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So bloody annoyed with sil selfish attitude

57 replies

Ladyglitterfairydust · 25/03/2020 22:38

I’m so bloody pissed off with my sil and her selfish attitude. She’s still sending my 2 year nephew to the childminder 3 days a week. Her husband works as a radiographer (cancer treatment) and she works doing research at a university and is currently working from home (writing up research I think). This means bil is a key worker but she’s not! Sil in law has decided that she’s going to use the key worker golden ticket and still send her son to the childminder. Both myself and dh are teachers and I explained that she shouldn’t be doing this. Childcare is now just for when there is absolutely no one at home to look after a child. It is NOT for when the other non key worker parent just wants some piece and quiet to work. Her answer was ‘well I think it’s the best decision for us, I can’t get anything done with him here’. Half the bloody country are having to manage. I don’t see why she should be such a special case. For example, today I helped my son do his school work, entertained my pre-schooler and responded to endless emails from the kids I teach. She’s putting so many people at risk with her selfish attitude. I didn’t send my son to school and my daughter to the childminder so I could ‘get on with things’. I just managed - like everyone else is doing.

OP posts:
Ladyglitterfairydust · 26/03/2020 07:39

Maybe it’s just me then? Maybe loads of people are doing this? Just realised I’m so annoyed that I seem to have lost the ability to spell. Should be peace not piece.

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Unshriven · 26/03/2020 07:41

She's working, he's working, the childminder is working.

Leave them to it.

Ladyglitterfairydust · 26/03/2020 07:50

But it is clearly NOT the rules the government has imposed. None of us want to be in this position and if people don’t follow the rules we’ll all be in this situation for far longer. She is no more in need than the millions of other families who are having to manage.

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BuffaloCauliflower · 26/03/2020 07:51

The guidance sent out said only one parent had to be a key worker

Bluntness100 · 26/03/2020 07:56

This is fine, she’s allowed to send the child and she’s doing nothing wrong.

You seem jealous. Leave her to it.

Ladyglitterfairydust · 26/03/2020 07:56

Yes, but it also very clearly says that childcare/school is to be used as a last resort only. If there is someone at home then any children should stay there.

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fairynick · 26/03/2020 07:57

I’m on your side OP. If you can keep your children at home, you should.

Sackofspuds · 26/03/2020 07:58

Agree with you OP.

Laaf80 · 26/03/2020 07:58

Why are you blaming your SIL and not both parents?

Maybe they decided to keep using the CM services to keep that business going? I’m sure it’s all been discussed with the CM.

Theukisgreatt · 26/03/2020 07:58

I dont think it's fine at all, it is selfish and irresponsible.

Ladyglitterfairydust · 26/03/2020 07:59

www.gov.uk/government/publications/coronavirus-covid-19-maintaining-educational-provision/guidance-for-schools-colleges-and-local-authorities-on-maintaining-educational-provision

Point 1 very clearly says children should stay at home. This is the advice being reiterated by all schools and nurseries.

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Nicelunch25 · 26/03/2020 08:00

Agree op. I reckon the government will need to put more serious measures in place and then she'll do as you are doing. I'm trying to focus only what is in my control or my mental health will go down.

middleager · 26/03/2020 08:01

Agree with you OP. People are abusing the system and putting lives at risk.

PurpleDaisies · 26/03/2020 08:01

Is your brother blame free?

Idontkowmyname · 26/03/2020 08:01

I’m with you op, I loathe one rule for one person and another rule for everyone else. Writing up a report at home is not a good enough excuse to not send her kid in. The UK will be stuck with the current and possibly stricter measures for far longer if people keep ignoring the rules

IWantT0BreakFree · 26/03/2020 08:02

This is fine, she’s allowed to send the child and she’s doing nothing wrong.

No she’s not allowed to do this. Only children who cannot safely be cared for at home should be at school. She is at home and she’s not a key worker. Her child should be at home too. Convenience doesn’t come into it. The guidelines on this are crystal clear.

You seem jealous. Leave her to it.

How silly.

Noodlenosefraggle · 26/03/2020 08:02

I think its irresponsible because shes putting her child at additional risk, but if shes willing to take that risk it's on her really. The childminder is being paid, they will be in a small setting in someone else's home, presumably just going between there and home. Shes not taking up a space in a school. Let her crack on.

Ladyglitterfairydust · 26/03/2020 08:02

I agree it is up both parents, but my bil works for the NHS so in this instance I think sil should step up and take the lions share of the childcare as she is in the house all day. They could still pay the childminder even though they’re not using the service. Everyone else I know is. Their income has not been impacted at all.

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Macaroni46 · 26/03/2020 08:03

I'm a teacher too OP and I agree with you. The key worker childcare places are for last resort only.
Why can people not understand that the less mixing of people there is, including children, the better.
There are some selfish fuckers out there.

RaininSummer · 26/03/2020 08:03

I think it is wrong and that is one more link made in the contagion chain as the child will have been near his non isolating Dad.

Ladyglitterfairydust · 26/03/2020 08:03

@IWantT0BreakFree thank you. This is exactly my point.

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Macaroni46 · 26/03/2020 08:05

@Noodlenosefraggle she's also putting other people at risk - the child minder, the childminder's family, the teachers looking after her child. Just no. The child should be at home.

Ladyglitterfairydust · 26/03/2020 08:05

@PurpleDaisies it’s my bil, but no he is not blame free. I agree he has made the decision with sil. But he really does have to go to work (cancer treatment).

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Ladyglitterfairydust · 26/03/2020 08:08

@Noodlenosefraggle I appreciate it’s a small setting, but he is not the only child there. There is no way the childminder is going to be able to keep pre-schools 2 metres apart. Then they all go home and spread the germs.

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Ladyglitterfairydust · 26/03/2020 08:09

@Macaroni46 thank you. You’re absolutely right. Childcare is not a golden ticket so that you are not inconvenienced.

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