My 3 year old told nursery I hit him

[HarrysMummy17]

When I collected my 3 year old from nursery at lunchtime I was called into the office.

The children was asked during group time what made them sad. My 3 year old said "when mummy hits my head".

I've never hit his head. I'm totally mortified that he's said it. I've never hit him. I tell him hitting is wrong. When fighting with his older brother I always tell them off and make a point of saying how dangerous it is to hit a head.

I asked then to ask him if he can elaborate and give any more details but he clammed up.

I'm mortified and upset by the whole thing. The nursery have said they have to record if, but what does that mean? Will they speak to my older child too?

Oh dear. Does he mean you hit your own head. Does his brother hit in when they are fighting.

It means they’ve filled out a form quoting exactly what he said, to whom and when. This will be kept in a special file which is locked away and seen only by the child protection officer. This will be passed on to relevant agencies (social services) if there are any future concerns. This will be kept indefinitely.
At this point nursery will just file their concern and unless there have been other concerns they will not contact SS or your older child.

Make it clear to him of the consequences of his actions. At 3 he is old enough to understand how his lies will impact him - DN used to lie a lot for attention at a similar age. Had to make it clear that if it continued she would be taken away (SS only gave custody to me because I was the most convenient family option).

When I hit his head.

His brother has hit his head in the past when they've been fighting. They throw things at each other too

Thanks Clangus00.

DS fell off his bike and scraped his head, knees and arms quite badly. When nursery asked him about it he told them that I had pushed him over because he wouldn't ride his bike. (At one point I picked him up and told him he had to ride the bike carefully because there were people trying to walk past)

Luckily I had a video of him falling from the bike but I do dread to think of who would have turned up at my door if I hadn't have been filming him for those 5 minutes.

I am sure nurseries know that children get things mixed up and tell stories, but I really don't think SS will be coming to take your child away. At most they will keep it logged for future reference if needed.

Talk to him about telling the truth. But tbh there's nothing you can do now.
If there's a pattern they'll inform ss.

His dad just asked him if mummy hit him and he said yes. Mummy hit me when I'm naughty. Mummy hit me in the head when we were in the car going to nursery.
It's scary how sure he is.

Could his brother blame you when he hits him says it wasn't me it was mummy. Obviously you need to address the fighting.

My DD once told her reception teacher l had locked her in cupboard for being bad at weekend. Thank God the teacher knew me from my previous children. We were living in a tiny flat didn't even have a cupboard big enough to lock her in.
She also once wrote a what l did at weekend thing about how mummy got drunk and fell over. We went to pub for lunch l had a coke and on way home tripped over. That was a fun conversation with school.
I wouldn't worry nursery are probably used to kids tall tales. They can probably judge what kind off parent you are. But to fair they have to ask.

He probably is referring to a time where his head accidentally got hit on something. eg you were holding him, turned round and he banged his head on a cupboard door/ banged his head on car as you were putting him into carseat / you were carrying a box and didn't see. there are any number of possibilities. He's probably not lying, just not explaining in an adult way.

Years ago, when my friends little boy was around this age he went into nursery, they asked him if he had a nice weekend he said 'no' they asked why and he said 'because my Mummy hit me.... 3 times' this didnt happen.
My 4 year olds favourite game at them moment is, dead or asleep?? where we or toys have to pretend to be dead but they are really asleep. : ) I suppose things that are serious or sad to us are just part of their imagination at that age.

You’re lucky the just recorded it. I had similar and got reported straight to SS school didn’t even speak To me first. My child said the scratch on his head was “mummy” who done it when it was his brother.

Did he have a bad dream?
Did you toss a packet of tissues to them in the back and hit him by mistake?
Did the seat belt hit his head as you were doing it up?
Could be any of those. I wouldn’t worry.

Do you think he got a bit confused and said it because he knows from what you've told him that hitting on the head is bad so he thought that was something which would make him sad? Sometimes once they say something they then start to believe it and from then on its just "the truth" to them, (I used to be a teacher). Unless there have been other concerns they won't report you to SS immediately but will keep details on file.

Thanks for the replies. I think because the nursery know us is why they spoke to me to query it. His brother was there for 2 years and they've seen my 3 year old since he was a baby.

I've spoken to him about telling the truth. He keeps saying the same thing. That I hit his head, pointing at his forehead.
I know I probably shouldn't have but I told him that if he tells nursery I hit him if I didn't really the police could take me away.
I told him if mummy or daddy or Harry or any of his friends hit him then he must tell his teachers but only if it's the truth.

He just told me that I said I was sad when he head butted me when he was jumping about yesterday. I'm wondering if it may have been that.

It's the right thing to report it, even if they're fairly sure you seem like a nice person who'd never do that, because often people do seem nice when they're not.

It is very natural for children who're at the age where they're being taught 'don't hit, it isn't nice to hit' will make up stories about mummy hitting me. It's nothing to be mortified about.

@SarahAndQuack
Thanks. I'm such an anxious person. It's mortifying to think the nursery staff have doubts. I struggle knowing people think badly of me. I totally get the procedure.

@Wolfiefan

I don't think so! He seems to believe it!

Children at that age pick up all sorts of strange things and nurseries are very used to it. They’ll have to record it but I really wouldn’t worry. Probably best not to use the police as a threat again though as you want your child to trust them enough to approach them if they get lost etc.

Aww judging by the posts on this thread lots of us have been there! My DD told her nursery when she was 3 that I put her in the car boot and make her ride there. Complete fiction, I had never even put her in it for fun.

I really would not worry, many children live in a bit of a fantasy world and childcare workers know that. I'm sure they will keep an eye on things but absent unexplained bruises I doubt it will be a dark cloud hanging over you.

@Lazydaisydaydream

I do think he's confused. And he does seem to believe it. He said if someone's naughty they get hit in the head.

Have yous ever bumped heads or maybe accidentally bumped his head or your head on the car when getting in the car.