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Original poster

Dd and friend drunk..,

40 replies

Seasonalanxiety · 08/03/2020 01:05

So, I was out for dinner tonight. DD (14) and her friend were going round to another friends house and were getting a taxi back to ours by 11.

DH who was home texted me in a panic at 11 as both girls were brought home by another parent, quite drunk.
I'm home now and they are pissed. Have put them to bed with water and a bucket. What do I do now? They're both drunkenly asking me not to tell the other girls parents but I don't see how I can not tell them?

OP posts:
Original poster
Seasonalanxiety · 08/03/2020 01:11

Just checked on them and they are spark out. Bucket and water in room.

Do I tell other parent? DD obv grounded...,

OP posts:
ineedaholidaynow · 08/03/2020 01:13

I would want to know at that age

Icanflyhigh · 08/03/2020 01:13

If you were the other girls parent, would you want to know?
I would.
My DD is 15 now and has had it drilled into her thsy she doesnt drink unless shes supervised by me or her stepdad.
I'm not daft, I now she has a couple.of cheeky ones, but she doesnt get pissed.

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maddy68 · 08/03/2020 01:13

Yes you need to tell the other parents, but it is normal. Wait until tomorrow when they feel like shit before you tell them off

PopandFizz · 08/03/2020 01:14

You must tell the other parent! I presume if it was your DD stopping at their house you would want to know.
Also if DDs friends parent finds out from the parent that dropped them off or another you lose credibility and arent trusted by other parents.

I'm sorry but this is one of those situations in which you need to be a parent not a friend.

ineedaholidaynow · 08/03/2020 01:15

What did your DH do? Why didn’t he phone the other parent when they were brought home?

TheVanguardSix · 08/03/2020 01:15

You must tell the other parent.
Are you going to capitulate to the demands of a couple of shitfaced 14 year olds? Of course not.
You and your DH better get your authority on in the morning. Keep an eye on them tonight. Make sure they’re safe and aware of the need to vomit if that happens. You’ll be on night watch. So get through the night safely and then in the morning, do the responsible thing and tell the parents.

Isadora2007 · 08/03/2020 01:16

You tell, but tomorrow.
Get up early and do your hoovering and other noisy things too!

Original poster
Seasonalanxiety · 08/03/2020 01:17

Indeed. I'm really cross. I trusted her to go round to someone's house whose parents I didn't know. This is the result. She's in massive trouble and her friend will be too if I tell her parents...

OP posts:
TheVanguardSix · 08/03/2020 01:18

I really cannot believe you’re asking, tbh. Make sure they don’t aspirate. That would be my acute worry. Right, I’ll leave you to it. Be a parent, not a BFF.

TheVanguardSix · 08/03/2020 01:20

WHEN you tell her parents, you mean. Not IF. Come on, OP. She’s 14, drunk, and passed out in your house. You have to keep an eye on her throughout the night. You WILL tell her parents.

Original poster
Seasonalanxiety · 08/03/2020 01:21

I'm checking on them every 15 mins. They're drunk but not vomiting drunk. Will tell other parents but not tonight. Will wait until morning. Really disappointed in them.

OP posts:
Thisismytimetoshine · 08/03/2020 01:22

Of course you tell her parents, what are you thinking?!

Original poster
Seasonalanxiety · 08/03/2020 01:24

I'm just really cross. And disappointed. This was a big thing

OP posts:
Zombiemum1946 · 08/03/2020 01:33

Yep tell the parents. They need to know what their child did. I'd want to know.

Skierrdery · 08/03/2020 02:02

If they're that scared of the other parents finding out, I'd just be worried about the consequences for the child. I wouldn't tell. I'd mind the pair of fuckers for the night, give them a right bollocking in the morning, ban them from ever cavorting together (ok, 2 weeks) and give them ham and cheese toasties and a cup of tea.
At least your child could come home to you.

Skierrdery · 08/03/2020 02:05

I'd want to keep the lines of communication open with my child first and foremost. Her parents could do anything if they found out - I'd suggest that they picked the lesser of two evils in choosing to go back to yours.
Little fockers.
If you're sure her parents are reasonable creatures, then yes, I'd tell. But if you don't know much about them, I wouldn't betray their trust.

Skierrdery · 08/03/2020 02:07

They have trusted you not to tell. I'd find it hard to betray that level of trust placed in me.

Hydrate · 08/03/2020 02:15

I would tell them. And I would have brought her home right away.

Glasscabinet · 08/03/2020 02:30

to Be honest I think the boat has sailed for telling the other parents.

I’d be pretty pissed that I wasn’t told at 11pm so I could collect my child to make sure she was okay - setting consequences first thing in the morning.

Ask her friend why she doesn’t want to tell her parents. If she answers something a long the lines of being grounded tell them. If it’s because she’s genuinely scared think about it.

What’s your approach for under age drinking?

CorianderLord · 08/03/2020 02:33

Mates mum told my mum at that age. Mum never mentioned it and it worked out OK - didn't touch wine for a good 5 years

CorianderLord · 08/03/2020 02:34

She's grounded though, and require her to watch some shows/ read about alcoholism.

Toomanygerbils · 08/03/2020 02:37

Tbh I think you should have told them straight away and given them chance to pick up their drunk child and manage it as they sit fit. I’d be prepared for an annoyed parent in the morning for not informing them straight away. Reverse this wouldn’t you want to know if your child was drunk at someone else’s house, what if something went wrong? Would you want to be the one dealing with it?

MySonIsAlsoNamedBort · 08/03/2020 02:41

Should have told the parents as soon as she arrived back at your house so they could collect her.

Splitsunrise · 08/03/2020 03:08

At 14 you definitely need to tell the parent, it’s too young