My 3 year old told nursery I hit him

[HarrysMummy17]

When I collected my 3 year old from nursery at lunchtime I was called into the office.

The children was asked during group time what made them sad. My 3 year old said "when mummy hits my head".

I've never hit his head. I'm totally mortified that he's said it. I've never hit him. I tell him hitting is wrong. When fighting with his older brother I always tell them off and make a point of saying how dangerous it is to hit a head.

I asked then to ask him if he can elaborate and give any more details but he clammed up.

I'm mortified and upset by the whole thing. The nursery have said they have to record if, but what does that mean? Will they speak to my older child too?

They probably don't even have doubts TBH.

But it's good they're doing everything they can to keep children safe.

It really doesn't reflect at all on you. It just shows they're a conscientious nursery.

@Lolalovesmarmite

Yes, I want him to trust the police. He knows they help. He knows the people can take bad people away so I was trying to explain that if I hit him it means I'm being bad and the police could take me away.

Children don’t lie, but they do get very easily mixed up. So they can seem very sure about what they are saying but in actual fact it’s several different situations moulded into one. Does that make sense?
My daughter told my mom that her dad pushed me in the bathroom, locked me in and wouldn’t let me out until I stopped shouting.
What actually happened is our bathroom door lock was stiff and over weeks of it being really tricky to open, it eventually broke whilst I was inside and I had to shout for my husband to try bust open the door from the outside. Sounded so much worse coming from a 2.5yr old who had it twisted in her mind.

@Scbchl

Yesterday he was jumping about when I was trying to get him dressed. He jumped and my chin hit his forehead. I said ouch. Stop jumping because that hurt and made mummy sad.

I bet that's it.

I know someone whose husband was play wrestling with their little boy and his already very wobbly tooth came out. He went to school and told his teacher that his dad had kicked him in the face and knocked his tooth out! Kids get mixed up and they haven't yet learned the nuance of language, so things can come out wrong.

@amusedbush

He can definitely get his words mixed up. The other day he asked when is it "the world finish?"
He meant weekend! 😆

@HarrysMummy17

In his defence, he's not far wrong!

I'd crack down on play fighting because we only have kind hands and feet etc.
Take turns making up a story then retelling it as the truth that actually happened

World finish

Children don’t lie

Course they bloody do! Especially if they think they might get told off. What a child of 3 can’t fully understand though is the scale and consequence of a lie. This doesn’t mean they are wicked, but that they are at a certain stage in their development.

OP I’m sure it will be fine. They will have heard much worse but they have to follow procedures for everybody’s sake.

I've been in a similar situation OP. My DC's got a talk at school, from Childline I think, talking about safeguarding issues, including parental addiction. My ds, aged 5, piped up "my mummy drinks a lot of wine". The teacher spoke to me about it - it was ok, we smiled about it as we'd known each other for years - but I did get a bit of a fright at the time. It was fair enough, she had to do her job and follow it up.

What had actually happened, I'd bought a bottle of wine one Friday and had a glass mid-evening. Then had another Saturday mid-evening. The bottle of wine sat in the fridge until the following Friday, when I poured the remaining glass. Seeing this, ds2 was shocked, and said "Are you having another glass of wine"? .

I'm an honest adult but i remember as a brownie (so older than your ds) telling my parents and grandfather that on a brownie holiday the Brown Owl made me eat a bacon rind (back when bacon rashers had the outer layer of pig skin attached.) She did nothing of the sort. I chose to eat it. My parents didn't complain or anything but poor Brown Owl being lied about like that. I just did it to cause a reaction

@forrestgreen

They aren't play fighting, they are irritating each other 😒. We do say kind hands but they just fight! They are a nightmare! I woke up this morning to them screaming at each other. One wanted the curtains open and the other wanted them closed. They were shoving each other away from the window 😑😖

@MountDiogenes
It took me so long to figure out he meant weekend!

I agree that children do lie. At that age my son told some absolute whoppers about nursery, things that were bad but fortunately so outrageous I knew they were not true.

I know another child who lied about going on a nursery trip, lied about going on a bus, what they'd seen etc. Very convincing and a total lie, they had never even left the building.

My dd told me that Mrs S at preschool had shouted at her and hit her. From her POV it was true.
What had actually happened was:
DD had gone to the toilet and decided to run down the corridor (not allowed) back, and had run into Mrs S in the corridor. Mrs S had said firmly (but not shouting) "You know you shouldn't run in the hallway."
A parent I fully trust had witnessed this.

Schools know you get these kind of stories from the children.

children don't lie er yes they do, some of them rather a lot.

Children don’t lie

children can and do lie. They just don't understand the consequences of it. even my only just 2 year old GC does, she sees it as a game or story not something you shouldn't do. They are making sens so the world in their own way and truth and lies don't necessarily mean much to them.

One of my children dreamt that his dad had hurt him, I can't remember how. He was convinced it was real life. I was there when he woke up and it was the first thing he said. I told his reception teacher in case he repeated it at school and she just laughed. Could it have been a dream?

My DD did this when she was four, I was absolutely mortified. She told the breakfast club staff I hit her head really hard so they pulled me to one side to question me about it the next day. I obviously had not hit her and I still have no idea why she said it, she’s almost nine now fwiw! I cried all the way to work that day, it was hideous.

Kids make shit up and say really odd things.

I dread this sort of thing happening! My youngest has autism and isn't great with speech so lots of things get muddled. The other day he came running into the bedroom and slammed the door closed, he sounded really scared and was saying 'daddies coming, don't let him in he will beat me, he always beats me'. I was like what the hell, asked him loads of questions etc. Turns out he meant beat him as in racing to the room, his dad always came first! Just hope he never repeats it at nursery!

@Isthistrueor
I've been bursting into tears all afternoon. Not looking forward to the nursery drop off in the morning.

My DD aged 3 told preschool she got a black eye because Daddy hit her. She didn't, she walked into a kitchen cabinet at a friend's. There were witnesses and DH wasn't there! I never got to the bottom of what she was referring to.

Children don't lie hahahahahaaaaaaa

I remember lying at about that age! (Well, just turned 4.) The truth was boring so I invented something more interesting.

HarrysMummy Sorry I wasn't laughing at your post. I can guarantee you they will have heard similar from other kids. Mine was convinced I'd thrown him across the room... and his reception teacher had slapped his face