Nurse not a nurse on mat leave

[Nursenotnurse]

Background have been qualified nurse 5 years. 32 years old with a 4 month DS.

Obviously the nhs is going through a trying time at the moment, “friend” of mine has taken lots of hits at me that although the nhs deserves recognition at this time that because I’m on mat leave, therefore no help right now, I don’t qualify to receive any thanks on behalf of nurses. To the point literally saying I’m no help elsewhere but at least I am staying home so I’m helping there? Also the applause last night does not include me because I’m not involved in this time.
I get enough thanks from helping my patients and helping them through frightening times. Both before and after my maternity. So, that wasn’t something I was looking for, I clapped as hard for those working.
I already feel useless as it is and if my DS was a little older I would return to work sooner. But I feel a year college, 3 years uni, 5 years service in a highly demanding and rewarding job all to be recognised as the person who “did nothing” through Covid 19 because I’m at home looking after my baby?
I might just being sensitive I think. But feel rather deflated that I’m a bit useless

Thats just mean and childish. It’s not as though you decided not to be working at the moment because of the virus! Maybe your friend is feeling she should be doing more herself.
I’m an ex nurse, I was medically retired over 10 years ago and I couldn’t physically be of any use but i’m feeling guilty I can’t help. Then I had to go sick from my job which is doing amazing work to help but being that I could hardly move or speak i’m being harsh on myself!

Ditch her shes nasty

I’m also a registered nurse not working at the moment. I’ve been asked to return to my trust on a bank contract. The sense of duty is there and I feel I should go back, but I’m caring for my daughter with learning disabilities who is really struggling with the huge upheaval.

The conflict between sense of duty for nursing and family loyalty is awful and I feel stuck in the middle of the two.

@sazza76 thank you to you for all your service that you did and for continuing to give yourself even when it got tough! Take it easy on yourself now and give you some well earned down time.

Personally I think anyone who works in the NHS deserves a great big clap at any time not just when there's a pandemic on, so here's one for you 👏🏻👏🏻

Enjoy your baby

@museumum you’ve hit the nail on the head there! When you go back op they will need you more than ever. Rat as much as you can keep up to date and hold your baby close.

Rest not rat 😬

I really hope your "friend"' doesn't work in the NHS also ...

@museumum

That comment is unfair.

@EL8888 whatever it is, is clearly important!

Thank you thats really kind of you to say. No one on this thread should feel guilty, looking after your family is the right place for you right now. You feel guilty because you care, because you are kind people, no one can be at 2 places at once caring for everyone though.

Shes jeolous

Don’t people normally return after mat Leave? Op is obviously returning I think they were just being rhetorical.

@Nursenotnurse has your friend volunteered so they can receive their “claps” too?

Please do not give up precious time with your newborn! For the NHS, you are just one person, who they'll work as hard as they can, for as long as they can. For your baby, you're the entire universe. This pandemic isn't going anywhere fast, and in months to come you can step up and let the first wave take their leave and get some rest. You'll be even more valuable at that point.

Oh my the clarity from your replies is heartwarming! Thank you honestly I was feeling rather low because of more than I mentioned comments/ digs about not being of any use! But I shall cuddle my boy in comfort I’m all his for this short time.

She is not your friend.

OP, don't feel guilty and give your "friend" a wide berth.

My DD is at work tonight. Her Trust have announced that they plan to increase critical care beds by more than four times the current capacity. All the nurses and doctors are incredulous, staffing the beds they have already got was not always easy.

All they can glean is that district nurses who have previously done critical care will be called in and retired staff will be there to help. Before you had your baby you would no doubt have mucked in and then made the best of it.

Just keep your baby safe!

You played your part in the past and you will again in the future. You're still doing a great job caring for your baby. Flowers from me !

I retired within the last 3 years and have had an email requesting me to return to practice. I was in the NHS for 37 years. I left without any written acknowledgement or thanks from anybody at manager level. I cannot face the prospect of working regulary, for up to 11.5 hours without a break. For being told I cannot leave because there is nobody to relieve me. I feel so disappointed that staff leave without feeling genuinely valued.