And lo, the screaming in gardens has started

[Lludmilla]

Kids have been off school 1.5 days. That didn't take long, did it??

(And yes, I know this is a polarising topic on here, but today I'm really struggling to wfh due to constant screaming from kids playing in gardens. And no, I don't mean shouting or laughing or giggling, none of which I'd have a problem with... I mean full-on, top-of-the-lungs screaming.)

I get that we have to make allowances/keep things in proportion etc etc at a time like this, I really do. I also get that it's nice that we at least have some sunshine during all this, and I think it's great that kids can play in their gardens. But the SCREAMING. It's like this every single year in my street as soon as the sun dares to show its face, it gets to me and makes it hard to concentrate on work, and sometimes I need to vent even though I know I'm likely to get a pasting for it.

Surely it can't just be me?

Kids are supposed to play and have fun in their garden. Not scream incessantly.

Kids are supposed to make a racket in their own gardens.
If you don't like it, move somewhere other than a family area
I live in a family area.
Funnily enough the children manage to play in the gardens and on the greens and and in the street without making a racket.

If this is intolerable to anyone, I'd suggest a bungalow, apartment block, retirement village or isolated cottage would be more appropriate
There are plenty of places to live where noise is unlikely or not acceptable
Sigh.

Most people have no issue with reasonable noise or children playing.

It's always those who defend unreasonable noise levels and inconsiderate behaviour who say "if you expect silence then go away". 🙄 Aka "it's obvious nobody expects silence, but we want to be as loud and inconsiderate as we like, fuck you all and if you don't like it then get out our way".

People like this rely on being so insufferable that people don't bother to challenge them anymore. It's a nasty attitude.

During the day there is lots of DIY and gardening tools (retired), balls being kicked on fences and chasey games in the street (shrieking from older kids), occasional music coming from windows or gardens (teenagers) and some giggling and occasional shrieks from gardens (younger kids)

You're contradicting yourself now. There's a fair bit of difference between those noises (all normal and, I agree, to be expected in what you keep calling 'a family area', i.e. most suburbs) and actual screaming blue murder for no reason, which is what this thread is about. But I'm not even going to waste keystrokes discussing the distinction any further, as I can see others have and you seem determined to ignore it.

As for 'If you don't like it, move' – the entitled-ness of that just takes my breath away.

You can’t just move because someone has decided that their kids screaming is perfectly acceptable. I’m sure they wouldn’t have thought screaming kids was ok before they had their own.

I'm not contradicting myself at all. That's what family areas sound like.

Some of it annoys me - but I'm not so self-centered as to expect others to stop doing normal things because of my feelings. That's self-entitlement. I am not the center of the universe, I cannot expect people to act like I am. I cannot expect 72 year old Barry to not use his garden tools when I'm trying to get the baby to nap. I can't expect Brenda next door not to have her tele a bit loud when Corrie is on- her hearing aid hurts her ears.

Neither of them have ever objected to noisey kids in my garden either.

This is tolerance- which is what communities are actually based on.

I'm not contradicting myself at all
You are.
Up thread someone asked you why your child's desire to scream tops everyone else and you said it's because they're a child and their world is a bit different now.

You also said you refuse to have you child be quiet, said it's totally normal for children to be screaming and said anyone with an issue with it should move somewhere isolated.

You're only backtracking a little because most posters have said quite clearly that nobody expects silence, have no issue with normal neighbourly noise, but think screaming and shouting is unreasonable.

How am I back tracking?

I've always thought that kids should play out- been in the garden most of the day.

I do however think it's particularly churlish to object to children making a racket in their own gardens now. They have nowhere else to play.

It's whiny and self centred at the best of times, but now?? Just unpleasant

Nobody is objecting to children playing in their gardens!

They're objecting to kids screaming, shouting and making a racket.

You've defended shouting and screaming throughout the thread and suggested anyone who objects should move somewhere else.

Then have tried to say you're just talking about normal family noise, even though so many posters have said they have no issue with normal reasonable noise.

Many people live in family areas and shouting, screaming, making a racket is not the norm.

Shouting and screaming is normal family noise for kids.

We used to tear round our close and the estate like we were possessed! It was bloody great! We make a racket but didn't do any real harm and were always in for tea.

Can't ever remember being told to play quitely other than the day of a neighbours funeral.

I think people are so used to kids being chained to screens or supervised activities all the time, they've forgotten what normal kids sound like

Nope - I was a kid on the 70s and mum used to tell us to stop if we got too loud. She said it wasn’t nice for the neighbours

Shouting and screaming is normal family noise for kids.
It really isn't, unless they've been taught this is acceptable behaviour.

We used to tear round our close and the estate like we were possessed! It was bloody great! We make a racket but didn't do any real harm and were always in for tea.
So you were loud and used to run around making a racket as a child and have grown into an adult who permits unreasonably loud conduct in your own children.

That doesn't make shouting and screaming normal reasonable behaviour.

I think people are so used to kids being chained to screens or supervised activities all the time, they've forgotten what normal kids sound like
We're on our way to a full house here for 'things people who are inconsiderate to others say'.

The "chained to screens" argument is stupid. You do realise that the options aren't:

1. Allow children to tear around making a racket with no regard for anyone else

Or

1. Sit in silence chained to devices

I bet you're also fine with running around playing in shops and making a racket in cafes because "it's better than having them glued to screen" and "people who want silence shouldn't go to public cafes" (even though nobody expects silence).

