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Original poster

Are you WFH with your partner, how's it going? My DP asks inane questions all the time and I might do a murder soon

75 replies

SickOFant · 19/03/2020 12:01

Me and DP have been working at home together full time since last Friday.

It's largely great but he has a habit of asking me inane questions and it's driving me bonkers.

Today he was heading to the shop and asked me if he should wear a coat. I think this was prompted by my comment that it looked like nice weather. But I'd just got up, I was in pyjamas, I hadn't been outside. He, on the other hand, had been out for an hour-long dog walk.

A while after he got back from the shop, he was deciding what to eat and asked me whether I knew where the digestives were. This was after he put the shopping away on Tuesday, not me.

Yesterday evening, he was about to call his parents and asked me whether it was his mom's birthday this month. His mom's. Not mine. His.

Since we started WFH together full time, I have really noticed this habit of his and its driving me absolutely insane. It's only been a week

I've now, depending on how pissed off I am, started either just walking away saying 'I don't know' or asking 'Why the fuck do you think I would know that? '

For context, I should say the domestic sphere is absolutely not my space, our domestic work is split 50/50 and I take zero responsibility for any greetings cards-related wife work. I don't think this is man-childing so much as just a really fucking irritating habit as though he's thinking these things out loud but directing them as questions to me. AAAARRRRGGGGHH

How's your WFH going?!

OP posts:

FredaFrogspawn · 19/03/2020 19:44

Make yourself a packed lunch before ‘work’. Then leave him to his 47 pans.

Fespital · 19/03/2020 19:50

Unfortunately my DH has had this affliction his whole life. I have found different ways to deflect the rhetorical questions which turn out to be actual questions. My latest is shrugging and saying 'Dunno. Ask Alexa' 😂

Dancinghorses36 · 19/03/2020 19:58

Break times have turned into quick 'nip into bed time' no complaints here

justgivemewine · 19/03/2020 20:13

I’m a sahm so home is my domain. He has now invaded it and is getting in the way and being a general nuisance. God help me next week when the ds’s are all at home too. I may have to redesign the patio 😉

Fairyliz · 19/03/2020 20:15

All I can say op is if you think this is bad wait until retirement.

DH retired a few weeks ago and since then we have had floods, a plague of locusts (ok in kenya its not that far away) and now a real plague. DH has spent his time following me around the house asking inane questions.

I'm close to calling the builders in for a new patio!

Eireni · 19/03/2020 20:23

My DP has this brilliant (spoiler: not brilliant) habit of starting conversations like “oh, that won’t work”. So then you have to ask “what won’t work?” so then he can tell you whatever it is he wants to talk about.

Yeah not having that.

ShadyAcromat · 19/03/2020 20:24

Fairyliz don't say that, don't. DH is working from home for the next few weeks then retiring. I've been looking forward to the retiring meaning and end to the two finger stabbing he calls typing, and the response to every email being either a sigh or a "good, good then" comment. Retiring means he's measuring things and planning things.

On the plus side for the next 4-6 weeks he still gets a death in service pay out. When I say he, I mean me, of course.

SunshineOutdoors · 19/03/2020 20:27

Is anyone who works part time and now wfh finding it increasingly hard? Dh could always go to work and do his thing - I worked 25 hrs per week part time in school hours but obviously did all the school drop offs and pick ups and sorted the kids when ill etc. Now we’re both wfh and our dc are already off, it’s like I have to fit in my work whilst entertaining them and he gets priority on work time. I get it, he works more hours and earns more than me but I thought this would be a great leveller and yet it’s not.
Disclaimer: he’s a great husband and father and I don’t need to ltb, it’s more a commentary on full time/part time well paid/less well paid and trying to keep your original responsibilities in this weird time and also it’s a big rant. If on Monday facebook’s full of loving spending time with the little darlings I’ll feel even more of a failure!

AHobbyaweek · 19/03/2020 20:42

My DH is a SAHP with my DD4. Nursery is now shut and I am WFH. I realised he playing on the PC or mopes about all day and DD is on the iPad/phone or randomly playing. He like me home but I'm getting stressed that he is doing nothing while I am working. DD likes to join my calls while DH looks at YouTube videos.
I really don't want another person to manage during this time but I may kill him if he down no housework as "you're home now you could put some washing on"

Fairyliz · 19/03/2020 20:49

Anyone remember that Alfred Hitchcock film ‘strangers on a train’?
Might be a good time to get away with a murder and blame it on coronavirus

Davros · 19/03/2020 20:59

Criss cross

willowmelangell · 19/03/2020 21:05

Think of it as a practice run for your retirement.

