/2020 21:59

It’s weird the guilt isn’t it?! I suppose this is why we chose this route, because we want to be of help.
Could be jealousy never thought of that tbh.
Yes planning to go back and possibly it will be when in the thick of it but couldn’t bare competing with her that although I’m useless now I might end up in the storm after the calm.

OP posts:

eaglejulesk · 27/03/2020 22:01

Anyone who would say that is no friend.

CormoranStrike · 27/03/2020 22:02

She’s an ex friend IMHO

EL8888 · 27/03/2020 22:04

She being a bitch. I also sniff out some jealousy. What exactly is she doing in the fight against Coronavirus?

EL8888 · 27/03/2020 22:05

@LightDrizzle l think you’ve got it there

Howmanysleepsnow · 27/03/2020 22:07

I’m a nurse. But agency and haven’t worked for a week, not due in for 2. I feel guilty too, despite working at a time there were cases in our hospital. I feel even more guilty that I’m considering more time off, but DH is likely in the 12 week shielding group so better that than more strain on the system.

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