Yanbu. My son is one of the screamers. He's 7.in my defence he has additional needs. My dd3 doesn't but copies him.
I want to scream at them but apart from keeping them I'm and them screaming inside the house I don't know what to do with them.
I regularly take wine round to our neighbours with an apology card for the constant noise.

As for shops and cafes- absolutely not.

You sit nicely in the cafe and you stay with Mum in the shop.

Otherwise we leave.

In the garden though? Go nuts!

I’m so glad some of you aren’t my neighbours. Why is it ok for kids to scream in their gardens and disturb babies napping etc etc?

For the same reason it's ok for people to disturb babies napping, with noisey power tools.

No one individual gets to dictate everybody else's behaviour.

For the same reason it's ok for people to disturb babies napping, with noisey power tools
Children can be taught appropriate indoor and outdoor noise levels.

Sometimes a power tool is required to do a job.

When a power tool is finished with, it gets put away.

When a child is taught they can make a racket because anyone who objects is uptight they continue to learn they can make a noise and will continue to make an unacceptable and inconsiderate level of noise.

A power tool doesn't grow up and become an inconsiderate power tool.

A child taught it's acceptable to make a racket because it's fun turns into an adult who thinks it's acceptable to make an inconsiderate level of noise in their garden because it's their garden, and someone who in turn teaches their own offspring to be rude and inconsiderate.

I can't actually believe we've gone from 'it's fine for my child to scream because I don't see why they should quieten down, to it's totally normal family noise to have an inconsiderate level of entirely avoidable shouting and screaming, to my child should be allowed to scream and learn to be inconsiderate because sometimes people do DIY'.

I see whiny self centred and unpleasant. And it isn’t people who object to screaming children. Not playing children. Screaming ones.

Some say screaming some say playing.

Some say ‘it’. Some want to say ‘right off’.

So upstairs little girl is singing right now. That’s cute. However her dad yelling isn’t. When she screams bloody blue murder because he is chasing her up and down isn’t.

Now she is crying and having a her evening tantrum - and throwing things - ok normal kid stuff but I don’t hear an adult talking to her and she can go on for ages (ok normal stuff but we never let DS cry).

We live in a block of flats and they are noisy. Normal kid noises, fine - noise that you can’t really control (some tantrums) ok too, but noise that you can control by saying ‘can you be quieter please?’ isn't ok - it’s not considerate, just as we don’t play loud music in the evenings and ask our friends to keep the noise down when they are leaving after a night here.

Children have stopped going to school, they are hearing stuff that some will be worried about, they have lost their routines, they're not seeing their friends, and won't for potentially a very long time, depending on what happens, which no one knows. For kids with no siblings there is no one to play with. For kids with siblings it families they don't get on with, they are stuck. Most won't get as much exercise as they did before. No PE at school, no football club, no nothing. We were all kids once, this is a nightmare for them. Yes kids make noise, that is a thing. The intolerance for children in the UK never ceases to amaze me. There are loads of sounds outdoors but the only one that induces anger in apparently lots of people is the noise children make.

In this situation I'd hope there would be a bit more empathy but no.

Tell you what maybe the next virus will be more fatal for children than older people, the quiet after that would be deafening.

The kids above and below me are preschoolers and have always screamed.

BeetrootRocks
Nobody is annoyed at the sound of children and nobody is objecting to them playing/laughing etc. Children playing is entirely reasonable.

People are objecting to shouting and screaming and making a racket because it's avoidable and inconsiderate. Parents who allow their children to behave with zero regard for others are selfish.

If I have friends round then I could entertain in the garden in the afternoon or early evening, enjoy a meal, a few drinks and generally socialise. That would be entirely reasonable.

It would be unreasonable for me to have a large group of friends round for a house party, get blind drunk and have loud drinking games because that's inconsiderate and rude.

Some on this thread are excusing unreasonable levels of noise and trying to suggest that anyone objecting to it must be insisting on silence and hates the sound of children playing.

Exactly, @BeetrootRocks

This thread is really grim. All these people preaching about consideration haven't shown even the slightest drop of empathy for the kids involved. None. Just a narrow obsession with protecting their own fragile senses, in the mythical, bucolic idyll they think they have some God given right to.

Interesting, the comments suggesting that it’s unreasonable to expect a modicum of peace in your garden and that if you do you should live somewhere isolated. There is an opposing view: if you want your children to be able to scream and shout unhindered, move to the countryside with no near neighbours yourself. I suppose it depends which way you look at it (ie do you have shouty kids?).
Kids can be noisy, of course they can, its the screaming thats just not on.

It isn’t lack of empathy or intolerance at the sound of children playing.

It is unnecessary screaming.

Yes we all made noise as kids. I’m telling you now, if we had screamed incessantly, we’d have been told to stop or we’d have been kept indoors - with or without a hot backside.

And being ex service, screaming chills my bones when I hear it when I’m half asleep.

Empathy? Where?

And where is the horror at all the noisey things? Nah, just pick on the kids.

Wonder if some people were ever children. Can't you remember how good it felt just to let rip? Run and shout and be young?

I'm not denying my son that for three months solid. I'm not making him play quitely for three months. Not even going to try.