AlsoKnownAsMillicent · 19/03/2020 21:14

DH this morning, walks into room where I work, no concern for disturbing my train of thought... "Do we have any jam?"

He'd come downstairs from his office, and rather than go to the kitchen and LOOK, he asked me first - so infuriating!

Cheesypotato · 19/03/2020 21:21

Been working from home with DH also wfh for several years now, it gets better with time

noodlezoodle · 19/03/2020 21:29

I am always based at home or on site with customers but DH is usually in the office.

Heard a strange and unbelievably annoying thudding noise coming from the kitchen today, and on further investigation found him throwing a rubber band ball against the wall while on a call. "Oh," he said, looking surprised, "I didn't think you'd be able to hear that".

REALLY???? Gah.

AvonBarksdale99 · 19/03/2020 21:31

Wow I’m glad I’m not married to most of you

MamaDane · 19/03/2020 21:33

Well I'm on maternity leave with our twins but am really enjoying time with DP who is WFH. In fact, my DP had two weeks off (parental leave) right before it was decided nearly everyone non essential should work from home.

Part of me hope they extend the two weeks 🙈

MsTSwift · 19/03/2020 22:42

Dh made an omelette and used up all the eggs. I then did a shop - no eggs. So no morning egg for me. Seething with resentment know IABU but surely making omelettes in these times reckless and unnecessary?

GeraltOfRivia · 20/03/2020 09:11

We set him up an office in the spare room. It's like working in different locations. When we add the kids next week that may break us 😂

FightingFiles · 20/03/2020 09:22

I've just been putting in my headphones and ignoring him.

Also I have noticed he's wearing his headphones so I'm probably occasionally throwing out the occasional "ffs" and "well that's not going to work" as I read my emails too

Itstheprinciple · 20/03/2020 12:50

Do you think they are all this annoying when they're actually in the office?! DH is a teacher so I'm used to him doing work at home but possibly from next week he could be teaching online which will be extremely weird seeing him 'in action'.

SilverySurfer · 20/03/2020 13:42

Ha I was right - someone on here suggested there could be a baby boom as a result of all the isolation and wfh and I said I could see divorce/murder rates rising.

I could make a fortune - selling 6'x3' spaces under my patio

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 20/03/2020 13:48

I don't work, but dh is now working from home.

Yesterday, he updated me thusly, on an hourly basis:

"I just coughed once. And I have a bit of an ache here (points to side of chest), but I don't think I have a temperature (feels forehead) - but I do feel a bit odd" And then he stands there, looking perfectly fit and well, not coughing, breathing just fine, waiting for me to diagnose him.

And each time I explain to him that it is not one single cough, but persistent coughing that is the issue. And that tightness in the chest means your WHOLE chest feeling tight and you not being able to get your breath, not just a sore spot, and that the 'feeling a bit odd' might be just stress/worry. He appears reassured and goes back to the computer.

An hour or so later, he is back again - the ache in the side of his chest is still there. He coughed again a while ago, and still feels odd. I reassure him again.

Rinse and repeat!

The only silver lining is that my neighbour is having an extension built and has a massive hole in his garden - should I need to hide a body!

NumberMonkey · 20/03/2020 13:57

I wfh normally. It’s fab. Normally.

Now dh is on his desk 2m away, Skyping etc with R4 playing in the background.

Dc1 is home from uni and wafting about moaning about no money, too much study and how stressed she is by it all.

Dc2 is at college but that closes today and from next week, will be all virtual/Skype type lectures.

Dc3 is home and baking daily.

Dc4 finisheS primary today. Particularly galling is the new jumper, ordered 4 weeks ago and delivered on Monday. He will have worn it for 3 days.

I have discovered the joy of noise cancelling headphones and have fallen off the Lenten chocolate ban. I may end this the size of a house but my marbles should hopefully all be in place

Desperatelyseekingsummer · 20/03/2020 14:02

We have been working together for exactly half a day and so far:

He is so, so loud. I can hear every telecon through the whole house even with the study door shut. I made my calls from the garden in the end.

One massive argument about his over zealous plans for home schooling which resulted in him walking out. We never argue properly like that, not since we had our first newborn over a decade ago.

Haven’t even added the kids into the mix yet! My turn for the study on Monday though so planning to barricade myself in there and hope for the best.

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